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New baby

(67 Posts)
Jayney715 Thu 21-Jan-16 22:31:06

Our DD has a 22 mths old gorgeous girl.Our first Grandchild. She is expecting another in July. I can't describe how I feel. I struggle to feel excited. I can't imagine loving another grandchild like I do our first one. That is why we only had one child. Please help. This makes me feel so sad ???

PenJK50 Sat 23-Jan-16 09:18:12

We have now got six glorious grandchildren, the last two being unexpected twins - a boy and a girl. I can't describe how much more love each individual child brings to our lives. We appreciate them more each time we see them, which luckily is very often.

I could never have anticipated that love could grow and grow but that's what it does.

cujimmy Sat 23-Jan-16 09:32:31

Dont worry, you will love your next grandchild just as much. Love for them multiplies with each one, I have 4 grandchildren aged 6 years down to 2 weeks old, and I love them all the same. I feel blessed that I have been given 4 chances to give my love to a child again. You think you can never love a child more than your own, but you can when your grandchildren come along

annifrance Sat 23-Jan-16 09:32:47

I too thought my first grandchild would have a special place, but no - I love all three absolutely to bits and equally. They are all totally different so possibly that makes it easier. I cannot imagine ever loving one less than the other.

missdeke Sat 23-Jan-16 09:38:37

I have 7 grandchildren and I adore them all, the more you have the more love you have for them. They are all different, different good points and some not so good points but that's what makes them all so special. I do have one that I feel more 'attached' to than the others and he/she is not the first, and it's circumstances that has made it so, nothing to do with loving one more than the others.

townie Sat 23-Jan-16 09:46:56

I'm in a similar position to you,OP. Particularly hard to imagine you will love the new arrival as much as your present DGC if, like you and me, you only had one child yourself. I'm looking forward to the birth of the second this spring but it feels strange too.
But I've always heard that love expands for new children rather than having to be spread thinner and the posts on here are very reassuring.

granpiano Sat 23-Jan-16 09:55:07

You first grandchild is always special by the fact they are your first and it is exciting. I saw my first being born and that was special too, I have three others and they are all special because they all have different characters and I love them because of these characters.
I would add just enjoy them and don't worry about your feelings, because two of my grandkids have been taken out of my life by my daughter and her new partner and I am so glad I enjoyed the 11 years I was allowed with my first born grandkid.

dorsetpennt Sat 23-Jan-16 09:56:43

When I was expecting my second child I worried about loving it as much as I did my first. Then when my second grand child was on its way I had the same concern. However, the heart has room to love as much as you want . Of course I loved my daughter as much as my son , and my second granddaughter the same.

pamgran Sat 23-Jan-16 09:57:07

I read the question and wondered what you were on about. I now have seven grand children from three of my four children plus 2 sreat-grand children. They are all wonderful; different characters,; and very interesting to know. Enjoy!

DotMH1901 Sat 23-Jan-16 10:00:40

I have three grandchildren in the UK who I have been involved with since they were born - and I love each of them (even though my grandson is now at the grumpy teenager stage!). They are different in personality but each has a special place in my heart. My son went to the US and married there, I have a granddaughter in the US who I have never seen in person, only photos etc, but I still think about her too - hopefully when she is older we will be able to get to know each other better.

annodomini Sat 23-Jan-16 10:02:50

Love all five and each one is special in a different way.

annifrance Sat 23-Jan-16 10:08:49

Re grumpy teenager that communicate by Neanderthal grunts - it is possible and allowed to love unconditionally but not to like (temporarily one hopes) at the same time.

craftygran Sat 23-Jan-16 10:22:34

We are very blessed and our 26th DGC is due in April. I love them all dearly, they all have different personalities and all are special in their own way. The first born has a special place in my heart but so do four of the others for various reasons. But they are all treated equally and I never give to one if I can't give to the others. My 4th DGGC is due in June too, lots of love to go around.

Chris1603 Sat 23-Jan-16 10:25:40

Hard to imagine loving someone you have never met. But you will look into the face of that new born grandchild and you will be smitten I have no doubt.

morethan2 Sat 23-Jan-16 11:02:42

I too remember thinking I'd never love my second child as much as my first. It's our first experience of 'mothers love' and can be overwhelming. Of course I did, right from the moment I heard her first cry. I now have 8 grandchildren and love them all. Each and everyone has bought their own special kind of love with them and given it to me to share.

