Who is your back up?

It's lucky your neighbours are there as it sounds like it would be very difficult for you to manage without their help. Could they make you a flask of tea or coffee and some sandwiches in the morning so you don't have to keep getting up and down. Try to have everything near to hand - phone, tv remote, radio etc. How are you managing during the night? I hope you soon start to feel a bit more mobile.

We only have each other if there is a problem and my husband works an hour away - one son lives 2 plus hours away and the other is on the other side of the world. We have no friends or other relatives nearby and although the neighbours are ok we don't know them well enough to ask for help. I suspect a lot of people are in a similar situation these days.

independant.family all too far away and raising their own.but we have home visitors here.everything from housework to pet walking to cooking to personal help.and its free so i do not worry too much.animals have "godparents" in case i kick off.

I don't have your problem but I have a very good friend who is in similar situation. I go as often as I can, but as you say I have so many other commitments its not as often as I liked.

What she did was to advertise for a carer. Although she does have to pay her, this carer has become a companion too. She comes in daily probably for an hour or two. She does a little cleaning, puts washing on, empties bins, makes sure she has all she needs or goes shopping. She also fills flasks with coffee, tea or whatever and plates up meals which my friend does manage to microwave.

I don't know your personal circumstances so difficult to know if you can afford help but if you can't and you can't manage - get in touch with a social worker. Nobody should be left without any help whatsoever. Good luck

I am in that position myself don't know the answer. Getting to hosptital, having no support and just hoping I don't need an operation for my heart.

Quite a worrying scenario for all those without partners and close family to help.Yes, we should all be independent where possible ( sounds as if you are very independent Lilting) but sometimes there is no easy answer.
In this situation, if you tell the hospital, perhaps they arrange some sort of home visit or can put you in touch with somebody from the surgery or social services, if you need ongoing care/bandages etc.
Having good neighbours is wonderful.Get well soon.?

Now my grandchildren have moved away I am without help, my son in law who isn’t and my son in law both work . I have lived in this cul de sac of 18 bungalows for 18 months, met one person the week I moved in, not since. It is difficult.

Before I was discharged from hospital I was asked on several occasions about care at home.
I'm very fortunate that my family were able to provide 24 hour care for the first 2weeks (to the extent that I was looking forward to having my independence back.)
However it was clear that a care package would have been put in place if needed.

It's probably a good time for you to look around your house and think of how you'd get around in the future, if anything similar happened. None of us is getting any younger, and the prospect of being able to jump in and out of a bath, run up and down stairs etc, is unlikely to be easy as time goes on.

I moved into my place a few years ago, with those things specifically in mind. My husband is a lot older than I am and not able to help with anything, so I made sure that the house was at least very easy to navigate. Good luck.

I am in your position. When I was taken ill a few months ago I rang 999 and was taken to hospital, after treatment I got myself home and then spent the week in bed. I had no-one to call on for help. It has made me think about my situation and I am thinking of perhaps moving to a sheltered community where I would still have independence but there would also be someone on hand if I need help.

I was widowed fairly young with no children and I'm fairy independent by nature.
My back-up is my sister who lives a few streets away. I hate to ask for help but I needed it two months ago when I suffered a nasty fall. I dread to think how I'd have coped completely on my own. Assisted living perhaps?

Adult social care should step in .With family overseas I could not expect them to come over to me following my first hip replacement, now waiting for the second. The hospital notified ADS of my situation These lovely ladies were to call on me every morning, half an hour for six weeks, and were to help me shower /dress /make me breakfast any personal things I found difficult to do myself and half hour evening to help with a meal or get me ready for bed.. You need to look into this as I am sure if you are in the UK you are entitled to this.

It is difficult and can be depressing. You’re fortunate to have neighbours willing and able to help, not everyone does.
Looking back to the time after knee replacement the most helpful things were microwavable ready meals and a lightweight tray trolley. The latter was provided on free loan after I asked the visiting nurse advice on buying one. Hospital transport also helped by getting me to physio and, of course, I used online grocery delivery.
It was a lonely time but each tiny achievement brought me nearer being able to get out again. I hadn’t anticipated how unsupported I felt and, on a bad day, still do.

