Bench or Headstone

So very sorry Fran.

My youngest child, (who died aged 26 yrs), has a memorial bench in the garden next to The House of Lords. He was very involved in politics and it was his friends and comrades in the Labour Party that helped to raise the money for this bench. Most years, on his birthday, one of the family, at least will try to visit and leave some roses. However, I really do not need any memorial to remember him. He has his own place in my heart.

Yes I like cemeteries. I like reading the headstones and sitting on the benches and thinking about people no longer with us but in a good way. I have always thought I would be quite happy with a house overlooking a cemetery. DH and I have decided we do not wish any kind of memorial other than people thinking well of us and we have written that into our funeral wishes.

He also probably has a more appropriate monument than anyone else I know. He designed a crematorium chapel.
It doesn't have a plaque with his name on, though.

After my husband fell off the ladder and fractured his spine he was on crutches and told to walk every day.
We used to go to the local cemetery, where there were benches to sit on as well as paths to walk along, and squirrels to watch. We used to take our granddaughter with us when she was visiting, and she would try to creep up on the squirrels.

Yes, I do.

Re-reading that sounds a bit morbid, but it really isnt, does anyone else find cemeteries peaceful places to go?

I love the idea of a bench with a view of the sea or the place we often walk, with something nice written on it. I always say hello and thank you to whose ever bench i take a rest on. Its nice when families go to their loved ones particular bench to say hello and have a picnic, or just go sit for a while.

I also enjoy walking and sitting in cemeteries reading the tombstones, and find it peaceful in such places.

I don't understand why many people find death spooky. It happens to us all at some point and if people have had good and longish lives it's beautiful as far as I'm concerned. I like reading the names on benches in particular if there is also an interesting comment. My Dads bench is overlooking a cricket field and says he would love the thought of people watching his favourite game.

I’m so sorry the University has overlooked the depth of feeling, garnet. I wonder, is it worth asking then to either write to other involved people or publish their plans in some way, perhaps via their web site, to give others the chance to comment? I hope,your meeting gives you a he,foul outcome.

Trees can mark the arrival of a grandchild too - mine have a tree each with a certificate.

A bench with a plaque would me so much more useful for everyone.

Thanks for that info Jen, I’m going to look into that.

It`s already been decided that my children will take my ashes to be scattered into the sea at Muasdale, in Kintyre, so that I can join my husband there. I don`t think it would be allowed, but a bench overlooking the beach and sea there would be nice, there aren`t any at the moment, but it is a very small caravan and campsite, so maybe they wouldn`t like it.

Thank you, Jen. Exactly what has been on my mind to check out. I wasn't sure where or how to start.

I think benches are a lovely memorial so useful for everyone to use, but each to our own, what ever we choose..and if it makes us or those left behind happy with the choice ..then

Anyone thinking of getting a tree, they are a reasonable price in the Woodland Trust.

£15 for a single tree, £250 for a quarter acre of woodland.

www.woodlandtrustshop.com/category/106-dedications.aspx

Other sizes are available.

You're not feeling very happy today, are you radicalnan

I hope you feel better tomorrow

I also have his ashes in a cylinder with fields of sunflowers printed on and a sunset in the distance....

I'm all touched, now, biker.

Thank you Teetime for starting this thread - and perhaps a reminder that we should add a 'list of wishes' to our wills.

tyou MissA Sunflowers are poignant to me, as my late dh eyesight was diminishing and Sunflowers were so bold and bright he could see them

we are the only relatives to be in touch so far.
Perhaps no-one else has realised garnet

I think that is terrible - at least they should contact relatives and find out their views on what they intend to do.
I hope you can reach some compromise with them, in fact I hope you can get the benches re-installed as they are part of the history of the university.

Re-landscaping - tosh!

Ours are only about 250 pounds I think. I was surprised, and they are kept in pristine condition too. A tree was about 3 times as much.