Smithy Sat 23-Jan-16 11:10:47

Its very true what Jalima says, babies bring their love with them. My late mum used to say that and I thought it was an old wives saying, but it is so so true believe me.

Bennan Sat 23-Jan-16 11:12:44

We have two GS's, one is 12 and the other is 4 going on 20! We love them both very much and they return that love in spades. Even our 12 year old, although now a 'tweeny' and about to enter the grunt stage will avoid hugging unless you catch him unawares when he will squeeze back. No. 2 is a pistol and is endlessly affectionate and as he leaves insists that he will miss us so much! We have never had any difficulty in feeling the love and as everyone has said it just expands and fills you up and spills over. Have no fear you will be swamped with wonderful feelings when you see the new little one for the first time. ENJOY!!

Cath9 Sat 23-Jan-16 12:08:54

Jayney think of all those poor ladies who would dearly love to be in your positiion, but for some reason their offspring have not been able to conceive.
You will not only get hugs and love from one but two.

I have two but one is only three and lives in NZ with my son and daughter-in-law. So I am more like a face on Skype, as she is often with her other grandma. Both daughters-in-law have trouble furtilizing, so it seems they will keep to one each, which is not a shame as my dear husband died a few years ago.

seadragon Sat 23-Jan-16 12:29:46

My mother-in-law told me that babies bring their own love with them when I expressed concern about my ability to love our second child as much as our first and I discovered this to be true as Lullydully suggests. However, circumstances and personalities (ours and the children's) do come into it. For example we know we will always have a special relationship with our granddaughter as we helped bring her for the first 3 years of her life. We now live far away and there is a little brother for her. We will only see them once a year for a short time from now on so it is unlikely that we will get to know the new little person so well. I'm not comfortable with Skype/Facetime so we'll just have to make the most of our time together and find ways of maintaining meaningful contact with them as they grow up.

Samie Sat 23-Jan-16 12:59:14

I think I felt the same when the second GC was expected - not excited etc - but I couldn't have been more wrong - once they are born and later start developing their own character, you will find that you love them just as much. You don't run out of love - your heart gets bigger to love them all.

Evertheoptimist Sat 23-Jan-16 13:38:10

DD2 is expecting 2nd baby in 8 weeks time. When I was with her this morning she was in bits, worrying that she won't love this baby as much as their 2 year old. I keep telling her all will be fine but her hormones are playing havoc. I remember feeling the same way during my 2nd pregnancy.
DD2 had a little boy just 3 weeks ago (her 1st) I adore him already. The love just keeps coming!

Lyneve Sat 23-Jan-16 14:08:47

Love is a very wonderful thing. It just grows. As you have more GC to love the love grows to encompass all of them.

My GC have queried if I can love them all so I explain that love grows as each new GC comes along so I have plenty of love for all of them. Then we have a big hug and get on with life feeling loved.

Enjoy your new love for you new CG.

NonnaAnnie Sat 23-Jan-16 14:11:07

I felt the same as you when I was expecting my second child, it terrified me, but three children and six grandchildren later I can assure you that you have more than enough love to go around. I have another grandchild due in March, and I can't wait. Just chill and enjoy.

quizqueen Sat 23-Jan-16 14:13:36

Another topic but even though I am now on my fourth cat over the years, I haven't felt the same overwhelming love for the other cats which I had for my first pet. I was worried when I was pregnant with my second child that my relationship would never be the same again with my first born who had had my full attention. 30 years plus down the line my older daughter is still jealous of her sister but that feeling is not reciprocated by the younger one. I can only accept that the love for each one is different, not necessarily stronger or weaker.

NanaRayna Sat 23-Jan-16 15:15:12

I've six grandchildren. The oldest is 22 and the youngest six. I love all of them, but my very favourite is the fourth grandchild...... So yes, you CAN love the later editions just as much as the first!

Sadiesnan Sat 23-Jan-16 16:18:17

When our first child is born I think we all feel overwhelmed with love for them. Those of us who have a second wonder how we can possibly find more love for the new baby, but we do. I have three sons and couldn't love them more as each is special and loved equally. So in the blink of an eye, or so it seems, I have four grandchildren. All special and all loved equally. Don't worry it will happen.