Yeah, I'm afraid Jaima is right, op. If you tell your dil off, you risk making her an enemy. Be firm, yes, but be polite.
Maybe that's why dds sometimes get away with more, Jaima, because there's a sense of love there. I wouldn't take it from my dd though. If she starts to get pushy with me in any way, I let her know it's not all right. I don't give her unsolicited advice, and I don't accept it from her either.
Also, on the flip side, some moms can tell their dds off without worry because they know they'll still have a loving relationship after. But not all, of course.