My lovely grand-daughter

It doesn't really matter how much money she has, what matters is the need to learn to manage it. By saying she can come to you when she is short will take away that need and of course make her dependent on you. I think you need to discuss with her and if need be, her parents.

My GD had to buy her food too *Annie". Although she is in halls, there is no food provided. She clubs together with her pals and they go to Aldi!

Has to not had to.

I think you have to continue as you have been giving the £200 when you are asked. But talking to her generally about Uni life is a great idea. As has been said one night out can gobble up money, but so can other social activities there is a fee for most university clubs and travel and food can be expensive. If she is finding things difficult you could offer help with budgeting or give her gifts of essential items. When my DS was at Uni I used to do a huge shop whenever I visited him and fill his cupboards with food that would keep.

Well DoraMarr you are lucky to use taxis quite a lot you must be in a much better financial situation than I am I use my bus pass all the time and if it’s before 9.30 I walk or cycle When going away if it’s before 9.30 I walk with a wheelie suitcase just 20 min walk as I know I ll be sitting all day I couldn’t afford many taxis and I m sure the original poster isn’t providing money for a teenager to use taxis

I think you should encourage your granddaughter to get a job weekends and or evenings so she learns the value of money teenagers think twice if they re spending their own money

I would just leave things exactly as they are and not ask any questions. If she is happy, enjoying uni and has a good social life then it's money well spent. She will remember your kindness in years to come.

There's plenty of time for her to learn about budgeting which she will have to do when moving out of Halls. It's all part of life's experiences.

Don't rock the boat!

PS. My lovely granddaughter has just got a place at Solent University and has sent me a picture of her smart new PINK haircut

In a general chat I always found it useful to ask...... What's the best bit, and what's the worst bit.

Ask yourself the question, 'Would I cut her allowance if she was spending it on getting plastered or doing drugs?'
You are never going to know and asking her may not give you the truth.
You seem besotted to the point of being a tad blinded to the prospect that she may not be spending the cash as you wish.
She may lend some to mates or end up being sick outside a nightclub at 3am but is hardly going to tell you that.
She knows a soft touch when she sees it and, if you have no intention of reducing your benevolence, why ask us?
Your GD can always get a p/t job, which is what most students do.

At the risk of sounding a horrible Mother/Gran, my own daughters had to find themselves a job. There is no way I would pay them a regular amount. Surely the whole point of growing up is learning to rely on yourself. My 3 daughters have never asked me to lend them any money and have learnt to stand on their own two feet.

Pat1949
I totally agree.
That is the most sensible course to take, regardless of your income and willingness to underwrite their social life etc.

merlotgran
Mmm
I don't think that's always the case if some threads on here are to be believed.
How many parents and GPs have financed their children through uni and beyond adulthood and marriage, yet that kindness, if remembered, is short-lived in the memory of a good many of them when they go NC, or forget loans or any other financial kindnesses which have dug them out of pits.
Think about it. You can't buy love.

I can see the sense in what GabriellaG and some others are saying. Its difficult to know what to do.?

I think financing through university is one thing. Financing beyond that is something else.

I benefited from a virtually free university degree, no fees and a maintenance grant. I was expected to be self supporting once I graduated. When our DC went to uni, they did not pay fees, but did not get a maintenance grant so we gave them money to live on. Once or twice we bailed them out financially, but always insisted they repaid this money - and they did. They were expected to be self supporting once they graduated.

When DGC reach university age, I hope we can, with their parents ensure that they too come out of uni with as little debt as possible.

If the week to 10 days DC and families spent with us at Christmas and the time we already plan to spend together this year are anything to go by, far from

that kindness, if remembered, is short-lived in the memory of a good many of them when they go NC, or forget loans or any other financial kindnesses which have dug them out of pits.

supporting our children financially through uni, but with in a strict financial framework, of cut off points and loan repayment schedules that we insisted were stuck to, can lead to loving and happy family relations.

Why is a 20 year old the love of your life?

Lily65 My GDG is 18 and why can't she be the love of my life - you don't know the background so hold your horses. OK others are the love of my life, my DH and my adult children and other grandchildren who I love dearly.

The rest of posters - thank you so much, I have read every post and intend to re-read. Lots of you say I should have a general chat about uni but we do that anyway and thinking about it I could mention money - thought of saying "did you maybe overspend at Christmas" - I have an excellent r/ship with her and she is very close to her mom and dad.

A part time job - yes I'll mention that but as many of you say if she doesn't need to, she won't be motivated. The girl in the room next door who is now her best friend does have a part time job and I'm sure others do too.

