I am home and catching up with all your posts. Thankyou all for your kind concern, and I actually ended up using some common sense (not something I tend to do when I feel fed up about things!) The weather has actually been windy but warm and quite nice today, and I recognised that I would be totally stupid to try to go to Stokesley, but knew that if I stayed at home I would feel miserable etc. So after checking up and sorting out a picnic , I took myself off to Beningborough , a NT place on the way to York, I had forgotten that Sutton Bank is closed at the moment, as they are doing maintenance work on it, so that meant that the A19 was very busy and added to that there was a car boot sale on so rather slow getting there. However I had rung and arranged to use a buggy, so a bit later than I had hoped to be there. but was fine when I got there.
I didnt try to go into the house, but took my sandwiches and drink and mac and jumper all packed in a bag with the Yorkshire Post and set off. Very windy, and my hair kept blowing into my face. I had put off getting it cut this week , but today showed me I need to get it done! However it was very good to be able to go around. It is sometime since I have been there, and there was a new part of the garden being made. Had a lovely time meandering round the garden, seeing how well the figs were growing and the fruit trees . There were some lovely late flowers and some very large squashes doing well. I was pleased to see lots of children enjoying the garden and they also had made a rather nice new play area with woven branches and swings etc etc and they have set up some brush areas , where they are filling gaps with both green and brown cuttings to encourage more wildlife. The perovskia - russian sage - was looking lovely and there were a good variety of the slightly smaller and browner sunflowers swaying in the breeze. It all smelt lovely and as I meandered around , trying to avoid the very bumpy cobbles it was very calming and I tried not to think about missing the horses etc at the show. I eventually found myself a sheltered bit where there was no one around and was happy to shift from the buggy to sit on a chair in the sunshine and read my paper, so I did take it easy in the end. With it being the Heritage weekend, it only cost me the fuel, and my halo was shining brightly as I managed to avoid looking at the books and plants for sale!! Medal Medal! Had an easy run home, not a lot of traffic around as I think most would have been at either of the two shows on today, so have now landed at home, just dumped bags down and couldnt find a parking space, so will give it a little while and hope that someone is a visitor and will disappear so that I can put the car in the better place.
So I actually feel a lot calmer, and have enjoyed my day, whilst still a bit sad not to go to the show. I am grateful for that lovely autumn weather, where we were warm enough, but not too hot and I am not planning on any great efforts now. If I feel up to it, I might make an onslaught onto the ironing, but at the moment just quite happy to take it easy. Thankyou all for your concern, and I think part of the problem is that when my husband was alive , he would either say he wanted a quiet day, or make a suggestion that we could sensibly consider, Somehow being on my own, without his lovely caring but common sense, I can get really stupidly determined to do things, You might think by my age I would have learnt some common sense. Ah well I am very glad I have you all to remind me of other ways of going on, and a day like today, does remind me that I can still have a happy day, if not the one I hoped for. Hoping you have all had a good day and that tomorrow is another good day for everyone. Thankyou all for your thoughts. It is good to know that there is someone around.
