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The generic DH

(100 Posts)
Anya Sat 11-Jul-15 15:56:16

Managed to lose DH in Tesco the other day.

Truth be told I sent him on a mission to buy himself some new socks as he's a bit of a nuisance in supermarkets and keeps trying to add things he would like to eat to the trolley shock but I'm straying from the point.

Could I find him again? Suddenly there was a plethora of grey haired men, with neatly trimmed grey beards, medium height, medium build, wearing kharki shorts and short-sleeved blue shirts. They were down nearly every aisle (several in the alcohol section), one at the cake counter and another at the deli counter and two at checkouts. I could have taken any one of them home and not noticed the difference for days.

Luckily (?) DH suddenly appeared behind me just as I thought I was suffering from some kind of Doppelgänger Syndrome and announced he'd been 'looking for me everywhere' hmm

grumppa Sat 11-Jul-15 18:56:20

I have detested Sainsbury since the days when you had to queue separately and pay separately for each category of item. I have Lidled twice, out of curiosity, but am not in an Aldi/Lidl area. M&S food occasionally, but not convenient.

annsixty Sat 11-Jul-15 19:36:49

The make of car in Aldi car parks now has gone way up in the social scale. No bangers at all and top of the range in most makes.

Meercat Sat 11-Jul-15 19:39:29

Loving this thread. DH's and shopping.

I have the opposite situation with mine as he likes to control the trolley. That leaves me free to flit about looking at things and he can get very grumpy because he can't find megrin

Anya Sat 11-Jul-15 20:02:00

Mine once hung back with the trolley and I didn't notice, so I continued shopping and putting things in the nearest one, much to tne amusement of the young man pushing it.

Katek Sat 11-Jul-15 20:53:18

Another neatly trimmed grey beard DH here, also in shorts and usually s/s checked shirt. He disappears without trace and never turns volume up on his phone so that's useless. I have walked miles trying to find him but now we just carry two sets of car keys and I go and wait in the car. He will eventually appear with his latest bargain-last week it was a set of 4 telephones which are two too many for our house!

Do you think they're being cloned?

Deedaa Sat 11-Jul-15 21:33:59

DH, DS and SiL are all 6' 4" and you'd think they'd be easy enough to spot in a crowd. But I've lost them all so many times.

rosesarered Sat 11-Jul-15 21:55:14

You need to make your DH's wear something distinctive when shopping, perhaps a Santa hat ( though only in Dec.) in Summer a yellow baseball hat etc.
failing that, insist they shave off those beards.

Katek Sat 11-Jul-15 22:06:05

Mine has a very distinctive walk-colleagues have described him as walking like a gun slinger-but even that merges into the middle distance in the fruit and veg aisle.

annodomini Sat 11-Jul-15 22:13:11

I thought I could spot DS1 easily because, when he started to go thin on top, he started shaving his head. Oh yes, every man I could see in Tesco was bald!

Marelli Sun 12-Jul-15 00:19:36

Mine is often to be found staring vacantly into space with the trolley at an angle. This is because he's eavesdropping into other shoppers' conversations. shock

ninathenana Sun 12-Jul-15 07:47:15

Socks and sandals or even trainers with long socks and shorts <aghrunsscreamingfromtheroom>

Anya Sun 12-Jul-15 07:51:45

I like the idea of something distinctive Roses perhaps a Panama hat would complete the outfit? Or a pith helmet?

kittylester Sun 12-Jul-15 08:10:28

Another DH with a neatly trimmed grey beard here too but I never, ever take him shopping.

When mum was in the early stages of Alzheimer's I lost her in M&S and whilst looking for her I bumped into a friend who said she'd help. We started to panic when we realised just how many 'little old ladies' there were wearing beige trousers and pink jackets!

Anya Sun 12-Jul-15 08:11:26

grin

Nelliemoser Sun 12-Jul-15 08:27:03

Ninathenana Yes I have one of those. Embarrassing.

Ah! The older ladies in beige jackets. There is blue beige, pink beige, green beige, beige beige, and I think I have seen yellow beige as well.
I hope I will never wear such colours.

Greyduster Sun 12-Jul-15 09:34:58

I have never known anyone with the capacity my DH has for vanishing into thin air as soon as we set foot in a supermarket. I think he is abducted by aliens as soon as we set foot through the door and they don't drop him off again until I'm just coming to the checkout (which is probably about as long as the aliens would put up with him!). I am frequently in the embarrassing position, being vertically challenged, of asking tall strangers to reach things down off high shelves for me.

Pittcity Sun 12-Jul-15 09:52:04

At a bbq yesterday majority of men of all ages were wearing those baggy khaki shorts with many full pockets. Is there any alternative male Summer attire?

Teetime Sun 12-Jul-15 10:27:48

mamie me too I have no idea what's under my husbands beard. He has promised for years he will shave it off so I can see and then immediately grow it back but has never done it. It used t be so lovely - jet black, shiny and soft when he was a hippy now its badger and prickly. He does wear blue shirts but never shorts in public unless at the beach or a pool and he has the most elegant, long legs. I can always see him as he is taller than most. I usually send him off so I can do some shopping without falling over him every time I turn round. He does the opposite - takes things out of the trolley, taking temptation out of my way - doesn't work.

Anya Sun 12-Jul-15 11:16:02

Pittcity that's the shorts I'm talking about. It's almost a uniform.

There was even one of these genetic men on the common at 6.00am when I walked the dog. He beard was a bit straggly and he was wearing desert boots so I think it might be Mr Mamie ??

Greyduster I find it quite enjoyable asking tall fit strangers to reach things down of top shelves for me.

Mamie Sun 12-Jul-15 12:46:01

Don't think so Anya, he spent three hours deep cleaning the kitchen this morning....
It is quite funny here in the run-up to Christmas. Small French children always point at him and say, "C'est Père Noël". In the entrance to the shopping mall even Père Noël pointed at him and said c'est Père Noël. hmm

Anya Sun 12-Jul-15 12:52:00

Perhaps that's why they like their grey beards - they all have a memory of a kindly, cuddly, bearded man from that faraway time of their life when everything was simple and revolved around food, play and sleep?

rosesarered Sun 12-Jul-15 12:56:22

Mamie, was that a joke? the deep cleaning if the kitchen? this is a man we are talking about?

rosesarered Sun 12-Jul-15 12:56:56

Of the kitchen! Anyone else hate their iPad?

Mamie Sun 12-Jul-15 13:40:48

No, not a joke roses. he cooks, cleans, gardens, shops, harvests, freezes and makes preserves. He was a bit concerned that we were running low on stock this morning, so will now get out all the chicken carcasses, make large quantities of stock and then reduce it to freeze in ice-cube trays.
grin

rosesarered Sun 12-Jul-15 13:51:39

Do you run an eaterie Mamie? or just your own needs?