self harming

Boys too. We should be asking why they feel under such pressure. The a school system and social media seem to be the main culprits.

I began self harming at four and was cutting by eight.

I haven’t self harmed in seven years, but very occasionally I feel the impulse and have to use the techniques I was taught to overcome it.

Nothing has ever brought me the same sensation of complete calm and serenity as cutting.

I think people are more willing to come forward for help now.

When my daughter was a teenager she told me that by far the most common problem at her (girls) school was self-harm.

I found out a few weeks ago that my youngest granddaughter (16) had done this during a very stressful period when she was doing her exams. Her mum was extremely shocked when she found out - she couldn't explain why she'd done it. I think she was even more shocked when I rolled up my sleeve and showed her the scar on my arm which I'd done many years ago. It was a spur of the moment thing during a really difficult time and I was absolutely horrified when I'd done it and was so ashamed I couldn't tell anyone. As I was decorating at the time I said I'd slipped with the scissors!

I'm sure children these days are under huge stress at school with exams, bullying, peer pressure and often issues in their home lives that some find self harming calms them down. It's such a sad situation and definitely mentors are needed in school where they can go to talk through their problems - sometimes just talking things through with someone not closely involved helps enormously.

In my first job one of the other junior staff self harmed and had anorexia, this would be 50+ years ago. As I was pretty friendly with her I went to visit her in a unit she was admitted to I was scared to death being only 16. They helped her overcome her issues but it took a very long time and she never came back to work.
It does seem much more prevalent now or is it just talked about more? I have a 13yr old GD who does have some difficulty fitting in with ‘the girls’ as she is her own person and is not into girlie things but she has one or two likeminded pals and we keep a close eye on her but it is very concerning as I know they learn to hide it well. My daughter has made a point of both being comfortable sharing bathroom space when either of them are bathing/showering since GD was small which does give her an opportunity to ask if she should see anything untoward. Of course she doesn’t deliberately walk into the bathroom all the time but it’s not an issue should she be sitting on the loo while GD is in the bath and vice versa. I think it’s a good thing although I’m sure someone would have an issue with it.

I was not aware of any of my contemporaries self-harming or having eating disorders..but that is not to say they did not just that if it happened it was hidden away and hushed up.
My DD2 has a friend who self-harmed and has badly scarred arms but she does not hide them now. One of the TAs at the school where I am a governor is anorexic and can only work p/t as she goes home to be button fed in the afternoon. So sad as she is a great TA .

Well your replies have been a revelation for me.
As some have said, perhaps it was more hidden in the past.
Boys as well, but more girls.
I do know of some girls who were anorexic - do you think the two come from the same kind of emotional problems?
In one of the links I read it was pointed out that there's a sudden increase in some hormones in adolescence which could trigger the extra-sensitive feelings.
Plus, as others have said, the pressures in school to conform and pass exams.
But it was like that in my youth.

muffin - how did you manage to get the help you needed?
Glad to know that the techniques work for you.

ps As this is such a sensitive subject be sure your user name can't identify you.

I just want to know the sample selection, sample size and methodology of this study.

This is the most concise link I can find.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-45329030

Yes I saw that. So about a quarter of the girls who completed a questionnaire on self harming said that they'd self harmed. This was about 1200 girls. How many girls on seeing a questionnaire like that just wouldn't bother to have anything to do with it? I'm not saying self harm isn't a problem because it is for those unfortunate souls that decide to do it but I'm wary of blanket claims that a quarter of all girls self harm.

The increase in self harm, including eating disorders is

Fennel, possibly. I also had treatment for disordered eating into my twenties. I know in my case both issues are fruit of the same poisoned tree, but I don’t like to speak for others.

I eventually as an adult had enough faith in a therapist to let them help me with the cutting. It doesn’t make the feelings go away. I had to learn to confront them and hold on and actually feel them through to the end.

Visualisation of holding red hot coals is part of it, also some breathing techniques. A lot of people report success with ice cubes and elastic bands, but the physical redirection never worked for me.

I could never say I would never do it again - I don’t think you can ever be sure that demon is gone - but I no longer expect to do it again and that is a huge mindshift change for me.

