The generic DH

I have wasted more of my life than I care to recall waiting for DH to re-appear when we go out shopping. On the rare occasion that he accompanies me to the supermarket he just wanders off in the direction of the DVDs/ electronic equipment and it's left to me to find him when I've finished the shopping. As others have said, no point ringing his mobile, as that's always sitting at home on the kitchen windowsill!
He's even worse if I ever take him with me clothes shopping, as there's nothing of interest to him there he hovers an inch behind my shoulder, frequently getting in the way until I get fed up and walk out.
Could be worse though, I was in Wilko's once and overheard a man telling his wife why she should buy one brand of sanitary towel rather than another! EeeK!

I avoid shopping with mine as far as possible.
Mine has glasses and short white hair (he shed the beard years ago.)
Socks and sandals.

My OHs phone is also usually abandoned on the kitchen windowsill ??? Or he does not check it's on when it might be needed.

"On special Offer" is OHs downfall. He has not learnt that it is not always economical. I have to discourage him from buying large quantities of perishable foods. Such as, several large bags of bread flour (we use it but not that fast,)
A large tin of golden syrup which I use once in a blue moon (it went rusty.) Tins and jars of coffee we don't often drink and much more.

We have three nonslip Bath mats up in the loft.??
He once bought 5 fleecy snoods from walking shops because he just lost his own and they were cheaper that way??
He also buys far too many books and cds in charity shops but never does much reading as he is glued to his computer.

The classic wandering off without saying where he is going.
Shopping alone is so much easier.

Nellie I have that tin of golden syrup too and a matching one of black treacle

The next generation of generic OHs is coming on nicely. DS2 is also transfixed by special offers. He and his partner both work for the same company and have good discounts. Staying with them some months ago, I was puzzled at the huge quantity of washing powder in the utility room cupboard - 'Well, Mum, it was on offer!' Their fridge is invariably full of more stuff than they can consume before it outlives its use-by date. I refrain from comment.

Well, mine wasn't wandering very far or very fast today. Having had surgery for a hernia on Thursday, he is walking very slowly, with a stick, so as he insisted on coming shopping with me this morning, I thought at least if he did wander off, he wouldn't wander very far. Not so! He still managed to disappear and, being serially worried about him overdoing it, I kept having to leave off what I was doing and go and make sure he hadn't keeled over somewhere! When he spotted me looking for him he waved his stick in the air! By the time we got to the checkout, the whole exercise had taken twice as long as it normally does. It cured his cabin fever for a bit.

Shop without DH, much quicker, calmer, cheaper, better all round

Loved your chat here, every Saturday - well almost , its tesco about 10am ; he pushes trolley as he has painful knee, so he lols on trolley, we have to go his way round and as fast as we can, he hates lingering ! Unless he meets old friend -then he chats for ages while I do shopping, my deafness rather prevents me joining in! But if I make a detour he says I will wait for you!
Though frequently I can't find find him...then I walk around every isle, find him waiting ..at the end of an isle but out of sight ! Against the counter . maybe tesco and other super markets should have a lost sign to stand under ! Lol

If I lose mine, I just head for the wine and beer. He has half the list, I have the other half and he does his half in record time - but the beer and wine can take half an hour!

Maybe supermarkets could hire out electronic tagging devices so that our errant DHs could easily be tracked down when they disappear, thus saving the endless games of hide and seek up and down the aisles?

Yes, like that gizmo they had in the US to keep track of your children - 'The Little Bugger'!

(Our version could be called 'The Old Bugger' )

Or a soft play area?

A local pub offers a husband creche every Saturday. They have a variety of activities to keep the men occupied e.g. TV set to a sports channel, darts, pool table etc. There is no charge for the activities but you have to pay for any food and/or drink he consumes.

I've tried to leave mine in one of those, but he won't stay there!

I lost DH again today in Lakeland - and it's not even a very big Lakeland either. One of those overly cheerful ever-helpful assistants they have asked if I was looking for something? I asked if they sold husband-locating devices but she simply smiled weakly and beat a hasty retreat.

I found him outside listening to a busker

I once ended up in tears in Cornwall - I went to the loo and when I came out, he had disappeared. I went down to the car, came back. Down to the beach - not there. I had walked for half an hour in baking heat, and in despair went BEHIND the loos down a little alleyway to gaze at the sea and have a think - and there he was. Let's just say it wasn't the most amicable lunch we have ever had.

Who was it (here on GN?) who once left their husband behind (in the DH Crèche place) at the Windermere Lakeland and drove all the way home before she realised?
I am sure that is not an urban myth!

Alea it does sound familiar [thinking emoticon]

Jane your horrible experiences emphasises the need to be In Possession of The Car Keys in such situations. At least them we can either:-

Wait in the car listening to Smooth Radio Radio 4

or

Drive home (as per Alea's mystery GNetter) and leave the stupid old git DH to get in touch via the mobile phone he's probably left on the kitchen table

I never lose DH in Lakeland, in fact we were there just yesterday in Witney, and he follows me around grimly( the song, I'm made out of glue, I'm sticking to you, comes to mind) all in case I go mad and buy lots of things,( which has been known.)

In the event I just bought one of those brown silicone type sheets that you can cook biscuits/ chips etc on and is fantastically nonstick,they are now £5.99 have gone up since last year.

Anya I did once deliberately drive away and leave Ex stranded in the back of beyond. He had been banned - after numerous offences - and had the nerve to criticise MY driving (I had committed the cardinal sin of pulling over into a hedge to let someone else by) rather forcefully, so I plotted my revenge all the way to the GC - sorry, in my world this means garden centre - high on the Kent Downs. He got out while I pretended to be searching for my bag - as he turned his back I drove off.

He never did it again.

I wish I had never gone back for him!

roses is that a very supple rollable one? I have found mine indispensable for making GF pastry, I can not only make all kinds of biscuits on it and they don't stick, I can also make a pastry lid for pies (I was forced to make one today for DBH&Son) and put it over the top of the pie and just drop off the sad excuse for pastry that I now have to use.

Respect Jane

The only time I actually left DH stranded was when I forgot I'd taken him with me.

Yes Jane, that's the one , they usually last me for a year and are indispensable for almost anything cooked/baked in the oven.

They are brilliant, I always have two on the go as I do so much baking.