Bench or Headstone

I'm another one who always says hello to those remembered on memorial benches if I use them.
I hadn't really thought about where I want my ashes scattered until I saw the thread Teetime but rather fancy being flung from the top of Kisdon in the next (Swale) dale up from you!
I'd better let my family know they're in for a bit of a hike when the time comes!

Mine would be near the coastal path at Crawfordsburn, Northern Ireland. My friend and I used to walk about 5 miles there every week. I wouldn't be up to it now, but my friend still does it. She's five years older than me. How did that happen?

when I am gone I want to be free of this life and other people and their memories cluttering the bloody place up.
sorry, but I am a bit here radicalnan

When you're gone you will be free of this life, other people and any benches as they will be left on Planet Earth and you will be elsewhere, presumably scattered around or whatever you decide you want done with your remains.

Emotional baggage; attention seeking.
Odd, isn't it djen, to think that someone is seeking attention after they have died

I would have a bench ...but in my local park... it's nothing extraordinary but it's where I pushed my kids and grandkids on the swings ...watched them tumble of the slide... get dizzy on the round-about... ate our picnic lunches... met their/my friends... gossiped while the kids enjoyed themselves. Yes, that's where I'd put my bench. Watching all the next generation make all the same mistakes with all the same tears and laughter!

Oh and Jalimal108.... ' seeking attention after they've died'.... seek help!

I am having a green burial and you can buy a tree which will be planted in a copse next to the burial field, with an optional plaque on it, which I will not bother with. I have no family in the area so my name will be meaningless to everyone. No memorials are allowed on the actual burial sire because the hay is cut regularly. A peaceful spot in a country village, off the beaten track.

Can i have my ashes planted in my back garden with a tree planted over me?

Then again i fancy a woodland burial with a wicker coffin ....

emmm choices choices...

Well!!! I thought this would be a nice pleasant thread to muse on. there are some lovely ideas here but some really unpleasant comments - you cant stop yourself can you? You know who you are!

If anyone wants to erect a memorial bench for me I hope it's overlooking the sea somewhere.

The thing about headstones is that they can be very useful when researching family history!

The 'attention seeking' is by relatives who think the loss of their dad/ mum/ aunty/ friend is so important that they can inflcit it on the rest of us........it is life.

Nasty radicalnan and just unnecessary attention seeking on your part!

I sat on a bench at Robin Hoods Bay & was very grateful for it! It read:
HOW LUCKY WE ARE TO LIVE BY THE SEA
TO BE HAPPY CONTENTED & FREE.
TO THE CHRONOLOGICALLY GIFTED
LOVE MARK & LUCY

Took a pic I was so taken by it.

My favourite inscription is on a bench in Kew Gardens, which is dedicated (I quote from memory) "to X, who loved this place, and to her husband Y, who didn't."

A place called 'Falls of Bruar' in Scotland would do for me. This is a most beautiful series of cascading waterfalls and I do believe it's mysticism caught me unawares in the romantic arena. 30 good years resulted. Oh yessssss!

We bought an olive tree in memory of my son who died very suddenly on 13th November 2016. We had a beautiful plaque made for it and keep it in our garden. It’s in the greenhouse just now to protect it from frost. We just felt we would like a very private memorial that we could see every day. Also will never be vandalised because it is in our garden. It is in a tub so that we can take it with us if we should ever decide to move. Nothing will bring him back but it is a small comfort.

That’s a lovely idea Coast and olive trees live a very long time.Perhaps in your final house, you could plant it in the garden.

We are all different and whatever you decide to leave' in memory of' is an individual choice. How ever my instructions are for the cash to charities of my choice that will save or make the lives of others bearable.

A bench is my preference though its not in my Will. Overlooking Fowey, or Stratford upon Avon theatre, Crow Park in Keswick. Somwhere where a person needs to sit and contemplate the view.

I would choose a bench overlooking St Ives harbour in Cornwall, people would enjoy the view.
Having said that when my parents died I dedicated a seat in the Royal Liverpool Philharmonic Hall, a lasting memory.

Diddy1
Chance would be a fine thing concerning your request. The gulls of St Ives would have something else in mind for your bench.

TellNo1Ok 'Then again i fancy a woodland burial with a wicker coffin'.
Went off that idea when someone pointed out that wicker creaks when it is being carried.

Katelios, Kefelonia Greek Islands where our bench and ashes will go of both my hub and I

We have a bench for our DS who died suddenly of a heart attack at the University where he had studied and also worked. For the past 10 years we have visited at least twice a year , taken flowers and sat on his Bench with our memories. On the Bench which the University put in place was as well as his name and dates the quiote from Ghandi "Learn as if your were going to live forever, Live as if you were going to die tomorrow" which summed up DS perfectly.

A few weeks ago friend of DS was at theUniversity and saw that all the memorial benches had gone. Bless her she went to the Estate office to find out what had happened, as she didn't want us to visit in December and find the bench gone, she knew we would be devastated. Apparently, they are re-landscaping the area and all the benches are in storage. She also found out that it was unlikely that the benches would go back to their original positions.

DH rang the office, they were very helpful but said that the benches would not be going to the same places and may even not go back at all but the same may be carved onto paving stones they did say that our views would be taken into account and that we are the only relatives to be in touch so far.

I was so upset that I wrote a letter toThe Estate office. One of my reasons for writing is that I feel it is a great shame that they did not even attempt to contact relatives I know that some of the benches commemorate people who have died in the the past 10 years and they may also have relatives who find comfort in visiting.

We do now have a meeting planned at the university and hope that a compromise will be found, otherwise I will have the bench bought home and place it locally

I do think a bench makes a lovely memorial but one needs to be vigilant about its placement.

Lovely Coast, I think I would do the same