PECs what is button fed?
Self-harming/cutting gives endorfins, just as running or alcohol or drugs. No, I have not self-harmed but have been told.
also if you google this is just one result
www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-scarred-soul/200910/myths-and-misconceptions-self-injury-part-ii

I have worked counselling adolescents ( still do one day a week) for many years. Self harm has always been an issue , always been hidden unless you ask, is more common in girls than boys, but am currently seeing one boy and have known of others. It is usually linked to poor self esteem/ issues around how they perceive their self image or how they see how others perceive it. I believe it has got worse because of the huge uptake in using social media eg how many "likes" you get is a way of how your popularity is measured by your peers sometimes. Good techniques for help include distraction techniques and visualisation but it is hard to shift permanently as it can have a level of addiction. It's not helpful to be shocked as this is seen as criticism and makes young people feel worse. There is some risk that self harm escalates into suicidal feelings but this is not true of all but it should be taken seriously it is not just done for attention .

Pressure in schools is greater than it's ever been. Often schools have reduced tutor time enormously and teenagers have lost the relationships that gave them an adult they trusted to open up to. The school libraries used to be a haven for some, the librarians' time is bring cut, so the opening hours are shorter.
Adults both in the home and at school are more stressed due to financial concerns.
Youth workers are having their hours cut.
That's just for starters.
Austerity is not the reason, but it's definitely made things a lot worse.

Self harm is indeed prevalent in society today, it probably always was but like many mental illnesses, was not talked about openly in my younger days. I worked as a teacher with responsibility for child protection and this was one of my biggest issues.

My niece was self harming last year and also took an overdose. This was totally down to on line bullying from a group of girls at school. With the rise of the Internet, children are not able to get away from the bullies even at home if they also use social media site - which they do as a matter of course. My niece did not want to go to school the following day after some nasty comment online and knew that her mum would not believe her if she tried to say she was unwell. So she thought taking a few tablets would make her sleepy and look ill but unfortunately she took too many. She ended up vomiting in the early hours of the morning and woke her mother up so she was able to tell her what she had done. Obviously they went to A&E and she was admitted for several days and referred to CAMS for support. We now keep a close eye on her but it is not easy to relax. The "incident" with her friends was a storm in a tea cup but over reaction by teenagers is very common. The self harming seems to have stopped as well and her arms are not too scarred but again, we are alert to the possibility of it happening again.

Self harming comes in many forms, not necessarily just about cutting ones self. My daughter used to cut herself, often with dirty bits of glass etc. That stopped then she began controlling what she ate. She still has food issues and has to to fight the urge to cut herself. It's a terrible mental illness. I for one am very happy it's being discussed and recognised.

When I was in Year 11 (then the 5th form) there was a girl of normal stature who became skeletally thin over the course of the year. She was covered in a fine layer of down which I believe can be a result of anorexia. Eventually she said to a few of us her father had died and her mother blamed her. I never recall any teacher asking her what was going on. I went on to college but later learned she had died.

My DD knew a girl when she was at school who cut herself. I'd never heard of it 'til then but I gather it is increasingly prevalent. A friend who is an LSA had a boy grab her scissors and cut himself in class! I assume that is extreme and that most of it is carried out in private.

my daughter (55) self harms regularly and has done for years. She has mental health problems. She says cutting is her 'silent scream' and lets out tension. For years she kept it hidden, wore long sleeved tops etc but now she is quite open about it. Her arms and tops of her legs are scarred from cutting for so long. I know there is nothing I can do to stop her doing this and often see her arms bandaged. Mental health problems are awful and there is often nothing you can do to help the person.

Our gd who has lived with us since she was 6 starting self harming when she had been at her secondary school for about 3 years.
We went to the doctor and got a letter for her to attend CAMHS.
She is 18 in October and was put on medication which made such a difference but she started self harming again a few weeks ago. Her doctor at clinic is thinking of upping the medication. It’s so sad for us and so upsetting for us to see this is still ongoing.

I am concerned that giving publicity (including social media, peer pressure, etc.) to this alarming practice also gives ideas to those who may not have considered doing it before.

It's hard to believe that a quarter of all fourteen year old girls self harm. Or is that just how it's been reported/interpreted?