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Grandson wants to go on holiday with his boyfriend

(68 Posts)
Nannyoffour Thu 15-Feb-18 19:00:45

Hi my grandson who is 14 and openly gay asked me if he could go on holiday with his boyfriend who is 16. My grandsons boyfriends parents will also be going on holiday with them.
Should I let him or not ??? I don't know weather to say yes or no

Luckygirl Thu 15-Feb-18 19:04:20

Is he in your care Nannyoffour? Is it going to be up to you to decide?

I went on holiday with my boyfriend and his parents at a similar age; as did my DDs with friends of theirs. How well do you know these parents and the boyfriend? Do you have any specific concerns?

MissAdventure Thu 15-Feb-18 19:16:19

Hmmmm

Nannyoffour Thu 15-Feb-18 19:17:06

Yh him and his older sister who is 18 live with me

MissAdventure Thu 15-Feb-18 19:19:13

What specifically would be your issue then?

Cherrytree59 Thu 15-Feb-18 19:26:52

Well I'm sure all will be ok and everybody will have a lovely time.
Is it a half term hoilday?
Quite cold at the moment so they will need warm clothes
best pack a onsie

Ps why is it up to you to say 'weather' he goes or not? confused

vampirequeen Thu 15-Feb-18 19:46:57

He's going to be with adults. If you didn't know he was gay then you'd assume he was just going with his mate and his mate's mam and dad. As long as you believe the mam and dad are responsible adults than I don't see a problem.

Jalima1108 Thu 15-Feb-18 19:49:12

I'm not sure about the weather though hmm
Should be nice at the weekend - are they going away for half-term?

Make sure there's a ShoeZone where they are going and give him some money for new plimsolls.

BlueBelle Thu 15-Feb-18 19:54:56

Speak to the boyfriends parents to make sure they will be having some parental supervision as he is a minor and if you feel comfortable that he will be cared for and not left to their own devices all the time then that should be fine
It’s hard though as 14 is young and you have to worry about alcohol etc and depending where they are holidaying abroad, some countries and cultures are not open to homosexuality and they could be in trouble if seen to be openly gay

Jalima1108 Thu 15-Feb-18 20:00:55

and don't forget under-age sex is illegal in the UK.

Bridlington or Skegness - all the same here - illegal.

Oopsadaisy12 Thu 15-Feb-18 20:06:44

I think that you need to get to know the parents of the boyfriend before entrusting them with a 14 year old. You really shouldn’t let a youngster go away with people you know nothing about. This has nothing to do with sexual orientation just good parenting.

Fennel Thu 15-Feb-18 20:08:38

I agree with BlueBell speak to the boyfriend's parents etc.
Plus - with most 14 year olds sexuality isn't permanently fixed. Just starting to develop and could go either way. Whereas 16 - ??

Nannyoffour Thu 15-Feb-18 20:46:32

It's not a phase he's defiantly gay he's been openly gay for a couple of years now But I could tell he was before then

MissAdventure Thu 15-Feb-18 20:49:20

That's neither here nor there really, is it?

SueDonim Thu 15-Feb-18 20:58:45

Defiantly gay? How does that manifest, then? Who is he defying? Does he carry a poster around with him?

Anniebach Thu 15-Feb-18 21:54:55

The child has been openly gay since age 11 or 12

merlotgran Thu 15-Feb-18 22:01:53

Is an eleven or twelve year old really that sure?

Haven't we recently had a similar thread or am I imagining it?

lemongrove Thu 15-Feb-18 22:03:53

Are they going camping by any chance? grin
They must wear warm onesies at night ( keeps one warm and chaste.)

Chewbacca Thu 15-Feb-18 22:04:08

No, not imagining it merlotgran. We've been here before.hmm

phoenix Thu 15-Feb-18 22:12:50

hmm and hmm indeed!

Anniebach Thu 15-Feb-18 22:13:52

An age just started in high school where bullying is so common even against children older than 14

grannyticktock Thu 15-Feb-18 22:38:31

His sexual orientation shouldn't be an issue, as he is too young to be having sex legally. You (or your grandson's parents) will surely be talking to the boyfriend's parents about the ground rules for the holiday, just as you would if it was a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. You really don't want to end up with your grandson involved in a court case.

loopyloo Fri 16-Feb-18 08:48:40

In this day and age, I presume he is already having sex with his boyfriend. I hope he is using condoms. Perhaps you can have an open talk with him about not being pressured to have sex and some of the health concerns. Perhaps he should have the hpv vaccination.

MawBroon Fri 16-Feb-18 09:13:08

These last 2 posts are interesting coming one after the other.
What IS the legal situation and in any case, would most parents want to encourage it at such a young age?

MawBroon Fri 16-Feb-18 09:14:59

On reading the whole thread though hmmhmm