Limericks with very strict rules (4) - 88558

A parakeet I now have bought
The gift of the gab it has caught
It simply won't stop,
Neighbour called the cop,

A parakeet I now have bought
The gift of the gab it has caught
It simply won't stop,
Neighbour called the cop,
I wonder by whom it was taught

A tortoise is easy to keep

A tortoise is easy to keep
Not noisy and mostly, asleep

A tortoise is easy to keep
Not noisy and mostly,asleep
A cosy brown shell

A tortoise is easy to keep
Not noisy and mostly,asleep
A cosy brown shell
And really no smell

A tortoise is easy to keep
Not noisy and mostly asleep
A cosy brown shell
And really no smell
And from him there’s never a peep.

I used to own a terrapin

I used to own a terrapin
Which, strangely, had a double chin

I used to own a terrapin
Which, strangely, had a double chin
It stood in the way

I used to own a terrapin
Which, strangely, had a double chin
It stood in the way
And one step took all day

I used to own a terrapin
Which, strangely, had a double chin
It stood in the way
One step took all day
But once in the water he’d win

If I could be eighteen once more

If I could be eighteen once more
I would be a rebel for sure

If I could be eighteen once more
I would be a rebel for sure
I’d not be daunted

If I could be eighteen once more
I would be a rebel for sure
I’d not be daunted
Tho I was haunted

If I could be eighteen once more
I would be a rebel for sure
I’d not be daunted
Tho I was haunted
By fear of just being a bore.

My peacock is screaming tonight

My peacock is screaming tonight
He drank too much gin and got tight!

My peacock is screaming tonight
He drank too much gin and got tight!
Did he strut and pout?

My peacock is screaming tonight
He drank too much gin and got tight!
Did he strut and pout?
And scare all about?

My peacock is screaming tonight
He drank too much gin and got tight!
Did he strut and pout?
And s are all about?
And show off his feathers all night

I’d rather look after a cat

S are= scare

I'd rather look after a cat
They look down at us and that's that

I’d rather look after a cat
They look down at us, and that’s that
But they’ll always purrrrrrrrr

I’d rather look after a cat
They look down at us, and that’s that
But they’ll always purrrrrrrrr
And snap at the cur

I’d rather look after a cat
They look down at us, and that’s that
But they’ll always purrrrrrrrr
And snap at the cur
And catch the odd mouse or rat.

A person called Percy from Perth

A person called Percy from Perth
Aroused many feelings of mirth

A person called Percy from Perth
Aroused many feelings of mirth
He dressed like an elf