Funerals and number of Attendees

It's an interesting thought. My friends are spread far and wide, I'm not sure there would be much point their all coming, so I think I would prefer just family. As long as the music is good.

Yep. All sorted. Private cremation to be carried out first thing in the morning with only sons in attendance if they wish to be there. After this my nearest and dearest will be informed in order from a telephone list I have prepared. One was happy to go along with this {and he holds the purse) whereas the other had many reservations but has since come round at his own pace. Hopefully this will not need to be expedited for many years! However, I have experience in the horror of sudden death so don't wear blinkers.

It is something I have thought about.
I have very little family.
Direct cremation seems to be the best option for me.
They can do as they choose with my ashes,but hope they will celebrate my life in some small way,I know they will remember me always.

I can think of nothing worse than maybe 2 or 3 people to mourn a life lived,I want to spare them that situation.

Kim19

Yep. All sorted. Private cremation to be carried out first thing in the morning with only sons in attendance if they wish to be there. After this my nearest and dearest will be informed in order from a telephone list I have prepared. One was happy to go along with this {and he holds the purse) whereas the other had many reservations but has since come round at his own pace. Hopefully this will not need to be expedited for many years! However, I have experience in the horror of sudden death so don't wear blinkers.

Do you mean first thing in the morning the day after you die?
My friend’s funeral was about three weeks after she died, because the crematorium was so busy, and they also had to wait a day or two to get paperwork countersigned.
Of course, it may be different where you are, or I’ve misunderstood your post.

I planned a cremation for our aunt exactly as she wished. No service no flowers no attendance so no fuss she would have been pleased. It's exactly what I plan when my number comes up.

My sons know that I don’t want a funeral or a service, but they can go out for a family lunch if they like. That’s what my father wanted, and that’s what we did, in 2001. When my mother died (1997) we didn’t realise we could opt out of a funeral, so we had the basic crematorium service. It was an absolute farce, as the poor clergyman didn’t know us, and none of us are believers anyway. Funeral services are really only for the religiously minded.

My cremation is all paid for with pure cremation.
Not at all religious, I don’t want any kind of service, not even a humanist one actually.
When my ashes are returned to my family, they know where I would like them scattered, and I just want my immediate family to do the scattering, and then I want them all to go for a slap up meal on the way back and raise a glass. (Or three)🥂

My body is donated to science, if they still want it 😂
They keep it for 3 years and then the family can take it.
I asked my daughter if she would do that no! what’s the point
came the answer.

Direct cremation for me with no-one attending. My family and friends can do something if they want but NOT in a church or crematorium

I will have a very low key cremation (cheapest) and they can scattered my ashes which is probably mostly wood and other peoples remains in the sea I have no great beliefs I want to but it’s not there yet

It's not funny but we do sound like a happy bunch 😌

I have thought about and left instructions for the actual service. It will be in our local church followed by a cremation. There are particular hymns that I like and music to be played at the crem. Have even sorted out the venue for the wake! My thoughts are more about how few people there will be to celebrate my life. However as a practising Christian I would still like this right of passage.

I did a private cremation for my H and I want the same for me.
His was at 8:15 one morning and I was the only one who knew the day and time.
I rang immediate family in the evening.
It was what we both wanted.
Family had said their goodbyes in the few days before his death.
Friends and neighbours were the last people I was concerned about.

My thoughts are more about how few people there will be to celebrate my life.
Do you mean you are worried other people won't think you were a nice person?

I've signed up to donate my body to medical research, and so has my husband, so there won't be any funerals. My dad did the same thing. It saved a lot of time, money, and effort, too - no arrangements to make. We had a little service at the hospital chapel when my dad died, and a buffet at a pub.

I've attended very large funerals, and also very small ones, both religious and secular.

I do think funerals, wakes, memorials, etc. are a way to honour a life and say goodbye. I think those that have no service at all may leave friends and family at a bit of a loss to deal with the death.

Having said that, my DH has stated what he wants, and I do have some idea of what I would like. The ones we have been to that felt like a good send-off involved a get together at a hotel private room, a few words spoken by family and sometimes clergy, a slideshow set to music the person liked. A few tears and a few laughs. The interment if done was privately held with family only.

I was talking about this to my daughter and she told me quite sternly that when I'm dead my funeral will be for those I've left behind, which actually made me rethink things. So, as I won't be there I'm now very happy to let those. who love and care for me, do what they want.

CanadianGran

I've attended very large funerals, and also very small ones, both religious and secular.

I do think funerals, wakes, memorials, etc. are a way to honour a life and say goodbye. I think those that have no service at all may leave friends and family at a bit of a loss to deal with the death.

Having said that, my DH has stated what he wants, and I do have some idea of what I would like. The ones we have been to that felt like a good send-off involved a get together at a hotel private room, a few words spoken by family and sometimes clergy, a slideshow set to music the person liked. A few tears and a few laughs. The interment if done was privately held with family only.

Sounds good to me.I always think that some sort of ritual is the best way to say a final goodbye.
I would want something similar when the time comes.

Daddima, would that it could be next day. ASAP is the answer. Recent contact with Crem indicated three days but somewhat depends on necessary paperwork being in order and, the way things are going with government, who knows?!!

I have very few close relations and friends so I want just a short service in the Church in whose churchyard I will be buried, prayers but no hymns as just a few people singing is very sad for those present, I wish it to be over and done with as quickly as possible for my son’s sake.

My mother’s funeral was attended by over 100 people and the service taken by a bishop. My mum was 70 when she died and my brothers and I followed Greek mourning and funeral traditions. My MiL on the other hand was 99 when she died in February 2020 and only a few people came to her funeral, 8 of which were our friends. My MiL had many friends and was a churchgoer but she had outlived a lot of her friends and family. I was very sad at how few people were there.
I’ve told my son (and husband) that I don’t mind what he decides on as any decision he makes will be for his benefit. I wouldn’t mind a bit of a party tho’!

My dd recently went to a funeral with over 350 mourners! I’m not sure I’ve ever known 350 people in my life.

I’ve attended too many funerals this past five years, both in person and virtually, and for the first time have thought about a private do for myself. Though I hope it won’t be needed for many a long year, as I’m only in my 60’s.

My husband’s funeral was meaningful for his loved ones, friends and colleagues. It was at our village Church as this was what our adult children wanted. Church full, singing good, vicar a friend who knows us well . Reception included an exhibition of his books and art work. Good food, music and photographs. An important get together to remember someone well loved
Woodland burial

Direct cremation for me I do not even want a notice in the local paper . I do not think my children would be unhappy with that. I would hate to think of people wondering if they should attend my funeral because I kind of knew them or they knew my DH . So many funerals are conducted by clergy who have no idea who this person in the coffin is . We do not go to church so that rules a church out for a service. An aund used to scold my mother because she did not go to church and she would ask who was going to bury her then . When she died two close members of the family stood up and spoke about her life and their memories of her and that was lovely .