It's time to stop pandering

Forgot to mention - they are paying £3,500 a pop for robots to sit in class for the child suffering from EBSA so that they can be in class 'virtually'.

Emotionally Based School Avoidance.

Had to look it up.

Hmm.

Lots of times when as a child you would much, much rather stay safely at home with Mum, sooner than go to school.

Am sure many of us can relate to that.

And in the future?

Does it carry on to needing to avoid college, work….?

Everything has a label nowadays.

If I had refused to go to school a smart slap across the legs would soon have cured it. I can remember going with cardboard in the soles of my shoes because my mother could not afford new ones. No wonder today's kids are so weak and spineless that they are too scared to make a phone call.

I had to look it up also.
The use of (very small) devices looks interesting and quite innovative 👍

It's not really about pandering, certain media have decided to highlight the EBSA aspect as it obviously grabs attention. For many children unable to attend school it's a lifeline.

Classroom robots to support absent children in Wakefield - BBC News share.google/3Zmx8QOOJFo5tu66s

All I can add is that some children need to be able to have a helping hand from parents to build the reliance and confidence they will need throughout their lives. We all have to do things we don’t like doing, school is a good example of this.

Oh my word, oh my word. What an awful post. You do realise that this has been around for a long time right? Have you ever worked with someone who really wants to be in school, but physically is unable to do this? Well, clearly not as you’re obviously not compassionate enough to do that.

PaperMonster2

Oh my word, oh my word. What an awful post. You do realise that this has been around for a long time right? Have you ever worked with someone who really wants to be in school, but physically is unable to do this? Well, clearly not as you’re obviously not compassionate enough to do that.

I have absolutely no doubt in my mind at all that there are children who cannot cope in school, children who dearly want to go to school, but for one reason or another have developed a massive fear or phobia about actually attending school.

I think COVID lockdown will have affected this and undoubtedly caused a whole generation to have some children greatly mentally and emotionally affected.

But, I still stand by my assertion that we do also have to support all children to build resilience and confidence to be able to face their great fears and to support them to overcome and manage them.

We need to support them to grow and to become responsible adults.

I’m not suggesting it doesn’t exist, nor that we should ignore it.

Unless you have witnessed the endless struggle and emotional toll on a family of a child ( let’s remember it’s a child ) who actually would like to be in school but physically cannot even get out the door without breaking down - how can you judge ? Although in this weird era of my life ( my 70 s ) I find that the world has become more judgemental and less tolerant than ever so I shouldn’t be surprised . I hope no one makes you do something that fills you with fear and makes you feel ill every day because it’s supposedly good for u .

A close friend of our family has a school refuser as these children are sometimes called. Their sibling trots off happily every day.

It is emotionally draining for parents and absolutely dreadful for the child. This child wants to be educated, they are bright, bi-lingual and socially aware along with being good company.

However, they just cannot physically go through the school gate have been like this since first day of primary school all the way through to now yr.10.

We cannot punish the minority who truly need support, bury our heads in the sand and make the situation worse.
Yesteryears are gone.
Autism, allergies and new conditions you never heard of have a name.

It is like saying "depression is being sad, cheer up "

Meanwhile, we have parents of adult children who enable them so much and those kids stop functioning like adults.

“But, I still stand by my assertion that we do also have to support all children to build resilience and confidence to be able to face their great fears and to support them to overcome and manage them.

We need to support them to grow and to become responsible adults.

I’m not suggesting it doesn’t exist, nor that we should ignore it.”

You absolutely do not build resilience by forcing them in. This really does do more harm than good. A child with EBSA will be being offered appropriate professional support. There is always a lot of work going on in the background.

GrannyGravy13 school refusal is an old fashioned term that is no longer used for obvious reasons.

Dr Naomi Fisher is a very good resource for looking at resilience building.

I know PaperMonster2 which is why I put it in italics.

It is being used by the child’s parent in general conversation as EBSA is still a relatively new explanation.

Cossy

All I can add is that some children need to be able to have a helping hand from parents to build the reliance and confidence they will need throughout their lives. We all have to do things we don’t like doing, school is a good example of this.

This.

Child mental health services are woefully underfunded. All my GCs were negatively affected by lockdown in different ways but no help was available and they just had to suck it up.

