Why do I feel guilty?

Know the feeling, I was helped to overcome this by my priest ?

1.can you afford it.

2. Does it fill a need .

3. Tell yourself - I'm worth it.

Good luck.

Maybe its a generational thing? I'm careful with money and somehow feel that it must be saved "just in case". My parents and grandparents were similarly careful. Perhaps wartime thrift had an effect? I don't know. I do get hot under the collar at the younger generation in the family spending money like water on what seem like fripperies to me. Bah humbug!
At least a treat is still a treat to me and not an everyday thing.
A laptop is a necessity these days. Buy a good one.

If you grew up with little money and then had to budget during your marriage it becomes second nature to put yourself last. This stays with you throughout your life.
Anniebach's advice is spot on.

It does stay with you Vampirequeen, I certaintly had to budget bringing up two children on my own, two pairs of sandels was a no no, one could only wear one pair at a time ?.

I'm the opposite and feel no guilt whatsoever!

I know exactly where you are coming from Sunseeker. I used to get that hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach when I spent money on myself and sometimes even a headache! It is getting better these days, but not always.

Those of us who have had to be thrifty find it hard to enjoy spending. I still put myself last thinking that I shouldn't spend anything on myself but eventually talk myself into buying what I really want and don't feel guilty once I have done it.

It has taken me a long time to enjoy spending money on myself sunseeker but I've managed it!

We had no money when I was a child either, while DH's parents were 'comfortable' and he has a much more relaxed attitude to money than I.

Saying that, with 5 children and all the expense that brings, there was not much money around in our lives until recently.

Various sayings spring to mind - there are no pockets in shrouds, you are a long time dead etc, so enjoy treating yourself.

I have been the same - but seem to have managed to put it aside. If there is something I need, I get it - and, TBH, if there is something I fancy, I get it!! Get thee behind me guilt!!!

Gosh i hate spending money, as some gnetters will know my DF gave me money to spend last year and i still havent spent it.

Could I possibly help you grannypiper?

sunseeker, hmm, think both your recent purchases could be described as necessary for the world in which we live, so no need for guilt. I also struggle with this type of thinking but usually with clothes and shoes. still perfectly wearable but I just dont like myself in them any more, or in the case of shoes they hurt. There is a great sense of doom when I send things to a charity shop and go out looking for more. The behaviour Is certainly nurture and I suspect in many of us also nature. No hope for us, is there?

Like grannypiper , as I previously said, I don't like to spend money. I do feel the need to save for a rainy day/just in case sort of thing. Thus I build up savings then feel bad when certain posters on certain posting forum threads complain about people with money! I pay all my taxes. Maybe I should stop being so careful with money. Then I'd feel guilty about wasting it and ending up being a drain on others. Guilt eh? There's just no escape from it!

Luckygirl £££££££££££££s are in your virtual account now .

I don't feel guilty but I do find it difficult to spend after always having to be the sensible one.Now I'm on my own with a reasonable pension and nice lump sum yet I still drive a 14 year old car and rarely replace stuff unless broken. I cannot become a spender!

More so now than that I am retired than when I was working and earning very good money. I would think nothing of sending £100 or twice that on a pair of shoes or a handbag I liked, and now never wear or use. Now I think twice about every penny. One thing we have never argued about is money so why do I feel guilty?

I'm like you, sunseeker. I have to agonise about prospective purchases for ages before I decide to buy anything. I bought a new iPad recently. I probably wouldn't have taken the plunge if DH hadn't been there, and even when I got it home I wouldn't take it out of the box for three days "in case I change my mind"!!! I think it stems from there being periods of our married life when we didn't have a lot of spare cash (or any spare cash). I've never managed to get over being careful, even now that I don't have to be.

Thanks for all the replies - it's nice to know I am not alone. The odd thing is the guilt is only when I spend on things which I think are not essential. Last year I needed to have work done on the house (damp proofing - nightmare!) and felt no guilt about spending such a large sum of money

My 1st husband was the meanest man and would not spend a penny. My 2nd husband spent everything we had and cleaned me out. So, my relationship with money has been mixed to say the least ! So after 2 divorces, I built myself up financially again, being careful and investing wisely. But it was my daughter who spoke to me about letting go now and treating myself, just because I can. She rightly said, life is too short and you can't take it with you !!

I feel huge guilt about buying new clothes or branded food in the supermarket. I never go on holiday even though I could afford it. I get clothes from clothes swaps or friends give me their second hand clothes. I only ever buy supermarket own brand food. I have some savings 'for a rainy day' but never spend them. I think I am a miser but am so afraid of letting go in case I go crazy! I blame it on being poor when I was a child.

I made my Will recently. There is some money that I can't touch in various occupational pension pots and a private one, plus equity in the house and my savings. I am worth far more dead than alive. I won't be walking downstairs in front of my family any time soon ha ha!

I feel better reading this. DGS dropped my beloved iPad on Saturday. It had a Lady of Shallot moment. I dare not tell DH . Why not? I'm planning to buy a new one and don't quite no how to do it with out him knowing. DH hates all things technological and I think is a bit jealous of my love for my iPad- I store all my patterns and recipes on it and follow DD on twitter. I've lost sleep over this and I KNOW it's trivial. I

When I was growing up things were very hard for my parents. My Dad was a hard worker for very little money and My Mam made many sacrifices for us three children. I was the oldest child by quitelephone a few years and when I contributed to the housekeeping things got a bit easier, but I will never forget shopping with Mam when she finally bought herself a brand new coat. She came out of the shop and burst into tears with guilt that she had spent money on herself. That broke my heart. Don't feel guilty about buying things for yourself. I am sure that like my mother you have made sacrifices along the way. Time to spoil yourself when you can

Shalott