Granimosity

I consider myself very fortunate. DiL1's parents don't live close enough and Granny made it quite clear that she'd done her bit bringing up her own children. We do get along well with them when they visit but I make sure I take a back seat.
DiL2's parents live local and we share full time child minding for 2 children, we work well together and they have become good friends.
I would be quite happy for the other grandparents to have them more than we do. ?

I have 3 daughters and certainly don't have a closer relationship with the gcs than the SiL's parents.
The GPs who live next door to my DD and family are obviously much closer and when I stay, as I am at present for 2 months, I have just about got the relationship going when it's time for me to leave again. These GP's don't exactly help by constantly cuddling and spoiling the children in front of me which obviously endears the little darlings to them (grrrh). One set of GPs I hardly know which suits me fine as under other circumstances, I wouldn't be drawn to them in any way; they have as much contact with our mutual GCs as I do, but the third 'lot' and I get on like a house on fire and I appreciate that they have much more daily contact than I do, helping with childcare etc. I regret not being closer to all my grandchildren, both in miles and relationship, but that's life.......

Wow, it did, didn't it ...

Pistols at dawn.
The other gps have never liked me from the start, they ask to see DGD when they find I have seen her. DD worked out exactly the same time to spend with DGD for both of us but now she is at school I have less time than the other one. She is so strange, wears high heels, lots of make up, trendy clothes and has a husband. I only wear make up you cant see, flat boots I wear leggings or jeans and waterproofs. I cant do 'glamour' no matter how I try. So were very different and I get the impression that the other gran looks down upon me, she is quite well off and I don't earn much, however she drinks like a fish and I look down on her as I don't lke alcohol. I would have loved a granny friend and had imagined the two of us taking the baby for a walk to the park together but it was not to be, DD hates her too as she spoils the little one.
There are just too many differences which causes the rivalry.

Never mind anything else, where are all the Daily Mail haters and slaters ...I mean, Gransnet forums providing fodder for a DM article?! Whatever next.

She is so strange, wears high heels, lots of make up, trendy clothes and has a husband.

Is that really strange? Why shouldn't she wear such things? Lots of Gransnetters have husbands.

All our 6 dgc are the children of our 3 daughters so I think we start at an advantage.

They are all the only grandchildren on the 'other' sides so those grandparents are all a bit more focused on the children. I'm proud of the fact that our daughters are very fair as far as 'sharing out' visits etc.

Although we will never be best friends with the 'others', we rub along quite well when we meet at family occasions.

What is strange about make up/ high heals, and having a Husband. I think your green eyed monster is rearing it's head. Good job your DGD has one glamorous GM, because little girls LOVE glamour.

I wish people would say who they're quoting!

Ah yes. The post in question reminds me of the Two Ronnies sketch. "He looks up to him and he looks down to him..."

And that's three minutes of my life I will never get back.

If I started on my D's in-laws I wouldn't know when to stop. They have zero interest in the GC who are now 16 and13 and now that D and H are separated will never see them again unless my D calls to see them when she visits us,which she has the last couple of times.
Their father flew 3500 miles away to a new life last Friday with his new love and his parents have never once referred to it or asked how the children are.
Bitter moi??

All 4 of my DGC are my 2 DDs so I do think I have the edge because the girls automatically turn to their Mum.

Lucky for us both other sets of GPs don't want to babysit, or have sleepovers with the relevant DGC . They don't seem to care and despite all living very close unless my DD and SIL take the children they don't see them.

I think that's sad for my DGC and my SILs .

On the the other hand I can overdose on the little ones as much as I like

It would be quite funy if this thread turned into an all out row and had to be deleted. All because of what Cari said to the Daily Mail.

Shall we try?

I'm never going to beat "supergran" to the podium, so I don't even try.

Why would it turn into a row? And what would be so funny about that? You have lost me with that thought.

I think what's a bit sad, is the fact that mothers of daughters feel they have an advantage. I love my DS and my DGC more than words can possibly say and I want to see them just as much as "supergran". My DS has had to explain that to my DIL, who felt it natural that Christmas etc., should always be spent with her mother.

My DiL's parents are delightful people who have been very kind to me and - what I am most grateful for - they have taken my senior GD as a step GD (ie she is my DS's DD by a former relationship) and treated her as one of their family. GM, a lovely person is having terrible health problems ATM and I'm so sad for them. DS2's partner's mum lives much further away so I don't know her so well. But she is also a kindly person and she too is quite poorly. None of us lives close enough to the GC to be helpful with child care - there can be no rivalry on that score!

I think you answered your own question Polly your DiL feels much closer to her own mother. It is not her M,'s expectation ,it is her choice.

Dear merlotgran, Sympathy. The other granny doesn't "get" me and I makes comments about clothes I make for the grandkids. She winds me up, but when I feel myself getting mad I remind myself how awful she looks with gone- south bust. Wouldn't dream of telling her to get a decent bra & hair cut though! Bitchy, moi??

I'm the paternal Granny . My son and his wife met at sixth form college so we were both local families. That was twenty years ago and we've become one family. In fact the other Granny and I get together socially.

Main issue with my co grandparents is that I have always worked, even when my children were little ( I worked in a Day Nursery until they were both in Infant/Junior School) and my children grew up with that idea. My daughter and ex son in law were both in the same job but my daughter went for every chance for promotion that came along whilst my ex son in law was happy to stay as he was. His parents (especially his Mum) thought she should give up her career and stay at home once the grandkiddies started to arrive whilst I was happy and willing to help out with childcare as and when they needed it to help my daughter continue with her career (I was still working full time at this stage so it took quite a bit of juggling at times). I don't think it has helped that I am a decade younger than they are and also have been widowed for almost 18 years so am quite independent (have been accused of behaving like a teenager which I find quite amusing!). I tend to ignore their comments as I enjoy the relationship I have with my grandkiddies and, if they are happy that is all that matters to me.

We live an hour and a half from DS2 and family and a bit further from DS1 and his family. DS2 lives in the same village as his inlaws and they collect GCs from school each day, so have a much more hands on relationship than we are able to.

DS1s in laws live further away than we do, but being the parents of DiL1, still get to see more of GS1.

We never get to spend Christmas with them (or they with us) though they all make an effort to see us very close to Christmas. It still feels unfair but it's something we've had to get used to.

As the mother of sons, it does seem that the DiLs parents get a bigger look in. The DSs seem to just 'go with the flow'.

At first this was very hard to come to terms with. No animosity between us as GPs as such, they're all lovely people. Just that we seem to have to take a back seat...

Tiggypiro, re your language problems, as b&b owners, the OH and I sometimes find our guests speak little or no English. To my amazement, I found him conversing with someone in Spanish via his iPhone. He spoke in English and the gadget translated into Spanish, and vice versa. I thought it might be something you could investigate? Modern science, eh!

Annsixty it wasn't a question my dear, it was an observation and I'm not talking about being close! Of course everyone will always be close to their own mother, well nearly everyone.

I'm just as "close" to my DS as his wife is to her mum, and my DGC mean just as much to me as the other granny.

I was very fair when mine were growing up. We shared times equally with both sets of grandparents. The very idea that Christmas and birthdays etc., should be spent purely with the wife's mother is very sad. Luckily, my DS agreed with me and put his foot down over this issue.

I've got a feeling I might have lost you long ago annsixty

#anotherworld