Bench or Headstone

On The Gribbin, above Solva Harbour in Pembrokeshire.

I think it's a good idea, and there are lots of other ideas for memorials too such buying a plaque which can contribute towards the running costs or restoration of somewhere you or a loved one liked to go.

Clevedon Pier is a good example of this but I can't open the link

I bought a brick with my husband's name on for the new cancer centre at our hospital. Obviously more than the cost of an ordinary brick!

My husband's bench is at Beamish Museum, which is where we used to go a lot, and still do.
We have even been known to ask people to move so we can sit on it.

Apart from that, we have half an acre of Woodland Trust woodland in his name, as well as various trees all over the place. There are benches there in other people's names that we can sit on, and look at his trees.
One of the Trust sites was voted as one of the best ten in the country for views and walks. We can vouch for that.

There was a photographer who went round photographing these dedicated benches with their lovely views - some of course had lost their original lovely views over time and overlooked a motorway or a Tescos now.

It made a very interesting exhibition, and made one contemplate the passage of time and how things change.

I think I would need several benches to take in all the views I love; but Garway Hill comes out on top. It is in S Herefordshire and has a 360 degree view from the top - and you can see Cardiff Bay on a good day.

I hate memorial benches

A couple of years ago we were staying in Whitby at a hotel on the headland opposite the abbey headland. There was a wide sward of grass that ran round the sea front properties. One evening we decided to have a walk there and far from a relaxed walk we had to thread between endless memorial benches. I started counting and when I got to 67 and realised I was only two thirds of the way round, I freaked out and made a dash for the hotel.

Endless benches in memory of Ron and Jean and Herbert and Hilda and Dorothy and Peter and Mike. None of them mean anything to me and when their families put all those benches there because, Ron, Hilda etc enjoyed the view they ruined it for everybody else.

Benches turn sublime views into suburban parks. A discrete bench on Beachy Head, Dover Cliffs and even Whitby headland. These are already so visited their mystery has gone, but, if you need to sit down at a beauty spot, take a folding chair and when you go home take it with you.

I've told my family that I'd like a bench in the Botanical gardens near us. I love the place and really appreciate the benches already there as I limp round. Some families seem to decorate benches on special days.
Views not spoilt and lots of people glad of a seat.

I know exactly what you mean about benches, M0nica - last year we spent a few days near Bridlington (don't ask!) and there were what felt like miles and miles of these things along the coast.

Personally, I have decided that I don't want any sort of memorial. I would rather that my ashes were scattered in a favourite place, where any family who remember me might take a walk if and when it suits them, and pause for a moment to enjoy the solitude of that place that I loved and perhaps briefly remember me at the same time.
I scattered my dad's ashes in that same place only a few weeks ago, as it was a place he loved too, but was slightly nonplussed (sorry, can't think of exactly the right word, so that one will have to do) to spot a memorial bench very close by. I don't begrudge that person's nearest and dearest their right to remember their own loved-one in the way that felt right to them, but if many more were to appear, the place's magic would be totally lost!

Monica Doesn't everyone need to like to sit down at a beauty spot? Once you get past "late middle age" it takes quite an effort to walk far enough, usually uphill, to see the famed view, and having to stand up while you admire it can mean that the admiration only lasts for five minutes before you have to retreat back to civilisation to recover. Herbert and Hilda and co hjad the right idea, and from the bench the view is not spoilt at all - the seat is all behind you, the view is in front.

I love the benches down at our seafront. They are kept in pristine condition, and are there because its a place a lot of people met, worked, fell in love, or spent their weekends. We had one put there for my mum. She absolutely loved the beach, and the waves, and we had spent many a happy day there for years. Somewhere to sit and look out at the sea, eat our sandwiches, and reflect on happier times.

I'd prefer my family to plant a tree in my memory.

Presumably these nice spots with miles and miles of benches are not in AONB or else families wouldn't get permission to put them there.
So, the views may be pleasant but not outstanding, and perhaps these are places more easily reached by older people who may be grateful of a bench to sit on after a stroll.

It could just be me, but I don't feel comfortable sitting on a bench that is in memory of someone I don't know, and generally avoid doing it for fear of appearing disrespectful!

Lucky old you MOnica that you are so fit and healthy that you don’t need to sit down to appreciate a view or that you could manage to carry a fold up chair with you along with your walking stick and bag. I agree with what Jal said about they wouldn’t be allowed if they spoilt the view. I haven’t got a favourite spot so I’m sure my family wouldn’t think of having one but I love the ones I find when I’m out and have a think about the people named on them and thank their families. I know you didn’t mean to be but your post expressed an unthinking disabilism as it was predicated upon everyone being fit and healthy if they were out for a walk. A few years ago a path was much improved to allow wheelchair/buggy/improved access for people with mobility problems on a local common - oh the fit and healthy people who complained about the ‘eyesore.’

Mama the family put it there to be used

We scattered my father's ashes among trees on his beloved golf course. Then we placed a memorial bench just outside the clubhouse because my DF always complained about having no where to sit when changing his shoes before entering the building. We scattered my Uncle's ashes under an existing unmarked bench at his favourite spot with an extensive and beautiful view out over the estuary. My Mum is scattered on her favourite hill behind our house. These are all much nicer and more evocative places to visit than our recently vandalised local Graveyard.

My husband and I often have a day out in the Kent country side - taking lovely walks with our little dog. I have made it known that when the time comes I would like my ashes spread in that area (we live in London).

MamaCaz although I will sit on a bench placed in memory of someone, I try to never lean back against their name!!

I know that sounds odd but it does make me feel a bit uncomfortable.

and I will usually say 'Thank you Hilda, Howard or whoever for your bench'.

Whenever I sit on a dedicated bench I say hello to whoever it is to and say thank you.
I'm sure local authorities would not allow too many in one place to make the slalom of benches as one person described.

Same here, Jalima, on the odd occasion that I do sit on such a seat. Irrational maybe, but I can't help it!

There is a little love story spelled out by the benches here. The man's one says "where it all began", so I assume the couple met on the beach, and the other (his wife's) quotes some lyrics from 'the wonder of you'. I'm really pleased to be allowed a little window into their lives.

I may be glad of a sit down now and then, but do find that so many in one place is a bit depressing.

That’s benches btw, in case anyone thinks I perch on headstones.