I see EBSA as a breakthrough.

Far from 'pandering' to them and 'molly coddling' them, the different schools my GCs attend are all obsessed with attendance and on the odd occasions when I have had to look up the phone number of the absence line online, I have been met with details about fixed penalty fines and the possibility of the parents incurring a custodial sentence if the child is persistently absent.

The reality is that children become physically ill or over anxious sometimes and have to miss school.

Most adults do not find that work places take such a hardline attitude to absences.

With my own children I made sure that they understood that going in to school was a given unless there was a very good reason but I never smacked them up and told them to 'pull themselves together.' My children have a similar attitude to mine, with their DCs, who all understand the importance of regular attendance .

PaperMonster2

“But, I still stand by my assertion that we do also have to support all children to build resilience and confidence to be able to face their great fears and to support them to overcome and manage them.

We need to support them to grow and to become responsible adults.

I’m not suggesting it doesn’t exist, nor that we should ignore it.”

You absolutely do not build resilience by forcing them in. This really does do more harm than good. A child with EBSA will be being offered appropriate professional support. There is always a lot of work going on in the background.

GrannyGravy13 school refusal is an old fashioned term that is no longer used for obvious reasons.

Dr Naomi Fisher is a very good resource for looking at resilience building.

I didn’t say “force”, I used my words carefully. I said support.

For most children though, there needs to be good, positive ways to manage and support these issues as at some point these children will become adults.

I’d never ever advocate “forcing” anyone, child or not, to do something which makes them physically, emotionally or mentally unwell

All I can say to the nay sayers is: your very lucky that you’ve never seen a child hanging on to the doorframe in terror while a parent is trying to follow some of the thinking on here.

petra

All I can say to the nay sayers is: your very lucky that you’ve never seen a child hanging on to the doorframe in terror while a parent is trying to follow some of the thinking on here.

Exactly 👍

I was talking recently with the organiser of the charity I volunteered with for many years. A volunteer befriends a child, referred by SS, school or GP practice, who would benefit from the regular one-to-one company of a committed adult.
The organiser said that she thought that some young parents were actually lazy and didn't bother to get their children to school. Some had decided that, because of self-diagnosed ADHD, including the child, they couldn't be expected to do the job of parenting. This has produced dysregulated children, exhibiting challenging behaviour and missing school, resulting in school refusal.
The organiser said it's become more common than when I was a volunteer until two years ago.
I know some Grans have AC who are teachers. Do they have any comments?

Petra yes, it amazes me how many people have strong opinions about various aspects of life. Things that are completely outside of their own lived experience or that of their family and friendship circle.

Children in the past refused school for similar reasons but we didn't have the framework to support them then.
They were just left at home uneducated.
Since covid school refusal numbers have risen. One reason is the number of adults working from home.
The getting up and out in the morning routine becoming lost.

If they think that will sort it go ahead.

All I can say to the nay sayers is: your very lucky that you’ve never seen a child hanging on to the doorframe in terror while a parent is trying to follow some of the thinking on here.

I have seen just that, and have removed children clinging onto doorposts or attempting to batter down a closed or locked door, and I can honestly say that once within school and with someone talking to them and reassuring them, they have calmed down,overcome their fears, real and imagined and will return again. Not a frequent occurrence, and with primary age children only., and all before covid.
There are children who are scared by trouble at home, usually the threat of divorce and the fear that when they return mummy or daddy will not be there. So often one learns sometime later that the parents are splitting up, but of course it has never had a dire effect on the child, they claim. Generally, once it has happened children face the reality and accommodate it.

Seems an excellent idea. As I read it, it helps children gradually return to school - and stay there. In the past children just dropped out of education entirely and, if they did, the children were way behind their contemporaries that just brought the problem back and going back was also difficult. The article I read talked to children who had returned to school after studying through one of these machines and they were quite unequivocal that they would not be back in school eept for this machine.

Before making sweeping comments as the OP has. She should read the article/news media I read thoroughly. She will see how effective these machines are. Does she want more children committing suicide as they are forced back to school (how) or have them descending further into serious mental illness or drug addiction just because using a machine that is more effective than the usual methods is seen as 'mollycoddling;