New baby

Oh Jayney715, you seem in a pickle. I think the first grandchild is very special and like you I wondered how I could love subsequent grandchildren as much. But I do....we now have four with a fifth due in a fortnight (also having lost twin grandsons). I am totally overwhelmed with love for all of them but I think deep in the recesses if my heart number 1 grandchild has a special place although I would not admit this openly! I never had grandparents so I am finding the bond I have with the little ones absolutely amazing. I love the fact that my husband is so interactive with them too. Don't feel sad..it will work out.

Love is not a finite product, which has to be shared equally among all your loved ones, getting thinner and thinner the further it is spread. Quite the opposite - the more people you love, the more love you have. When your new GC is here you will find a brand new supply of love for him/her while the love you have for your first GC remains intact. There is no limit to the amount of love the human heart can hold . Enjoy your new little one.

There will always be a special place in your heart for your first grandchild because his/her arrival turned you into a grandparent but any future DGCs will bring just as much joy.

Jayney715 I know what you mean in fact I felt just like that when my second child was on the way.

My DGS1 was two and a bit when his little brother was born. I had got to know DGS1 well and he was old enough to have his own lovely personality. DGS2 is only 9mnth a usually jolly baby but he already seems a very different personality to his older brother.
The good feeling will come when you first pick up and hold the new little one.

Thank you xx

Jayney715 - Don't worry!

I felt the same when DC2 was on the way - I thought I could never love another baby as much as I love DC1. Then a wise friend, and mum of four, said 'Every child brings their own love with them when they are born'

It's true.

Thank you everyone. I am sure everything will be ok xx

Lovely post Indinana

Can't say anything better than what Indinana has written.

How beautifully you have put it Indinana.
I too felt the same before DD2 was born, and similarly before the birth of DGD2.

Well put Indinana. I don't think I ever had such reservations myself and I certainly have enough love for all my ever increasing family.

There is only 14 months between my two DC. When I was about 7 months pregnant with DD, I can remember so clearly a particular moment - I was walking upstairs, carrying my one year old DS. He was still, of course, very much a baby. As I climbed the stairs the unborn baby kicked strongly and it brought tears to my eyes to think that in two months this new baby would be demanding my attention, my love. All the attention and love that was my baby son's by rights. I actually felt jealous of the 'interloper' on behalf of my little boy.
Of course, when she was born that was when I realised that she brought her own supply of love with her.

That's right Indinana they do bring their own supply of love with them. My first grandchildren were twins so there was no question of a No1.The second 2 are equally loved although I did wonder if they would be as we don't see them as much.

I'm quite sure you'll fall head over heels when the new baby is born. However, I do have similar worries if we are lucky enough to have another GC. The one we have is 2 but was born prematurely and very small so there was added worry surrounding her birth. She has been so fortunate to have no real problems. The circumstances of her birth mean that she is extra special to us I think, even more than if she'd had a normal full-term birth.
If DD was to have another it would obviously be a concern of the same thing happening again as I think the probability is 50/50.
On balance, I would like another wee bundle to love though ... and number 2 would surely be special too! ?

This is similar to how I felt when my second grandchild was on the way. I have just one child, a son, for the same reason, i.e. I could never imagine loving another child as much as him, and fell head over heels for my grandson when he was born.
When my granddaughter was born two years later I could not get close to her for ages, especially as my DIL kept her very much to herself (she was breastfed only for the first six months unlike my grandson, who was passed around from day one).
She is now 5 and we are starting to get closer, but I cannot say that I love her as much as my grandson, although I would never admit this to the children.
There is now another little girl on the way, due in May (unplanned, unexpected, but now very much wanted) and quite strangely I find myself hugely looking forward to her. She feels like a bonus baby, something I never thought would happen, and I will make the most of it.

I think I must be a bit of a PollyAnna .....I think babies bring their own love. You will be able to love two the same as one. Every child has its own appeal and personality.

I have 3GC and love them all. Number four in March, great.

We only had one child too Jayney and felt rather like you. Our first grandchild born almost 5 years ago is the love of our life, however when we knew grandchild no 2 was on the way we had very mixed feelings.

Three years later I can tell you that GS2 is fabulous, very different from GS1 and I wouldn't be without either of them. It will work out, just give it time.

We have only one grandchild whom we love to distraction, and there won't be anymore, but I hope that if there had been, we would have loved them with the same intensity. Having said that, my father had a special place in his heart just for my eldest nephew, the first of his thirteen grandchildren. You could see it when they were together. But that didn't mean he didn't love the others. Although he really never had the opportunity to get to know mine very well, he made a tremendous fuss of them on the few occasions he did see them. Janey715 revel in the joy both your grandchildren will bring you!

We are fortunate enough to have 7 DGC and we love them all. We have happy memories of the days of their births and are loving watching them all grow and become different people. Of course you will relate to different children in different ways as they are all different personalities even within the same family, but that doesn't mean that you love them less. The idea of babies bringing love with them is a beautiful one, and so true. You will be overwhelmed with that love again, jayney715! Don't worry, as there is nothing you can do (apart form supporting your DD, which I am sure you are already doing) before the DGC is born. Relax, sit back and have a and get on with enjoying your first DGC!

Janey, if the only reason you stuck at having one child yourself, was because you were afraid you didn't have enough love for a second, I feel deeply sad for what you missed.
I can clearly remember being scared in the 9th month that I could never love my second child the way I loved my first, but I was told that love just expands and stretches to infinity. And it does.
2 sons and 5 grandchildren later.... oh yes. It DOES.

I am so lucky to have 9 grandchildren - sorry if that sounds greedy, but they spring from my 4 children!. I do love them all, but there is one with whom, the moment I held her, a bond was formed and, although I would never admit it to my other grandchildren, she is the centre of my life. The bond is mutual as was mine with my maternal Grandma. But as each grandchild arrived I loved him or her - so don't worry Jayney - babies have this way of entering our hearts the moment we see them!

I understand how you feel, I felt like that when expecting DD2. This year I wondered if I could love our first GS after two DDs and four GDs but I just love them all so much and am quite besotted with our first little boy. As many have said, there is no limit on love and you will be surprised that you will love the new baby as much as the first. Enjoy.

There are so many comments from grandparents of several that I fully agree with. My first DGS is certainly special to me, partly because his birth led to post natal depression in my DD who went from being a ferociously independent young woman to needing her Mum. So I spent much time with him in his first few months. All our DGC live 160+ miles away and last weekend we met DGD2 for only the fourth time in six months, each visit being short. However, all these littlies are very special - each in their own way, with their own strong personalities and stages of development. Enjoy!

Don't worry we have 4 grandchildren love them all to bits and all so different. But have to say the first born will always be just a little bit more special. Friends I have spoken to about this all seem to have I grandchild that pulls on the heart strings just that little bit more than the others. You will be fine enjoy ?