Who is your back up?

Thank you for all these helpful suggestions. I have been worried that if I had an accident or an operation there would be no-one to call upon, as all my children are all in other countries. I have many friends, but wouldn't want to bother them to visit me in hospital, do the washing etc. I didn't know that social workers will help for a time and put you in touch with care agencies, so feel much reassured.

I agree with those that say Doctors make assumptions! I was not asked who would be able to help when I returned home, this despite a rare cancer diagnosis, and two operations; one emergency, and a life threatening bout of sepsis? all of these naturally left me (a youngish early 50’s lady?) quite incapacitated! If I had gone home alone I would not have been able to get to the loo (I pass out without warning) or prepare food never mind shop!
I remember thinking then, like others, that I could easily die alone at home! since I was helpless as a baby! Thankfully I do have family, albeit miles away, and so I went to stay with one of them and am here now slowly getting better.
pinkjj27 Your story is horrific! I hope you are on the mend now!

Here`s another realising and fretting over the fact, apart from my husband, we have no other helper or indeed another person to ask for help.
This situation has given me sleepless nights and nightmares for many years, and yes realising the only thing open to us is try ing to help ourselves.

I have had a range of cancers with life saving operations,treatments as well as several other serious illnesses.
The last straw came on learning my husband,my long term carer also has a life threatening illness.
We have made every offort to help ourselves by trying to sell up our delightful, but quite large and isolated home with grounds that take much maintaining.
We have been quite unfortunate through no fault of our own, and therefore twice have lost out on a Retirement Apartment in a complex.... which has a manager and various aids to assist, at least in an emergency.
We have also just lost out on a Sheltered Housing place but still head the list............therefore we are keeping trying many options hoping to sort out our own difficulties..........or at least lighten the heavy load.

I truly understand and empathise with you Liltinglyrics and all the dear ones in a similar position,and for those all alone, of course it is even worse.
Of course,naturally we all like our privacy and independance and cannot be faulted for that,yet it is so darn difficult to sometimes even just help ourselves!!!

We are living on very much on this precipice,teetering,hopefully awaiting a rescue passage.............just simply the sale of our property......and it going through this time..........and then hopefully a Retirement Complex fairly near at hand.
Not easy to combine the sale and the purchasing..........another nightmare.
It is extremely difficult because where we live, I think the fact of a fast moving aging population has not yet got the builders building enough of these places.
There is a massive shortage.

We keep hoping!........and may each one of you find suitable answers too.

I am in exactly this situation. No children only brother died 8 years ago, he had no children either. He lived in Scotland so his wife is up there. She has family from a previous partner.

I have a house full of stuff and I need to get rid of lots of it. I am, after my only older friend, breaking her arm and needing me to drive her around seriously thinking about moving. I have tried hard to find a bungalow but the sale of my house would not cover the cost. I have come across a new build of two bungalows which is a part share and I am presently going through hoops to see if I qualify. A house a few doors from me sold quite quickly last week. So I am sure I could sell. Just hesitating re putting it on the market.

Anyone who comes to empty this house has a job on their hands. I at lease would be able to get a charity to take some of the stuff.

So, although I panic when I think of my situation I am hoping to move although I have lived in this house since 1961.

It is awful having no one to call on in an emergency.

I am in a large property too which has accumulated belongings of 5 generations! To be honest I have decided to pay a firm to empty the house and put all into storage for the time being as I decided that an empty property would probably sell quicker. My daughters have all said I can stay with them until the place is sold which takes pressure off me. My plan is to downsize now while I am still young(ish) and make the new place just up together. I will then get a gardener a day a week and a cleaner for a couple, so I can get on with getting back to work, and so on ?☕️?without the stress of running a large home?

My post vanished.

How bloody annoying.

I recently had a knee replacement and my husband and I realised how much we rely on each other and take about what we would do if we were ever on our own. I just couldn't have managed two weeks after the op as I caught a virus and just couldn't leave my bed. The dr even came out twice to see me. I think I would book myself into recite care or if it kept happening move to sheltered housing. Its hard getting old.

My uncle was in a l/t mental institution for most of his life. Got care in the community eventually when they started shutting them down, so called supported living. My father's suggested that he should start going to the nearest church, which he did and found a lot of support there. There are lots of volunteers attached to the church who are quite willing to offer support, possibly on a rota. Worth having a think about. These days they don't care what race, religion (if any) etc you are, they will help anyone.

I recently suffered a "hypo" (I'm Type 2 Diabetic) despite the best efforts of the Paramedics my Blood Sugar stayed low & Blood Pressure far to high so I had to go to ED as I live on my own. 4 hours later I was allowed home. Luckily DD could take me home after dropping DGS1 at School. DD lives about 5 mins from Hospital but about 10 miles from where I live. DD has my 2 DGS aged 8 & 1 plus a Registered Disabled OH. She could not care for me if I needed multiple visits during the day. I live in a Park Home so no stairs, neighbours are lovely but I couldn't impose too much. I do worry what would happen if I needed a serious operation or was seriously ill. Luckily my local shop delivers, I have a Milkman & can order groceries on-line, but it's still a concern. We have local volunteers who will take you to Doctors/Dentists/Hospital Appointments. My DM is 89 & still lives independently but as she lives 300 miles away I worry about her too

Thank you to everyone who has responded to my post. Almost a week on, I am limping around but managing well.

It does seem there are a lot of people in a similar position whether one has family or not.

Reading about the experiences of others and the advice given has given me much to think about for the future.

Thank you all again.