Why do we do and say nothing - is it a "British" thing?

Yes, I think interfering would have made matters worse, as it would have made the Father concerned even angrier.
Not a good way for him to behave to a child but maybe normally he isn't as bad and was stressed from a long flight.
Put it out of your mind, as going over it won't help.
The child was probably fine later, airports are stressful places.

Perhaps they had a long flight and the little one had been restless,

It was an awful thing to witness though. Its quite understandable that nannyg1 is upset and also feeling that she should have done something.
Maybe its something that people of our age group (well, Grans) could have done something about? If I'd had the nerve I might have intervened pleasantly and suggested that Dad needed a break from the family and why not go and have a drink while I helped Mum keep an eye on them or something similarly Grannish? I'd most likely tut and move on though. A very hard situation.

I totally sympathise with you Nanny as I m sure I d have been the same but I also think intervening may have made it worse although having said that would it ? It's so hard to know the best way forward. By intervening would it have diverted the attention and anger away from the boy or would he have been even more cruel because he'd been challenged As you say poor little scrap because if he can react like that in public he surely does it in the home The mother should have intervened but maybe she's a beaten woman too a truely horrible scene and I can understand how it's replaying in your mind and it's pointless saying put it out your mind as it's there unfortunately until you can come to terms with it, writing it down will dilute it a bit, as does sharing but until time fades the memory you will feel bad

Even a horrified look is a challenge and I daresay you looked horrified even if you didn't say anything, nannyg, so don't beat yourself up about not challenging. Were there other people around too? Did they look the other way or look uncomfortable? Looking uncomfortable sends the same message as asking someone to stop what they're doing.

I bet the guy felt people's disapproval.

Then again, dealing with a kid's tantrum in public is a nightmare scenario and even parents feel worn out and too tired to cope sometimes.

I know I was disapproved of at a small out of the city Edinburgh Co-op when DD1 had her one and only tantrum as we went round the two aisles. I was neavily pregnant and couldn't think straight with her yelling so I took her outside and fastened her reins to a post then went inside and bought one thing just to show her that having the screaming abdabs in shops was not on. She was not out of my sight for a moment. Actually, I asked her if she wanted to stop her carry-on and come into the shop or carry on shouting and wait outside; she carried on shouting; she had stopped when I returned and she walked home quietly with me. Disapproved of but not wrong. She got the message.

PS She is a fantastic mother herself and my other daughters say she is very like me in her approach to stuff.

Before I had children and learned how difficult it is to have one of them have a tantrum in a public place, I was in Marks and Sarks with a friend and her 3-year old daughter.

This little girl was a very strong-willed child and decided to throw herself on the floor in a right old paddy over some denial of what she wanted. Her Mum calmly said "Right, stay there then" turned her back and walked away, leaving the child in full voice.

I was open-mouthed both is shock that her Mum would do that but also at the behaviour of the little girl. It worked though - she almost immediately stopped her tantrum and ran after her Mum sobbing and needing the hug she then got.

It is difficult not to judge if we witness a "carry on" but perhaps we shouldn't.

Sparks not Sarks

There's a difference between handling a tantrum by walking away and doing what that man was doing to the child.

He was assaulting the child. Would you have stood by if you'd seen an adult being attacked like that? I understand that you might have felt you couldn't directly intervene but there must have been security officers and other officials around that you could report to.

I posted about a similar situation on a bus a few months ago. I too was torn between saying something and fearing that I might make things worse. In this case it was psychological goading - mother telling the child how evil she was and goading and goading until she got her reward of making the child (who had done nothing wrong) cry.

I am not sure whether it is a British thing or whether people in this situation are faced with the dilemma of what to do for the best outcome.

Best not to further enrage a spiteful parent........but the urge to clip his ankle with a heavy suitcase must be irresistable.

I recently took my granddaughter to Italy to see her grandfather. On my return I found my 18 year old grandson had obtained the keys to my house and had invited his friends round for a party unbeknown to any member of the family. His 'guests' all stayed the night and all my beds were used. The upset and destruction was considerable, including ruined windowsills and carpets with cigarette burns. My son, his father, has told me that the matter is between me and my grandson who is refusing to see me. My other son says he cannot say anything because he did a similar thing when he was his age. I feel totally abandoned and upset that my grandson will suffer no consequences for his actions. I feel that my grandson will learn nothing from his actions if he is allowed to just shrug them off!!

I'm sure many of us must have reached the end of our tether when we had small children,no sleep and added stress ,its wrong to judge someone on one incident .Good to know there are so many perfect mums here though,who NEVER lost their patience with their children .Oh to be so perfect...

I always worry about what a person would do to a child in private if they'll do that sort of thing in public. I agree that we all got to the end of our tethers on occasions, but I never assaulted either of my children.

There are usually a lot of police and security around at airports. It is a shame that they didn't say something to him. Ordinary members of the public doing so would only make things worse but people like that are often cowards when dealing with authority.

quee27 - there is no reason why you should not give him hell and send him the bill for the repairs.

Quee27, I would be absolutely furious if a young adult did that in my home, and would tell him he had to pay for the damage that was caused. He is not a child, although he is acting like one by refusing to see you. Don't let him get away with it, he let strangers into your home, and they caused a lot of damage. Insufferable behaviour, and he must not be allowed to get away with it.

Quee27, that's completely unacceptable. I agree with the person who said, 'Send him the bill.' Actions like that cannot be without consequences. It will be very bad for the young man if he is allowed to get away with it.

He's 18 so an adult. However I'm appalled that his father refuses to be involved.
Surely he effectively broke into your house so he could be told that it will be a police matter.
Don't just accept this dreadful treatment.

Children having tantrums is part of everyday life, how you cope can be half the battle. When GD went into meltdown in a garden centre shop I left her on the floor, where she had flung herself, and turned my back and stood there. I could see her out of the corner of my eye and she kept looking up to see if I was paying attention, after a while she got bored and jumped up much to the amusement of a father nearby. The man commented "you've done that before" and laughed.

It is difficult to hold back sometimes. Last flight we had, a 4ish year old was kicking the back of my seat. Mum told him off, but he kept on doing it. Then she and her other half ignored him. After about 10 mins I turned around to him and asked him please to stop. Then the man threw a complete wobbly and started shouting at me for "telling off my child".

I remember your post luckygirl it played on my mind for days. No real advise to offer as I would be upset as well, but knowing my character I think I would have bent down and spoke to the little chap. I know maybe it would make matters worse but at least he would know someone cared or I would have said something to the mother about standing there allowing it to happen. But that's just me nannyg we are all different. Don't beat yourself up there is nothing you could have done it's just upsetting that you witnessed it.

To return to the main post - it's my understanding that any places which are "public" have a duty of care to children (and others). I agree with Vampirequeen - I'd ask airport staff to ensure that security staff intervened, in order to protect the child from assault. There are surely plenty of security staff available in airports, these days.

quee I hope you took photos. Change your locks. Send him a bill for the damage and the locks.
Follow it through with a summons if necessary, you can do it online.