LIMERICKS (Apr ‘25)

He once let a burglar get in
Squeezed through window, must have been thin
And my watchdog just sat
On his black and white mat

He once let a burglar get in
Squeezed through a window, must have been thin
And my watchdog just sate
On his black and white mat
Didn't bark or bite his shin

The burglar alarm was so loud

The burglar alarm was so loud
It brought to the street a large crowd

The burglar alarm was loud
It brought to the street a large crowd
Dear guard dog slept on

The burglar alarm was loud
It brought to the street a large crowd
Dear guard dog slept on
The burglar was gone

The burglar alarm was loud
It brought to the street a large crowd
Dear guard dog slept on
The burglar was gone
I can't say the dog made me proud

Despite that, I love him to bits

Despite that, I love him to bits
He loves to eat Kibbles and Bits

Sorry, bits and Bits are the same word. Substitution:

Despite that, I love him to bits
Although he sometimes has fits

Despite that, I love him to bits
Although he sometimes has fits
He's loyal and funny

Despite that, I love him to bits
Although he sometimes has fits
He's loyal and funny
Costs lots of money

Despite that, I love him to bits
Although he sometimes has fits
He's loyal and funny
Costs lots of money
But all he does, on the carpet, sits 👀

Those bug eyes, I just can’t resist

Those bug eyes, I just can't resist
His flat face waiting to be kissed

Those bug eyes , I just can't resist
His flat face waiting to be kissed
Please rub my tummy

Those bug eyes , I just can't resist
His flat face waiting to be kissed
Please rub my tummy
I think you're my Mummy

Those bug eyes, I just can't resist
His flat face waiting to be kissed
Please rub my tummy
I think you're my Mummy
I say No but he just persists

There's less chocolate on my Jacob's club!

There's less chocolate on my Jacob's club
But more expensive - there's the rub

There's less chocolate on my Jacob's club
But more expensive - there's the rub
Try Kit-kat instead

There's less chocolate on my Jacob's club
But more expensive - there's the rub
Try Kit-kat instead
With your tea in bed

There's less chocolate on my Jacob's club
But more expensive - there's the rub
Try Kit-kat instead
With your tea in bed
Before bathing in your new tub.

I'm preparing for Halloween

I'm preparing for Halloween
I shall dress up in black and green

I'm preparing for Halloween
I shall dress up in black and green
Wear a witch's hat

I'm preparing for Halloween
I shall dress up in black and green
Wear a witch's hat
I look like a bat

I'm preparing for Halloween
I shall dress up in black and green
Wear a witch's hat
I look like a bat
Truly quite a sight to be seen!

Too old to go trick or treating

Too old to go trick or treating
With some old bats I'll be meeting

Too old to go trick or treating
With some old bats I'll be meeting
Round the cauldron we'll chant