Limericks 11

I don't care if I seem to be greedy
Look at that pudding - my eyes are beady
It will go down well
Was hardly a hard sell

I don't care if I seem to be greedy
Look at that pudding - my eyes are beady
It will go down well
Was hardly a hard sell
I stuff my face when I feel needy.

The doctors have warned, I might be obese

The doctors have warned, I might be obese
Warning: He would send for the 'fat' police

The police said ‘mam’
We don’t give a damn

The doctors have warned, I might be obese
Warning: He would send for the 'fat' police
The police said ‘mam’
We don’t give a damn
Arrest you we will, and sense you will see.

With hands cuffed and head bowed

With hands cuffed and head bowed
Trying not to hear boos from the crowd

With hands cuffed and head bowed
Trying not to hear boos from the crowd
I think "Where is Fat Pride?"

With hands cuffed and head bowed
Trying not to hear boos from the crowd
I think "Where is Fat Pride?"
Don't tell me they've chosen to hide

With hands cuffed and head bowed
Trying not to hear boos from the crowd
I think. "Where is Fat Pride?"
Don't tell me they've chosen to hide
I wonder what happened to "Be loud and proud?"

So my thick waistline wobbled so badly

So my thick waistline wobbled so badly
But I’m beautiful to my boyfriend Bradley

So my thick waistline wobbled so badly
But I’m beautiful to my boyfriend Bradley
He thinks that I’m cosy

So my thick waistline wobbled so badly
But I’m beautiful to my boyfriend Bradley
He thinks that I’m cosy
And says that he knows he

So my thick waistline wobbled so badly
But I’m beautiful to my boyfriend Bradley
He thinks that I’m cosy
And says that he knows he
Will always be in love with me madly

I’m having trouble sorting my recycling bins

I’m having trouble sorting my recycling bins
The plastics, the bottles, the cardboard and tins

I’m having trouble sorting my recycling bins
The plastics, the bottles, the cardboard and tins
What day was collection?

I’m having trouble sorting my recycling bins
The plastics, the bottles, the cardboard and tins
What day was collection?
I didn’t pay attention

I’m having trouble sorting my recycling bins
The plastics , the bottles , the cardboard and tins
What day was collection ?
I didn’t pay attention
I think I’ve had too many gins.

Tomorrow it’s going to rain

Tomorrow it’s going to rain
I've had enough, I'm going to Spain

Tomorrow it’s going to rain
I've had enough, I'm going to Spain
A handsome torero

Tomorrow it’s going to rain
I've had enough, I'm going to Spain
A handsome torero
Like Ivan Fandino

Tomorrow it`s going to rain
I`ve had enough, I`m going to Spain
A handsome torero
Like Ivan Fandino
Will keep me in the fast lane.

Tonight there were fireworks banging

Tonight there were fireworks banging
My head is aching, my ears are hanging

Tonight there were fireworks banging
My head is aching, my ears are hanging
It’s November the first

Tonight there were fireworks banging
My head is aching, my ears are hanging
It’s November the first
Just wait for the fifth

Tonight there were fireworks banging
My head is aching, my ears are hanging
It’s November the first
Just wait for the fifth
No doubt there’ll be plenty of slanging

I’ll be having my flu jab this morning