Unwanted visitor

Bet you’re so relieved today warermeadow! A load off your mind.

Well done watermeadow. That took some doing and an hour on the phone was more than enough to show you were right. Big tick from me and I will follow your lead.

Reply along the lines of:

I no longer have a spare bedroom. Perhaps we can meet up for lunch or a day out sometime at —————.

Fill in the blanks with a meeting point that’s easy to access from both your homes. Eg restaurant / national trust / garden centre / museum with a cafe.

Well done, Watermeadow!

jdip I can’t believe your husband would entertain this man in any way after you have told him how harasses you!

Good work watermeadow. Now you can "enjoy" her telephone calls so much more, knowing that they will not end with a request for a date to stay at your house!

Woop woop Water meadow!
Great to hear the problem's solved
I think we've all sighed with relief

Glad you resolved that, and jdip, it will work out for you as well.

direct and polite is best ‘I’m no longer hosting any house guests - all too exhausting’

watermeadow

My unwanted guest called last night and I did just what some of you advised. I wouldn’t be rude or unkind but rather exaggerated my frailties and said that I don’t have anyone to stay anymore as it leaves me exhausted.
She accepted this readily and spent another hour talking about people I’ve never met while I sighed with relief.

👍👍 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

I’m another who suggests just saying no, not offering any explanation at all.

‘Sorry, I’m not feeling at all 100% at the moment, so need to take it very easy for a while - I’m certainly not up to hosting.’

My unwanted guest called last night and I did just what some of you advised. I wouldn’t be rude or unkind but rather exaggerated my frailties and said that I don’t have anyone to stay anymore as it leaves me exhausted.
She accepted this readily and spent another hour talking about people I’ve never met while I sighed with relief.

sharon103

Tell her you're sorry to let her down but you're not as young as you used to be and can't cope with week long visits anymore and hope that she will understand.
If she turns 'tut' it won't matter. She won't ask again.
There's too many of us people pleasers. We have to think of ourselves sometimes.

I think this is the best and kindest way to end the visits.

I hope watermeadow has managed to put off her visitor?

Spinnaker

Just say No

This.

Would simply say I don’t have houseguests any more.

Be honest, just say that you are too tired for house guests but would be happy to meet for a meal. The worst that will happen is that she stops contact with you

Honestly I would just say no. We have reached that age now don’t do anything you don’t want to do

I think Butterand jam has the perfect solution, kind and realistic

I’ve gone totally deaf. It’s not something a hearing test/hearing aid will remedy. I’m waiting for a specialist audiology appointment. The waiting list is long and slow. Perfect excuse.

Think next time he suggests a visit I will say not in my home. If he wants to see DH then they can sort a venue between them.
Thanks for the reassurance that I should say stay away.

My sister's old school friend has done this to her a few times. Last time 3'weeks ago, for 3 nights. The friend plonked herself on the sofa and did nothing the whole time to help. My sis was exhausted, she is not in the best of health. She says she will never do it again. She's going to tell her that she can't have guests anymore as she did find it exhausting. I think we reach the stage when we need to be honest about what we can and want to do. Especially if you don't even enjoy their company. Wish my sister decided that she didn't.

wellbeck

Isn't it still best to just be polite and not come over as being unnecessarily unkind?
.
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I refer everyone to a great YouTube site.
@Bulletproofbabes1.
Dr Lonna Denny.
Don't Let People Walk Over You.

Short pithy practical advice.