Limericks 11

Can't wait for the next burst of sunshine,
Have you got your bikini? I've got mine
"You first, I dare you,"
Hope I don’t scare you
Come on , let's just get in line.

What a daring attempt that was

What a daring attempt that was
I didn’t join in because

What a daring attempt that was
I didn’t join in because
My tum is too fat

What a daring attempt that was
I didn’t join in because
My tum is too fat
My bum is 'plus vat'

What a daring attempt that was
I didn’t join in because
My tum is too fat
My bum is 'plus vat'
And I'm struggling through the menopause

Polly from Purfleet was poorly

Polly from Purfleet was poorly
She went to see Dr Dilholly

Polly from Purfleet was poorly
She went to see Dr Dilholly
He gave her a pill

Polly from Purfleet was poorly
She went to see Dr Dilhoolly
He said popping pills

Polly from Purfleet was poorly
She went to see Dr Dilhoolly
He said popping pills
Won't cure all your ills

Polly from Purfleet was poorly
She went to see Dr Dilhoolly
He said popping pills
Won't cure all your ills
But it keeps me in work securely

So Polly decided he was a Quack

So Polly decided he was a Quack
And was very tempted to give him a smack

So Polly decided he was a Quack
And was very tempted to give him a smack
She raised her hand

So Polly decided he was a Quack
And was very tempted to give him a smack
She raised her hand
Now that's been banned

So Polly decided he was a Quack
And was very tempted to give him a smack
She raised her hand
Now that's been banned
She tripped him up, flat on his back.

While he was down there she shouted

While he was down there she shouted
At last the black guard’s been routed

While he was down there she shouted
At last the blackguard's been routed
And while I'm at it

While he was down there she shouted
At last the blackguard's been routed
And while I'm at it
You’ve run quite a racket

While he was down there she shouted
At last the blackguards been routed
And while I`m at it
You`ve run quite a racket
And your guilt I never have doubted.

He wen t before the medical counsel

He went before the medical counsel
Who judged he should renounce all

He went before the medical counsel
Who judged he should renounce all
He's now a road sweeper

He went before the medical counsel
Who judged he should renounce all
He's now a road sweeper
Of his sowings he’s a reaper

He went before the medical council
Who judged he should renounce all
He's now a road sweeper
Of his sowings he's a reaper
His shame has made him antisocial.

This road sweeper gloomily pushed his barrow

This road sweeper gloomily pushed his barrow
Through the streets, wide or narrow

This road sweeper gloomily pushed his barrel
Through the streets, wide or narrow
Keeping an eye out for discarded treasures

This road sweeper gloomily pushed his barrow
Through the streets, wide or narrow
Keeping an eye out
For treasures ,no doubt ( to keep limerick shape)