Gransnet forums

Chat

Rudeness/bad manners

(31 Posts)
grannyactivist Mon 22-Jun-15 13:40:29

I offer free English lessons to people who mostly work locally in low-paid jobs in the hospitality or retail industry. My students are of all ages and from all sorts of backgrounds - and are usually very appreciative and hard-working.
I got an enquiry a few days ago from the owner of a local restaurant who was phoning on behalf of his wife and we made an appointment for him to bring her along today to meet me and fill out the forms. Fifteen minutes after they were due to arrive I called to ask where they were. They hadn't forgotten, he simply said it wasn't convenient for him today - I told him that although the lessons are free my time is not cheap and that I object to him wasting it, at which point he became embarrassed and finally said a reluctant 'sorry'.

I think he was just plain rude and I am still feeling cross even after doing a great amount of cleaning!! (It's what I do when I'm bothered.)

What bad manners make you seethe?

Teetime Mon 22-Jun-15 13:49:40

Yes that was rather rude and I would be cross too. What drives me mad and seems to be so prevalent now is when I'm having a conversation with someone another person comes along and cuts right through what I'm saying or indeed the other person is saying. As this happens more often that nt at the golf club I shall put it down to the general strangeness of golfers. When it happens I say in a loud voice 'AS I WAS SAYING' - water off a ducks back usually. wink

GillT57 Mon 22-Jun-15 13:51:29

Bad manners make me angry too, I cant tell you how many people have failed to turn up for interviews despite being enthusiastic and interested on the phone when I am advertising a job here. I had one no show last Thursday, I called her an hour after she had failed to turn up, just to check that we both had the same time, no reply and no call back until today when she left a message to apologise and to ask if the job was still available. angry no.

J52 Mon 22-Jun-15 14:11:01

Bad manners in the extreme! This has recently happened to me on two occasions when house viewers have not turned up!

Grannyactivist, I'd done the cleaning first! The upside is a lovely clean house. x

jollyg Mon 22-Jun-15 14:14:06

This site is full of ill mannered posters.

What comes to my mind is the coven of witches in Macbeth. They do congregate here without any moderation.

But is that what this site is about?

Having reached a certain age surely a bit of mature discussion might be allowed.

soontobe Mon 22-Jun-15 14:17:07

I know someone who is always late. Always. And she breezes in to a metting or whatever, as if being late is the most normal thing in the world to be.

whenim64 Mon 22-Jun-15 14:22:14

People who don't bother to let me know a gift has arrived safely when I have to send it via post or through a relative. I'm beginning to lose count of the number of carefully chosen presents for their new babies, or Christmas/milestone presents to distant friends or family who are too far away for me to be able to visit personally. It was an unexpected surprise to receive a thankyou card with photo from a new mum who is related by marriage to my brother - he had already let me know how pleased she was with the baby gift.

Marelli Mon 22-Jun-15 14:24:56

One of my friends cuts in when I'm talking and carries on speaking right to the end of what she wants to say! I've tried continuing my conversation, but it all becomes so garbled that I give up in the end. Her DH is worse, as he starts whistling when other people are talking..... shock!

Nelliemoser Mon 22-Jun-15 14:27:45

JollyG In three years I have not noticed "This site is full of ill mannered posters." Where did you get that idea?

There are some robust discussions on here that get heated and some people do seem to think it's rude to challenge the opinions of others in a discussion.

If nobody ever robustly challenged other's views we would not have an effective Parliament or good television and radio journalists. They have to be tough to try and get a sensible answer out of many evasive politicians or corrupt official.
Gn occaisionally gets quite bitter.
Your post is not exactly polite in that it accuses others of being rude.
What have you been looking at on GN??

sunseeker Mon 22-Jun-15 14:33:59

I was once shopping with a friend when we decided to go into different shops and meet up again in 15 minutes. I arrived at the place we had arranged to meet and waited for 20 minutes, searched the shop she had gone into, no sign of her. Eventually I rang her mobile only to find that she was on her way home as she had forgotten she had to do something shock No I don't see her any more!!!

ninathenana Mon 22-Jun-15 14:44:02

I agreed with Nellie last post.
I get annoyed with ignorant other drivers. The idiot this morning who manoeuvred his car so he could pull up next to me facing the way and call me a efing stupid b*&tch. who should look where I'm going cos I'd nearly hit him. My reply..'I was looking where I was going, otherwise I would have hit you' said with my best smile

GillT57 Mon 22-Jun-15 14:50:28

jollyg I think it bad mannered and rude when people make sweeping ill founded statements.

