It's time to stop pandering

I hate to break it to you David49 but children are still expected to do as they are told at school and I don't get the impression that schools have given up on giving children the opportunity of education.

The punishments can be detentions, internal exclusion, which involves being isolated in individual booths facing the wall and exclusion from school.

I am not dismissing the new report, and I have not read it, but I did hear the interview with the author and couldn't help feeling that he had got things the wrong way round and that if children have been brought up to be 'snowflakes' then it is highly likely that they will have more mental health problems than children brought up to be resilient and deal with most of life's problems.

The authors argument seemed to be that because they had mental health problems therefore they are not snowflakes.
I was also surprised that the increase in partnership and marriage breakdown that introduces insecurities and disruption in to so many young people's lives these days plays a part in their mental heath problems

The job and economic prospects of the 1980s were far worse than they are today. 3 million unemployed, over 10%, Factories and industrial plants were shutting down daily. Families where the parents had always worked suddenly both were out of work, with no prospect of finding work just as their children were leaving school.

DH was made redundant and my job was shaky. Our 14 year old daughter was in total despair, She could see absolutely no future for herself at all and came very very close to being a school drop out, leaving without GCSEs. It took many evenings of talking deep into the night to get her stay at school and do her exams. We then had to go through the same again to get her to do A levels. Come the 1990s, things began to pick up and she has since done very well in good career. One that did not even exist when she was at school.

Things are not as bad now as they were then, but I think things will change, they always do.

I can't believe people are calling kids who are being bullied "Weak and Spineless". Do you not listen to the news and see that because of the couldn't care less attitude some young people are committing suicide.
Have a word with yourself before you write such toxic remarks for goodness sake

AweSum72

Honestly Im not surprised tho there seems to be an acronym for everything these days.
I hated School but could never get a 'sickie' as my mom was a nurse and had a thermometer...booo

Obviously you have no knowledge of this problem.
What I will tell you is: it’s got bugger all to do with a thermometer.

My granddaughter gradually became more and more unhappy about attending school until eventually she refused all together. You can’t physically drag a sobbing 14 year old out of bed and force them into clothes. The school were absolutely useless and basically told her mother to just push her out of the car at the school gates and drive away. They eventually managed to get her some home tutors and she passed enough GCSEs to get into college. The college were amazing and provided her with an ‘escape room’ and staff that she could actually talk to. She passed her course with flying colours and started university yesterday. This was after missing school for 18 months - she just needed the right sort of help.

Elless, rather than wishing less sympathy and support for children today, perhaps you could reflect that maybe you should have received more.

Some of these children will have been through unimaginable trauma. School refusal is far more than wanting the odd day off school. It is also not a new thing. I knew a girl nearly fifty years ago who was a school refuser. Years later, it came to light that her father was a paedophile. One can only begin to imagine how the poor girl must have suffered.

Totally agree with David49

We saw the news reports about help for children, and the "mental elf" problems really are 'a thing'.

Just as well the people who had to go into WW1 and WW2 couldn't say "sorry, I'll go next week, once me mental elf councillor has been"??

I recall the big freeze, at the end of 1962 and extending to March 63, the country covered in snowdrifts, and hordes of kids (I was one) still going out every day like Shackleton's South Pole explorers. Nowadays the schools get closed if there's an icy puddle where the giant people carriers need to drop kids off?!!

My goodness there are some nasty and some sarcastic replies on here. When did Gransnet become so aggressive? Surely we have always been a forum where different views are respected.

Whatever next, we already have a snow flake generation this is just pandering at its worst. What happened to kids having resilience and determination and a back bone.

Nanny27

My goodness there are some nasty and some sarcastic replies on here. When did Gransnet become so aggressive? Surely we have always been a forum where different views are respected.

Because it’s GN i held back on my remarks. It’s a subject that I have been very close to and won’t hold back defending children against ignorant assumptions.

Distressed children need to be cared for. Today's world is more challenging than the world many of us older ones grew up in. And maybe a school refuser has been bullied but not felt able to speak up - and there are other painful possibilities. I hope there are good resources and compassionate people who can help the children who cannot face school.

friendlygingercat

If I had refused to go to school a smart slap across the legs would soon have cured it. I can remember going with cardboard in the soles of my shoes because my mother could not afford new ones. No wonder today's kids are so weak and spineless that they are too scared to make a phone call.

