Help - I'm to be my daughters birthing partner !

How lovely! I was with my daughter at the birth of our first grandson. I had only seen a birth on TV, I had a ceaseraean myself. When her pains began we went to the hospital and she was made comfortable. As things progressed cool wet wipes came into play, she always remembers these. Lots of back rubs and encouraging words. The midwife was always there for advice on good positions for her to lay. As things progressed we went along to a lovely relaxing delivery suite and our DGS was born. The first thing I saw of him was his left ear and the side of his face. It was an experience I wouldn't have missed. DD got big cuddles and it was a marvellous close experience. Make the most of this experience. Make plans of things your DD would like with her, maybe some music. Let us all know when the baby arrives!

I had the privilege of being there when two of my DGC were born, admittedly at home and not hospital. It was just lovely. DD is not a fusspot and just got on with the job in hand. SIL was mostly involved, I was at the head end holding drink of water (with straw!) and cloth for brow mopping keeping out of the way.
Two midwives were in attendance; one for Mum and one for baby. First time was DD1's first baby and our first DGC. Be ready for love at first sight!

Firstly, think of it as an honour and privilege to be at the birth.

Secondly, whether it takes place in hospital or at home, (I have done both), you are going to need your practical hat on and not get too emotional. That means passing a drink to the mother, supplying cold flannels, buzzing for the midwife when ready, filling a birthing pool with a hose etc. etc. It's good to make yourself busy.

Added to this you may need to offer support and encouragement to her partner and make sure he feels involved too.

Strangely enough, you will cope seeing your daughter in pain and distressed because you know the best bit is on the way. The groaning is just a hurdle to get past and you just have to go with it.

Finally, you can allow yourself all the emotions in the world when you leave the room after and drive home. That's your time for rejoicing! Job done!

Thank you! Did you find yourself getting "tears" every time you though of birth of your granchild - I do I don't know what's the matter with me - I am normally a pretty strong person but this has me a blubbering wreck!! I'm so worried of "overstepping" the mark and upsetting my daughter and her partner! I've always been really close to my daughter, she only lives 10 miles away and we speak every day - but I'm so mindful of them needing time together as a new little family I don't want to get in the way - but nor do I want her to feel I've "abandoned" her!! No-one told me this grandparenting business could be so complicated lol!!

I used to be a midwife you will know what to do ,the grandmother whose baby I delivered said thank you for her grandchild.I was busy with the process,glAd that the mum was,well supported and I'm sure you will find that there are things you will be able to do .I can also echo the previous comments.

I am soooooo excited and nervous all at the same time! We know it is a little girl ? and now is just the waiting game - waiting all day and night for THAT PHONE CALL lol!! Oh can someone tell me all the abriefications please DD? SL? Lol?!

It's a real privilege to be asked to share in such a precious time. I was there for the births of my oldest daughter's two, both home births. She was quite specific beforehand in saying what they expected from me so, like you, I was anxious to get it right! Actually it was much easier than I'd expected, I just followed my own instincts and it was fine. There's nothing to match the feeling of cradling a minutes old baby. Mind you I did come away from the first birth with bite marks on my hand, my daughter denies it to this day but her partner and the midwife know the truth!!!

Hi Sarah your excitement shines through in your posts.

I can't help with advice, but here's the explanation for the acronyms:

www.gransnet.com/info/acronyms

Welcome to the world of grandmothers.

LOL granny queens that put a smile on my face!! I hope I don't get too many "injuries" lol!! I just feel so emotional all my daughter has ever wanted to do is be a "mummy" I remember an assembly at primary school where they were all asked what they wanted to be when they were grown up and in between the doctors, firemen, spaceman was my little girl with her "I want to be a mummy!" She's gown to be such a lovely caring woman and I'm so proud of her - she is a carer for her job and suits her down to a tee! And seeing her now with all her dreams coming true is just so wonderful and I'm so very very proud of her! But I don't quite think she's prepared for how much hard work is in store - but then I guess none of us were were we lol?!

