New grandchild & feeling guilty

Has your husband always been selfish and petulant?

Definitely stay. You only get one chance at something like this.

Your husband will just have to cope as will your daughter and parents.

And when you get home if your decision is queried etc or guilt tripped dont join in. You can just say "It felt like the right decision for both me and them. I don't regret it" If you hear about any impact on others like the difficulty without the car or whatever just say. "Oh well thanks for coping!" Then change the subject or remove yourself.

I dont know if your husband is a sulker? If he is say above and then ignore it!

Definitely stay and try not to let anything spoil this lovely time with the new baby and family. Instead of letting your husband put his guilt trip on you, you might use any spare time you have to think of how your life has evolved with him. Things change, sometimes hardly noticed, but can creep into patterns that you really dont want. We can all have our off days and need a little extra support but having this space may help you to look at how your "normal" days go now and then you might look back and see that several less than helpful or pleasant things have crept in. If your daughter at home is not still in junior school then it will do them both good to be responsible for themselves and realize how much you do for them, and that they should be responsible for themselves. If they dont know how to cook a meal, find their own clothes and do a bit of washing or cleaning up then it is about time they started!!

Then bide your time, when you get home and just watch how life unfolds and how things go with your new grandchild. When you see how the land lies, then you might look at what you feel would suit you and fit in to the general pattern, and then make arrangements accordingly. So you might find out the train or coach times to visit them, look into the cost of a railcard etc, if you plan to visit them regularly. If the lack of the car really is an obstacle for your husband say due to work, but he could also look into other ways of travelling. You are meant to be a partnership giving and taking. Not that he takes priority in all things.

Is it easy and convenient to stay with them, or could you look into finding a reasonable b/b close by, where you could spend time with the family but also have a bit of peace and quiet for yourself. Check up on the chinese, and cafes and fish and chip shops in the locality, to give you an easy quick meal. Get the menus from the ones near your home and put them in the drawer for your husband to use if he wants!

You could use this as a good moment to reflect on your life, see if there are some things that you always wanted to do, but with family life never got round to doing. Maybe it will lead to you and your husband finding new interests to share, or at least appreciating time with each other, from choice not just doing the same old routine ad nauseum. This lovely new chapter in your life should be enjoyed and remember to take lots of photos for you to look back on in the future. The rest of the family will be grateful for your help and sharing in this special time. Dont allow your husband to spoil it and you have no need to feel guilty in the least. Come back to us here to remind you of this if he persists in his toddler behaviour, saying Me Me Me Enjoy yourself and make the most of every special day

Op

What do you want to do?

Your post is all about what you do for others.

No your husband is being selfish and interfering with your peace of mind. You could encourage him to think about people who have lost everything and everyonr in natural disasters or war but probably best to pretend you wish you were with him then forget all about him for the rest of the week.

Stay! A bit late for him to be complaining about the short space between the little ones. A precious time. And they are trusting you with it, a privilege as well as a burden surely? He chose to leave he could still be with you?

Definitely stay. Precious time with the newborn and your other grandchild. The new parents need support at this changing time in their lives, your husband will cope!

No need to feel guilty, it’s only another few days and if you are happy then stay.

If it were me, I'd ask what my husband was missing about me not being there and take my stand from there. To be fair to the husband, we don't know his circumstances. Being stuck without a car in an urban area is doable. Living in the back of beyond, not so much. If he made me feel guilty and I thought he was being unfair, I would tell him that. After many years together, you should be able to have that conversation without angst. If you can't, maybe there's a bigger problem.
I can't imagine my husband making a fuss about me being away for the sake of my children. He would leave that decision to me. He might say he missed me, even moan about being stranded without the car but he would support my decision. I would accept his need to express his niggles but because I know he is actually very caring at heart, I would not feel guilty. If he made me feel like that, I would tell him and I can guarantee he would apologise, tell me that wasn't his intention before reiterating I should do what I felt was for the best.

I can only agree with everyone else. Time to support your family and enjoy your grandchildren as very precious. Husband can wait.
Just a thought, DH went off on the train leaving the car with you. He must have realised he'd have to manage without it for a while.

It is your choice. Not your husband’s. I’m sure he can manage a bit longer. Sound like he might be a bit jelly.

I agree , stay and hopefully enjoy your time with them.
I would have been made up to help out but was never asked, although I did take meals around.
And big congrats 💐

The language he used was overtly manipulative toward her and disparaging toward his son and DIL. We don’t know the full story but there are red flags here. He is aware of his ability to survive without the car, hence suggesting the train. Car issue isn’t enough to convince her so then he turns to guilt-tripping about “missing” the OP. The fact that such a small issue caused the OP to post about it indicates a larger issue with this husband. Healthy marriages don’t entail one partner competing with their own offspring for their spouse’s attention and I think the OP knows this or she wouldn’t have sought outside perspective.

Can you suggest that your husband hires a car if he needs one for work or for driving your daughter.around.
It's kind of nice to be missed, but not in a controlling way.
Definitely stay and feel glad that your DS and DiL trust you at this time.

1. Stay. If your husband misses you so much, he can come back- and spend time with his new grandchild! And please treasure this time and recognize how blessed you are to be well enough- and loved so much- to be able to do this. No guilt!
2. She may have a bit of post-partum depression (and there's something called pre-partum depression, too) and I suggest an open, loving talk about this with him and/or her. Here in America, the stigma around this very common experience is lifting. She may really need you.
3. Can you help her find some resources? Walking groups would give her and older child social opportunities that are less germy- and "forest walks" are great for us all.
4. I remember this time with my own kids, a husband who had to work (even overtime), and no family nearby. I was exhausted- but exhilirated. I hope the same is so for her.
Blessings to all!

Stay..Definitely .

Yes do stay,its only a few days,after all,your hubby CHOSE to return home.He's acting like a big baby.

Lol.*typo- acting like a big baby.

Husband's are replaceable (especially selfish ones), children and grandchildren aren't.

Congratulations on your grandbaby number 2 - I'm sure hubby can take care of himself for a few more days or he could get the train to go back and help you! Tell him to put his big boy pants on and if he stays home he can plan something nice to do for you both on your return - that should keep him occupied

the arrival of a grandchild is a wonderful thing! I helped for several weeks with 4 of my grandchildren and it is now part of the 'story' of their lives - and mine! Those early weeks are so hard for the young parents that your help will mean a lot. I hope your husband will find a way to cope - but he is an adult and i hope too that he will see that this is a unique time for the family descended from you both.

ASHANTY - Stay ... frankly your husband deserves a kick up the proverbial for returning home just because baby takes her own time to arrive. Only last week we had a post about an adult daughter decreeing no visits for x months from g.parents so that she and daddy can bond with the baby - utter rubbish in terms of evidence that this makes any difference. You have a wonderful dil who wants you to help, who sees your value and who will always be grateful and bonded with you. Bounce that guilt right back at hubby and enjoy your time. I'd much rather be in your shoes than in the those of grandparents who are kept at bay.

Stop feeling guilty. You are free to do as you wish. I would stay.

It is a privilege to be asked to stay and help the young family.
My daughter was glad of help before her second child was born but then wanted time as a new family after a couple of days.
My husband came to say hello but then returned to his own activities, with no pressure on me- but we each had our own car. He wouldn’t have left me with the only car!
Stay as long as you can.

STAY! You are so lucky to have been asked to stay. My eldest son and also my daughter didn’t want me near them when they had their children. Your husband is being unreasonable and blooming childish. You will be back with him soon enough! Don’t feel bullied out of this one. Hugs. 🤗