My lovely grand-daughter

I meant her parents were giving her £200 from both of them not each!

If this were my grand-daughter, who is 25 and currently working overseas, I certainly would be able to ask her.

I'd say how worried I was because there are some odd people at uni and was one of them bullying her for money?

It depends how she sees you nananina and I'm assuming she has a high regards for you, so if you think you can speak to her, do so.

I'd prefer to do it in person rather than by phone but then recently my beloved girl has been confiding in me via FB messages as she's half a world away.

Some would say it's up to her parents to question her spending but I know my granddaughter tells me things she wouldn't dream of confiding to her parents.
I do hope it's something and nothing: a more expensive call for equipment or replacement of stolen items (so much is pinched at uni). Please let us know how it goes.

£400 a month spending is a lot of money ! More than I have ?
when you sat down and worked out with her parents before she went what brought you up to £100 a week as she’s paying no rent or utilities did she have an allowance of £100 a week when she was living at home as her situation really is no different she is not paying board and lodgings and obviously doesn’t travel to uni as she’s in halls
She will probably be spending most of it on socialising
I suppose I was lucky I had no money to spare after bringing my children up unaided so my children all worked their own way through Uni and happily got their degrees They left home with no allowances. They never asked for any money and were totally self sufficient, obviously times have changed

When my daughter went to uni we worked out what she would beed for toiletries etc and based what we gave her on that. She was in halls too. (paid for by government at that time). I see no problem discussing how she is managing. It seems a lot of money but you won't know until you ask.

Going against the flow, but I don't think £400 is a lot to be honest, when you factor in books for her course, which are often very expensive, travel costs, personal toiletries etc and socialising. I imagine that she is spending a lot of time out and about and meeting new friends, which is what students generally do if they can afford it.

I have two daughters at university and pay them each a monthly allowance of £600, but they have to buy their own food out of that as they are not in 'lodgings'. They both manage fine but they do not live in any way extravagantly, hardly drink etc.

I would be inclined to have a face to face conversation, ask her how she is settling in, what she is doing etc, and she is likely to tell you of any problems, if you have a close relationship, which it sounds as though you do. If you suggest that she is spending too much, she is likely to clam up and feel uncomfortable and potentially guilty when she is spending money on going out or doing normal things that students do. You are giving her a wonderful gift and you say that you can afford it, so let her just enjoy it. If it's her first time away from home it may take her a little while to learn to budget, but she will get there in the end!

What Dolcelatte says is true. You don't want her to feel guilty because then she will stop telling you what she is doing. I help my single parent daughter but I would never criticise her spending.

Does her hall provide food? A lot of them are self catering and learning to budget for food can take a while. As someone else said books are very expensive as is socialising. Libraries only have a limited number of the most popular textbooks and you can’t take them out for long. I wanted my daughter to go out and make friends, it’s so important to establish a support network when they’re away from home for the first time.

I agree with dolcelatte and dizzy. Although £400 per month sounds a lot, if that is being used for text books, toiletries, clothing, travelling and socialising, plus perhaps food, then it can soon be used up. Some text books can be incredibly expensive.
You could perhaps ask in a more general way how she is coping.

I agree it sounds a lot, but as others have said, she is young, is experiencing more freedom than she has had, and is probably taking a while to learn how to budget. She is probably spending a lot on socialising, eating out ( eating in hall every night can be boring,) taxis, clothes. I think, since you are giving her the money, you are justified in telling her that you will stick to an agreed date for her allowance every month, and will not pay out before that, so that she can learn to budget a bit better. When she leaves halls and goes into rented accommodation next year she will need to be able to manage her money carefully.

I think I’d ask generally about university life, face to face if she will be around soon if not in a phone call,when you know you both have time to chat. Be interested. Let her chat. Listen for what the pressures are, what she particularly enjoys. Has anything been surprising in a good or bad way and then listen to what she says. If anything obvious is left out ask her gently ‘I was wondering about.....’. Remind her you love her and want her to enjoy her time at University. It is a big change for her, there will be pressures she hasn’t experienced before. Money does disappear quickly sometimes, as long as you keep your conversation non blaming I’m sure you’ll hear if there are any real worries. We all have to learn to manage money, sometimes we get it right sometimes not.

Spot on cornergran get her chatting next time you meet up.