Ahhh thanks for that Grannyknot - I'm sure I'll get the hang of it lol!! Took me a while to understand the kids text messages sometimes Hahahaha!!

firstly congratulations, you cant expect anything as all births are different. I was at my first grandaughters birth and it was a wonderful emotional experience. Just go with the flow.

Good luck Sarah, I was a nurse but kept my eyes tightly shut when I had my DC, didn't have a clue about what went on as I didn't have anybody with me either.

Good Luck *Sarah enjoy every moment.

Hello Sarah and welcome to Gransnet. I was birth partner for all 3 of my daughters which makes 6 times now. DD3 needed me both times having been abandoned by both the fathers of her sons and she was my first experience. It is something quite like any other.

Firstly, if your DD's partner is going to be there it might be a good idea to discuss how much input he would like you to have. It is important for you not to get in the way of his involvement. First time labours can be very long and slow, so being able to allow each other time out while ensuring your DD is still supported is useful. And do make sure you take some rest yourself. The last hour or 2 when DD goes through transition (when most mums feel at their worst) and the second stage is when you will need to support her most, so reserve your energy until then.

Re seeing your DD in pain, yes it is difficult but keep thinking of it as positive. I found that my mother's instinct to soothe and help in any way DD needed kicked in. I think you will find that the focus of your concern will be on how she feels, not on yourself.

As other posters have said, go with the flow. Every one of my DD's labours and births have been different.

Finally, be guided by the midwives who know what the are doing. If things are beginning to go pear shaped, which hopefully they don't, they will need you to back off quickly and keep calm.

And don't worry about crying. Most people do cry when the baby is born, partly from relief and partly because it is such a miracle to see a new baby arrive. I cried every time! Good luck and enjoy being a grandparent. Being at the birth is such a bonding experience. The baby will be very special to you.

Hi Sarah it will be fine, I was my DD's choice for 'birthing partner' too, if you are close to your daughter then who better than Mum to do it? It was a wonderful experience and I cut the umbilical cord! You will have a midwife there for the technical stuff.Let us know how it goes.?

No! Seems so wrong for the grandmother to be a birthing partner. The father, or, failing that, just the midwife.

She is not your "baby girl"! She is a woman.

As well as the things people have already said onele of the other important things I did was to ask questions of the medical staff in a more detached way. They were talking about a possible C Section at one time which I knew DD wanted to avoid if possible. I was able to ask if the baby was in distress/was DD in any danger etc. When answer was no,she is 'just'tired I was able to talk with DD to really see if she wanted to have C section or keep going. She chose to keep going with labour. I think she & partne may have felt pressured to say yes to c section straght away. As it was DGD arrived an hour or so later. Almost11 years ago now. Worth reading the NIHCE guidelines on delivery etc. beforehand to give u an idea of current "good" practice

Don't take offence if she changes her mind !I flew over when my DD rang , cost a fortune too . She welcomed me with open arms , it was a home birth , then rang her sister and asked her to get me out of the road ! No idea what happened , but it was all smiles and happy tears when we were finally allowed back so see the gorgeous baby

jbf if the woman in labour wants her mum there, which was the case for all my DDs' births, then that is where she should be. My DD3 needed me as in the first instance the father was not around, in the second instance the father, her husband, pissed off and left her to cope alone. Of course I was going to be there.

In the other cases SILs asked me to be there too. I never once asked to be there. It is an exhausting experience not to be taken on lightly. I didn't interfere with any decisions made and left them alone to bond after the birth (even though I was bursting for a cuddle). DD2 ended up having an emergency section and the baby breathed in meconium and was rushed to ICU. Thank goodness I was there. Both DD and SIL were distraught and I was able to support both of them.

Everyone's needs are different, so don't knock it.

I was there for 3 of DGC births, never occurred to anyone it wasn't appropriate!!

Cringe!

Well, the partners were useless tossers !!!!

I was there because DD2 knew her DP was a panicky pants an would not calm her! I am a bit no nonsense! She knew what she needed!! He was there too as was her sister......