TerriBull Mon 22-Jun-15 14:50:35

People who don't acknowledge when you have pulled over and given way to them and drive straight on without any acknowledgement. Similarly, holding doors open for mothers' with prams, something I always do because I remember being grateful when people did that for me. 95% of them will say thank you, but I did this once for a young mother who waltzed through without saying anything, which prompted me to say "I believe thank you is the word you may have been searching for" to which she arrogantly replied "I don't have to thank you" me "I don't have to hold the door open for you" Perhaps she was having a bad day, who knows hmm

Also don't like people who try and purloin a sales assistant when you are already engaged at the till with them, this really annoys me, particularly when they break off serving you and try and sort out other person's request.

In supermarkets people who pile up the counter with their goods and then do a walk about looking for other groceries, not the mad dash for a forgotten item we have all done that I'm sure. On one occasion this happened to me, couldn't see hide nor hair of the customer, cashier beckoned me forward halfway through my transaction customer returns outraged at me for jumping in, I pointed out if we all shopped in that manner it would cause chaos, and also stated that personally I don't queue behind goods only people!

Elegran Mon 22-Jun-15 15:00:12

There are indeed one or two bad-mannered people on here, jollyg You might see one of them if your computer camera is switched on.

kittylester Mon 22-Jun-15 15:01:14

I agree with Nellie too! smile

I also agree with GA, if you still feel bad after doing the cleaning they must have really upset you! DH says he gets worried when I start jiffing the kitchen sink!

Drivers who don't acknowledge really irritate me. I'm regularly heard saying things like 'ANY time, madame!' angry

grannyactivist Mon 22-Jun-15 15:06:44

I've calmed down now, but I think that what made me cross is that I offer free English Language lessons and so very occasionally people think that my time must be cheap. In fact I am hugely busy and I don't have a lot of free time on my hands so for people to abuse the situation is very frustrating. Fortunately the vast majority of my students work very hard and would never dream of wasting my time - and most of them are lovely thoughtful people.

NfkDumpling Mon 22-Jun-15 15:59:58

Perhaps you should make a small charge GA? You could always let off the ones who really can't afford it and it may make the ones who take you for granted more appreciative. (Not a PC question but could it have been a cultural thing? That a woman's time is less important and more flexible?)

NfkDumpling Mon 22-Jun-15 16:01:34

(My DH knows I'm really upset when he sees me lugging the Hoover upstairs)

Lona Mon 22-Jun-15 16:22:48

jollyg I think your sweeping statement was very ill mannered. The majority of members who post regularly on here are IMO extremely well mannered and very kind.

loopylou Mon 22-Jun-15 16:32:27

Very confused jollyg and somewhat annoyed at such a false generalisation.
Totally uncalled for in my opinion calling GNs witches, what on earth is that about?

annodomini Mon 22-Jun-15 17:24:29

I've been on this site for four years - almost from the start - and I wouldn't have stayed here if it had indeed been full of rude people.

ninathenana Mon 22-Jun-15 17:34:55

Elegrans post at 15.00 had me in fits grin

Soutra Mon 22-Jun-15 17:39:20

Well, jollyG have you really found all the posters on this site so ill- mannered? I'm surprised you bothered to hang around considering how ill-mannered the witches posters seem to be.
But I suppose you felt "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" hence your own extremely rude and ill-mannered sweeping generalisation. hmm

KatyK Mon 22-Jun-15 17:51:03

Thank you for saying 'the strangeness of golfers' Teetime grin I am sure there are one or two who are and many that are not. I have a real issue with someone who has been very rude to me and my DH, in fact when in her company, although she knows us (as acquaintances), never speaks to either of us and if we speak to her she doesn't want to know for some reason. She spends all her time telling anyone who will listen (apart from us obviously) that she is a member of the golf club. My DH, who never usually comments on anyone and takes no notice, said to me 'that woman has a superior attitude'. The older I get the less patience I have with people like this.

HappyNan1 Mon 22-Jun-15 18:10:59

I liked your response ninathenana. My DD came up with a good one, to ask, "I'm sorry, did you mean to be so rude?" Haven't had a chance to use it yet.