A friend of mine was in this position after cancer surgery. She booked in for respite care at a local residential care home. They took great care of her and she was very happy with the home. It is modern and has good facilities, run by a large local charity. It wasn’t cheap, but worth it for her. She has done this on a couple of occasions since.

I want to show this post to my mother who is currently needing the family to run around after her and who is "^stubbornly independent^and doesn't enjoy being fussed over. I'd love to leave her to a neighbour.
I hope you recuperate well and Willow500 offers some very useful advice about how to make things a little easier on the knee. There is a balance to recovery, too little action can be as damaging as too much but your body should tell you which way you need to go. Temporary care can be organised by the hospital if needed so they must be confident you can manage.

LiltingLyrics I feel for you as I ,too, have been there but believe me you will soon feel on top of things. You are low at the moment. Having to be hospitalized is horrible, feelings of vulnerability and losing ones independence. Your knee will get better and a little bit of exercise won't do any harm. The experience gave me an opportunity to organize. I have a grocery delivery as and when I need it (internet) and a regular cleaner through an agency. I have thought about the future and will be ready to put plans in place when I need them. You will soon be up and about again. Lots of living in you yet. Much love.

I know the hospital arranged for a lovely lady to come and help my mum with dressing and breakfast for a short while, I was working and did the evening, as far as I can remember mum hadn't even asked. I am just wondering if Age UK would be of any help with finding help. I hope your knee feels easier soon.

I'm surprised that the hospital didn't help more. Get in touch with the red cross they have an independent living crisis team who will help you get the support you need

I finished radiotheraphy for anal cancer on May 2nd which was successful but on 18th June experienced agonising pain in my back and was hospitalised. Found a hairline fracture. in base of spine caused by the radiotheraphy. Was prescribed strong pain killers every four hours but couldn’t walk without severe pain. Have been sent to a care home for rehab but wish I was back in hospital. The medication is not administered on time and often coincides with meal time which makes it impossible to eat. The food anyway is not as good as the hospital. Very stodgy. The evening meal is 6.30 and there is nothing until breakfast until 9 am. Not even a cup of tea. I have always been independent now feel lIke I am a prisoner. At least in hospital there were other patients to talk to and had nice clean sheets.

This is something that worries me. I don't really know what I would do if I had to recover from something like a knee or hip op. When I had flu at the beginning of the year I wasn't well enough to enough do an online food order at the beginning. Thankfully I was able to do it (over a few days) before I totally ran out of food. Thankfully I had enough money on my debit card and we can do that in this country.
It has made me rethink things so I am putting an emergency food box together and trying to think about how I can make things easier. If I know I have to go into hospital I will buy a small fridge and have mild and cold drinks and a kettle near my sofa and hopefully just have to hobble to the loo. I am also trying to save enough so that I can get help in when I need it although it would not be possible for anyone to stay overnight.
It is never as easy when you are on your own (although, lets face it, some partners aren't that much use with illness).
I like the idea of respite care and may look at that at some time so that I am not having to make crisis decisions. There is always a worry when you are on your own that you may end up going into residential care because of problems which are not permanent.

Bijou Make sure you give the place an online review when you leave (as long as you are not likely to be sent back anytime soon).

I am in the same position. I have children but not locally. Getting or should I say, asking for help is hard, I recently turned down back surgery because I knew I wouldn't be able to cope and I am to stubborn to ask for help. What can you do except get on with it. X

Also have had no physio.

Bijou what a horrible situation! Sending you lots of hugs. Can you contact your local PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service)? I would have thought they would be able to address some of your issues at the care home, as you were sent there by the hospital, and it is a continuation of your treatment. Also the CQC needs to know what's going on in the care home.

My very independent mum eventually moved into a sheltered housing complex where you buy your own self contained flat with shared facilities available (laundry room, community room etc.) and support if required. She only moved because her sister was already living there and had been nagging her for ages to go. It was a lovely setting with beautiful grounds and she quickly made many friends and got involved in all sorts of activities. She confided to me once that she wished she’d moved when her sister first suggested it 2 years previously but she’d been worried about losing her freedom. She was very happy there. I’m definitely going to look into something similar when I get older as I’m only early 50’s at the moment.