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The generic DH

(100 Posts)
Anya Sat 11-Jul-15 15:56:16

Managed to lose DH in Tesco the other day.

Truth be told I sent him on a mission to buy himself some new socks as he's a bit of a nuisance in supermarkets and keeps trying to add things he would like to eat to the trolley shock but I'm straying from the point.

Could I find him again? Suddenly there was a plethora of grey haired men, with neatly trimmed grey beards, medium height, medium build, wearing kharki shorts and short-sleeved blue shirts. They were down nearly every aisle (several in the alcohol section), one at the cake counter and another at the deli counter and two at checkouts. I could have taken any one of them home and not noticed the difference for days.

Luckily (?) DH suddenly appeared behind me just as I thought I was suffering from some kind of Doppelgänger Syndrome and announced he'd been 'looking for me everywhere' hmm

Mamie Sun 12-Jul-15 13:56:06

We are pretty self-sufficient in veg all year round and fruit in the summer and we give a lot away to family and neighbours. It does feel a bit like a food factory sometimes....

Eloethan Sun 12-Jul-15 18:01:23

Anya Why shouldn't your husband put things he likes to eat into the trolley?

pompa Sun 12-Jul-15 18:05:36

Exactly Elothan, I often sneak goodies (magnums for example) into our trolley. Now putting goodies into other peoples trolleys, that's much more fun. wink

NfkDumpling Sun 12-Jul-15 18:33:25

DH stopped wearing a suit and shaving when he retired so perhaps it's a generational retirement thing. He too has grey hair - what there is of it - but isn't blessed height wise and I'm always loosing him. He just won't stay put. He does occasionally carry his mobile phone but only switches it on when he wants to make a call - and then promptly turns it off again.

We rarely shop together.

Nice to know I'm not alone.

NfkDumpling Sun 12-Jul-15 18:35:32

(I don't do supermarket shopping -he does. He does the cooking, so he does the shopping. You should try it Pompa!)

grumppa Sun 12-Jul-15 18:40:17

Magnums of what, pompa? The ice creams would melt.

Pittcity, the proper menswear as a BBQ guest on a hot summer's day is surely a cream linen suit - but certainly anything to keep the legs out of sight. I don't much like the look of mine, and certainly wouldn't inflict the spectacle on others.

It's not the greyness of my beard I like, Anya, it's the beard itself. I preferred it when it was black, but there is no fighting time's winged chariot.

janerowena Sun 12-Jul-15 22:14:07

I am surprised, I don't know many men with beards. I know the youngsters went through a phase of it recently.

DBH is easily recognisable, being tall, dark and very slim. It's MiL who is a clone. She is short, stocky, grey hair cropped very short, quite mannishly. She wears unflattering 3/4 loose trousers and birkenstocks, usually with a blue checked shirt or a polo shirt. On any day out, I lose her several times because she is suddenly everywhere, particularly if it rains and the navy short hooded waterproof jacket comes out. I pray I don't turn into her one day. I have to shout her name and hope that one of the Clones turns to look at me.

Ana Sun 12-Jul-15 22:36:51

janerowena! grin

Anya Sun 12-Jul-15 22:54:59

Eloethan it was a joke....confused

Anya Sun 12-Jul-15 22:57:33

Jane you're saying that all she lacks is the beard???

janerowena Sun 12-Jul-15 23:40:37

Yup.

Please God don't ever let her read this!

janerowena Sun 12-Jul-15 23:42:25

I can even post a photo as proof... I have had a glass of red wine, I could plead drunk and disorderly... No, I daren't! The only thing that gives her away is that she wears earrings.

Katek Sun 12-Jul-15 23:43:19

It's little beige - what I would call jerkins - that puzzle DH and I. It seems quite a fashion trend amongst gentlemen of a certain vintage along with a Tattershall checked shirt and tie. DH wants to know when the urge will come upon him to go and buy one of these little jackets. Is it some mysterious rite of passage?

Katek Sun 12-Jul-15 23:45:17

Hahahahaha JaneR!! Am crying!

janerowena Sun 12-Jul-15 23:47:48

She has one of those little sleeveless jackets, too!

Katek Sun 12-Jul-15 23:50:09

Beige gabardine with breast pockets??

Anya Mon 13-Jul-15 07:09:57

Jane grin ...the only thing that gives her away..!!!'

Mamie Mon 13-Jul-15 07:54:38

My DH always wears one of those jerkin / gilet things. Comes from when he was travelling the world on business and the pockets could contain passport, tickets, wallet, book, phone etc etc etc. Now more likely to contain equipment for foraging on country walks. grin
The best ones have a "poacher's pocket" right across the back for larger items. Sadly the pure cotton Thomas Cook ones from Australia don't seem to exist anymore.
We are for ever on the search for a substitute!

janerowena Mon 13-Jul-15 23:24:13

She is a bit shapeless Anya grin Rings, I forgot she wears rings.

Yes, padded beige gilet with lots of pockets. I have tried, lord knows I have tried, but she doesn't care and really, why should she? FiL still loves her dearly. I quite admire her determination to be comfortable at all costs, and it made me realise that men are allowed to, we don't feel that we are though. I was looking through my photos, but there are none that are safe to put on here, and in several the pair of them are wearing identical clothes. That alone fills me with horror!

Anya Tue 14-Jul-15 13:38:00

I thought 'identically dressed couple' syndrome had managed to be successfully quarantined confined only to the Lake Distruct and small pockets of Derbyshire and Snowdonia?

And sometimes the Edinburgh Woollen Mill.

Don't tell me there are outbreaks in other parts of the country Jane? shock

jimorourke Tue 14-Jul-15 15:43:48

My DW used to entice me to look at lingerie then she would sneak away just to see my embarrassment and panic at being left alone amid all the bras and ladies knickers. That's one reason I refuse to get involved in browsing in shops .

Anya Tue 14-Jul-15 16:34:35

Thank you for sharing Jim

Are you new or do we know you already?

Stansgran Tue 14-Jul-15 16:53:03

DH doesn't approve of me going shopping as I buy thingsconfused. Evidently I am an extravagant and frivolous. In fact I buy all the things that he doesn't see the need for/ can't find and can't be bothered to ask.some weeks his refusal adds up to £30-40 Of shopping though I do include ice creams and chocolate ginger.

TriciaF Tue 14-Jul-15 17:30:36

Well those of you whose husbands have neatly trimmed beards, count yourselves lucky. Mine has a long shaggy beard and long hair too (usually tied back.)
I've threatened him many times that I will "do a Delilah" - he'll wake up one morning sans barbe etc grin if only!
I don't know why he grows it, he's very handsome without it. Part of his hermit image.
He loves to come shopping and tidies up for that. I usually recognise him easily, though there are a few other hermit/ hippy type men around here.

janerowena Tue 14-Jul-15 19:09:43

Anya sadly mine get around all over the place, maybe it was them you saw everywhere? The last photo I have of them dressed identically has them peering around standing stones in Northumberland, wearing fishermen's jerseys bought on Barra, and sunglasses bought in the USA.