Unwanted visitor

Think next time he suggests a visit I will say not in my home. If he wants to see DH then they can sort a venue between them.
Thanks for the reassurance that I should say stay away.

I’ve gone totally deaf. It’s not something a hearing test/hearing aid will remedy. I’m waiting for a specialist audiology appointment. The waiting list is long and slow. Perfect excuse.

I think Butterand jam has the perfect solution, kind and realistic

Honestly I would just say no. We have reached that age now don’t do anything you don’t want to do

Be honest, just say that you are too tired for house guests but would be happy to meet for a meal. The worst that will happen is that she stops contact with you

Would simply say I don’t have houseguests any more.

Spinnaker

Just say No

This.

I hope watermeadow has managed to put off her visitor?

sharon103

Tell her you're sorry to let her down but you're not as young as you used to be and can't cope with week long visits anymore and hope that she will understand.
If she turns 'tut' it won't matter. She won't ask again.
There's too many of us people pleasers. We have to think of ourselves sometimes.

I think this is the best and kindest way to end the visits.

My unwanted guest called last night and I did just what some of you advised. I wouldn’t be rude or unkind but rather exaggerated my frailties and said that I don’t have anyone to stay anymore as it leaves me exhausted.
She accepted this readily and spent another hour talking about people I’ve never met while I sighed with relief.

‘Sorry, I’m not feeling at all 100% at the moment, so need to take it very easy for a while - I’m certainly not up to hosting.’

I’m another who suggests just saying no, not offering any explanation at all.

watermeadow

My unwanted guest called last night and I did just what some of you advised. I wouldn’t be rude or unkind but rather exaggerated my frailties and said that I don’t have anyone to stay anymore as it leaves me exhausted.
She accepted this readily and spent another hour talking about people I’ve never met while I sighed with relief.

👍👍 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

direct and polite is best ‘I’m no longer hosting any house guests - all too exhausting’

Glad you resolved that, and jdip, it will work out for you as well.

Woop woop Water meadow!
Great to hear the problem's solved
I think we've all sighed with relief

Good work watermeadow. Now you can "enjoy" her telephone calls so much more, knowing that they will not end with a request for a date to stay at your house!

jdip I can’t believe your husband would entertain this man in any way after you have told him how harasses you!

Well done, Watermeadow!

Reply along the lines of:

I no longer have a spare bedroom. Perhaps we can meet up for lunch or a day out sometime at —————.

Fill in the blanks with a meeting point that’s easy to access from both your homes. Eg restaurant / national trust / garden centre / museum with a cafe.

Well done watermeadow. That took some doing and an hour on the phone was more than enough to show you were right. Big tick from me and I will follow your lead.

Bet you’re so relieved today warermeadow! A load off your mind.