Not a very nice comment.

Estrellita

friendlygingercat

If I had refused to go to school a smart slap across the legs would soon have cured it. I can remember going with cardboard in the soles of my shoes because my mother could not afford new ones. No wonder today's kids are so weak and spineless that they are too scared to make a phone call.

Not a very nice comment.

Yes, a good slap now and then and some painful old shoes will cure them.

friendlygingercat

If I had refused to go to school a smart slap across the legs would soon have cured it. I can remember going with cardboard in the soles of my shoes because my mother could not afford new ones. No wonder today's kids are so weak and spineless that they are too scared to make a phone call.

Same , I remember plastic bags on my feet because my boots had holes in the soles

Applegran

Distressed children need to be cared for. Today's world is more challenging than the world many of us older ones grew up in. And maybe a school refuser has been bullied but not felt able to speak up - and there are other painful possibilities. I hope there are good resources and compassionate people who can help the children who cannot face school.

Oh fgs

I have a very good friend who is a therapist working with all age groups and is very specialised in the field of working with young people who would like to be educated but fear school. I would love her to be able to comment on here as her values and experiences would enlighten many of us.
Having taught for 36 years I did see evidence to support the children who failed to attend due to psychological fears. Luckily we had CAMHS and good mentors due to funding. Please don’t judge parents, guardians over this issue, it is far more complex than we could imagine .

Momac55

friendlygingercat

If I had refused to go to school a smart slap across the legs would soon have cured it. I can remember going with cardboard in the soles of my shoes because my mother could not afford new ones. No wonder today's kids are so weak and spineless that they are too scared to make a phone call.

Same , I remember plastic bags on my feet because my boots had holes in the soles

Plastic bags hadnt been invented back then we used old hessian potato sacks.

Elless totally agree with your comments! How on earth will these kids turn into well rounded functioning adults dealing with the trials and tribulations of the adult life?! None of us wanted to go to school there has always been bullying, bitchiness and the like but there was no option to not go. It’s about learning how to manoeuvre life’s difficulties from an early age.

David49

Momac55

friendlygingercat

If I had refused to go to school a smart slap across the legs would soon have cured it. I can remember going with cardboard in the soles of my shoes because my mother could not afford new ones. No wonder today's kids are so weak and spineless that they are too scared to make a phone call.

Same , I remember plastic bags on my feet because my boots had holes in the soles

Plastic bags hadnt been invented back then we used old hessian potato sacks.

Cue Monty Pythons sketch.
Or is it oneupmanship.

I remember being shamed when a boy from my class Jan Kinaski saw me queing up outside a Jumble Sale .. I got most of my clothes from there , aged 12 ish ... he made my life a misery and Ive never forgotten him or having to turn up at school in worn pinaforms , upshot of this is now I love Jumble Sales and Charity Shops , I see the sense of darning and saving old clothes ...

Susieq62

I have a very good friend who is a therapist working with all age groups and is very specialised in the field of working with young people who would like to be educated but fear school. I would love her to be able to comment on here as her values and experiences would enlighten many of us.
Having taught for 36 years I did see evidence to support the children who failed to attend due to psychological fears. Luckily we had CAMHS and good mentors due to funding. Please don’t judge parents, guardians over this issue, it is far more complex than we could imagine .

This!

Madwoman11

I can't believe people are calling kids who are being bullied "Weak and Spineless". Do you not listen to the news and see that because of the couldn't care less attitude some young people are committing suicide.
Have a word with yourself before you write such toxic remarks for goodness sake

100%

A great many unpleasant comments on this thread which doesn’t surprise me in the least.
I am going to add to the unpleasant comments by saying that some of these ‘grans’ should perhaps stick to talking about holidays, baking cakes and gardening. When you have worked with as many troubled young people (think child protection issues) and encountered as many desperately mentally unwell youngsters including my own daughter whose life at 37 has been ruined by her own troubled mind then you are qualified to give an opinion to speak in the subject.