Can’t she get a part time job surely that’s what most kids do
I love the bit someone suggests ‘taxis’ well who has money to spend on taxis unless on a special occasion do you all use taxis on anything other than an exception ...she’s in halls so needs no travelling to and from uni and surely socialising will mostly be in groups Don’t most cycle, walk or have student cards for buses
You say you can afford it but no wonder working class kids don’t get to go to uni any more
If you start paying her early she will never learn to manage Kids should be managing their money as soon as they are old enough to start their paper round

Halls are not always local to campus anymore. My son had a good 20 minute bus ride to campus at Exeter when in halls. They were nearly all self catering halls there too. My daughter at Surrey was a lot closer but had to travel to placements and was self catering from the start.

Actually I use taxis a lot, in the evenings, or when I am catching an early train to go away- there’s not a lot of difference between a bus fare and a taxi, and I am paying for the convenience too. ( I can’t use my concessionary pass before 9.30.) I rarely pay more than £8 a trip. When I was a student I used to hitchhike home from a night out- I would rather my grandchildren used a taxi. This young woman is indeed very fortunate to have parents and a grandmother who can afford to give her quite a generous allowance, the poster is just concerned that she may not be budgeting effectively yet.

Also it is January! Many people struggle to get to pay day in Jan uary. Christmas festivities take its toll on the purse! A hundred a week sounds a lot but in reality will be aesy to spend. Does all the money get into her account at once? You might suggest that you put your £200 in on the 15th of the month or whatever..so her income is spread out a bit.

My three grandchildren had to buy their food when they were in halls.

I think its a lot of money; more than a person on universal credit gets, and lots of people were quite scathing about why food banks were needed.

As someone who was a student not too long ago I think apart from food it's probably being spent on nights out and clothes for those nights out. Most students are out 2-3 nights a week. That soon adds up! Although it is a lot of money spent I don't regret it (and nor does my younger sister). It was fun to do whilst we could!

Also, she probably won't be buying textbooks. The majority are available online through the uni now and no student I ever knew spent their money on books when they could get access to them for free (and spend the money on alcohol!).

A couple of glasses of wine ... bottle of booze... new tee- shirt... entry fee to a club... take away ...£100 gone!

Cost of student life is quite different to when I (69 -72), & then my DDs , ( 90s) were at that stage.
An average weekly shop cost about £1/2s in ' 69 which would be approx £17:25p today...but we would get far less for that money today! My parents provided £20 per month for me.
DH set up an account at Waterstone's for the DDs so they could always get the texts they needed and we gave them an allowance too.

Is it her first year? It is very difficult the first year away from home, when budgeting and managing your life entirely independently is a new experience and things can get out of control.

She may be in a bit of a state and trying to sort herself out, and worried about telling you or her parents, so a kind word from you asking how she is coping and letting her know that you understand and will help her (not necessarily money) if she has got herself into a bit of debt may be very welcome.

Both my DC got themselves into a bit of a financial muddle in their first years at uni but we made sure that it was always easier to talk to us about it than take out loans or have huge overdrafts.

Yoyr grandaughter may have had an expensive Christmas and needs money to tide her over. Does she have any sort of part -time job to provide extra income?
If she is in Halls and in a campus university she shouldn't incur large travelling or food expenses.
Most academic resources are online so access and availability, particularly in the first year, should not be an extra cost.. Does her course require extra materials for work, such as art, technology, or visits to exhibitions, museums etc?

It sounds as though she is not managing her money very well, and is probably overspending on personal things and entertainment. By all means ask her if she is having money worries, and don't continue to advance money unconditionally, but don't discuss it with her parents unless a serious problem emerges.
When I went to college my father, not noticeably generous, said to me 'we don't ever want you to be without money, so if you are short tell me and I will lend you extra, and then in the holidays we will go through your finances and see where you can save.'
I never asked him for extra money and learned to manage on what I had!

Our GD started uni last year. We give her £50 a month and put the odd extra bit in now and then. She has a job back here which they keep open for her each holiday. Her mum is encouraging her to try to get a part time job on campus but they are few and far between. I'm sure she wastes a lot of money, but she's young and having the time of her life to be honest. I wouldn't dream of questioning her. I think it would be hard to stop giving her the money once you have started. We gave ours a large lump sum when she got to 18, which her mum is trying to keep maybe for her to use as a deposit for a home or something. We decided that if we give her money, we give it with good heart and forget about it (with guidance from her parents).

I just think it would be very difficult to question your DGD without sounding nosy and prying, but it might just be worth mentioning that you are always there if she has any problems regarding anything and that you hope she can always come to you.
When our DD was at uni (early 2000s) she had a loan, but we were lucky enough to be able to afford £400 a month for her to cover food and to help with rent and utilities, clothes etc.