I was a bit shocked by the poster telling me what a night out could cost - drinks, payment to get in the club and cab back to uni. could cost £100! I know she goes out quite a lot and drinks vodka and cocktails. They don't leave these clubs till the early hours so to me it is imperative that she gets a cab with her friends.
^Gabriella* I'm not trying to buy love and I think it's unkind to say so.
Afraid i am the generous type and can't help myself. I am not rich at all but we both have good occupational pensions and SR pensions. I have always given my two sons money (they've never asked) and of course don't need it. I pay for my niece's phone bill and give her £100 pounds every few weks and bought her a new washing machine and tumbler dryer and I buy clothes for her children. My sister knits for charity and can't afford the wool so I make sure she has a good stash. Please don't think I'm some kind of mother Teresa, it's just that I enjoy giving and don't like presents.

Anyway thank you all again.

From experience, I think it’s a bad idea to fall into the habit of paying the allowance early. Apart from the fact that it’s poor preparation for the world of work (no advance wages on request then) it’s likely to encourage her to have a shortfall the following month when she’s going to have to make her allowance last longer because she’s had it early. And being a soft touch means that she might not try as hard as she should to spend her money wisely if she knows she can just tap granny’s bank. Been there, done that several times and currently trying very hard not to do it again. I know it’s hard to say no but I think it’s in her best interests. Just do it gently. If the £100 week is just for spending money I think it’s enough. As someone else has said in comparison a person of the same age on Universal Credit gets circa £55 to live on so getting £100 just to spend on themselves would be like heaven to them. Once she has to pay rent, utility bills, buy food and so on, budgeting is going to be essential so the sooner it starts the better in my opinion. Dote on them though we may, it’s really not in their best interests for things to come too easily.

Nannina, no need to apologise for your generosity, there are a few jealous posters on here. Of course you want to know that your GD will be able to afford a taxi home late at night.

A lot of posters are suggesting that your GD should get a part time job, but this will impact upon her time for studying. In an era when so many people go to university, it is essential to strive for a 1st or a 2.1, so she needs to invest the time in her course. One of my daughters is at Cambridge, where students are not allowed to work in term time as it may interfere with their studies, and I suspect that some other universities may have the same policy.

We have Twin Gd's in their 3rd year at Newcastle. The grants they receive just cover their Course Fees and Accommodation.
They are given £50 each per week and manage on that for food and nights out and both have bikes for travel.
First year they both had a job in a bar a couple of nights a week but their courses, Chemistry and Biology are so intense, they could not afford the time to work after the first year.
They say that there are many with more money than they have but I'm proud that they have managed, they both cook food from scratch and freeze portions, they buy few clothes and have a good social life with nights out on Student Nights where drinks are cheap and organizing party nights at their Student Houses.
They love it when I transfer the odd twenty quid their way and tell them to treat themselves and their trips home on the train are paid for.
I ask them what the students who have more money and yet are permanently broke spend it on and they say, eating out, take-aways, clothes, makeup and nights out.
To be fair, the cost of living is quite low in Newcastle so they probably wouldn't have found it quite so easy to manage in some others places.
I hope that this helps nananina but I would say that a hundred pounds per week was enough and your Gd has probably just overspent over Christmas.

Buffybee student accommodation is cheap in Newcastle , partly because there is so much of it. Bikes are a great idea, but not all cities and Unis are that cycle friendly. Nights out are cheaper too, which is why so many hen and stag parties come here!

*I'm worried about asking her as I don't want to upset her*;
Surprised at this, because you clearly are worried about her. She has been at university for less than 4 months and appears to be having trouble managing on what seems to be a generous allowance; the vodka cocktails, nights out and taxis home are probably the cause of lack of money, but I am assuming you don't intend to subsidise this.
Talk to her.

I would just say 'Sweetheart if I transfer it early aren’t you going to be in the same position this time next month? Is everything OK?'

My 19 year old at uni and also in halls budgets between €80-€100 pet week so I don't think €400 per month is excessive. She goes out a lot and that's fine by me, it's a phase and won't last for ever. She works hard on her course and I wouldn't want her to get a job because it would interfere with her studies.

If you and her parents are easily able to give her this allowance, I'd carry on and not worry too much. But don't be afraid to talk to her about how she budgets. I'm sure she's grateful and will not forget how you helped her. Out of interest, does her maintenance loan get eaten up by rent?

Jings! ‘ Teenager in Christmas Overspending Horror’

I’d be leaving it alone this time, and only re-think if it happens again.

But it has happened more than once already. The OP mentions that she has asked ‘occasionally’ and seems to be rightly concerned that a pattern is being set.