Gransnet forums

Estrangement

Calling all adult children

(154 Posts)
Beescrete Fri 16-Oct-26 20:10:01

I am here for many reasons. I want to hear and learn from people in a similar situation. I want to talk with people who understand the pain I'm in. I want constructive advice, including from EPs to improve my relationship.

I started sharing a few days ago and every troll has been an EC who just wants to hate EPs.

To be clear, on past threads, I have seen EPs describe ECs in terrible ways and exhibit generally bad behavior.

But on my thread it was fellow ACs who couldn't help but take a cruel swipe at the EPs who were trying to help me.

Can we find a common purpose where we offer honest and genuine advice to each other without resorting to cruelty?

Beescrete Fri 16-Oct-26 20:22:17

When I see a new post from an EP or someone close to being an EP my thought is, if they want to reconcile, what advice can I offer that will help. If they are ready to give up, how can I support them in estrangement.

stillawipp Fri 16-Oct-26 21:32:12

Ditto, we all come at it from different angles - EP, EAC, newly estranged, long-term estranged, shakily reconciled, fully reconciled etc , and we all have different perspectives to speak from. All views should be considered valid and equal, and worthy of consideration and respect. Nobody is senior to anyone else on here, nobody owns this forum, & nobody should be made to feel like an unwelcome outsider. Debate is healthy and helpful, rudeness and personal insults are not.

Franski Fri 16-Oct-26 21:55:39

In terms of dealing with the pain of estranged children, I say ' keep the light on' -never close off the the hope that they will want to build a bridge back to you.....but at the same time, keep living your life. Don't nurse grudges, remember and repeat all the awaful things said. Try to look ahead and believe things can change. But that it will take time xx

Cossy Fri 16-Oct-26 22:04:10

stillawipp

Ditto, we all come at it from different angles - EP, EAC, newly estranged, long-term estranged, shakily reconciled, fully reconciled etc , and we all have different perspectives to speak from. All views should be considered valid and equal, and worthy of consideration and respect. Nobody is senior to anyone else on here, nobody owns this forum, & nobody should be made to feel like an unwelcome outsider. Debate is healthy and helpful, rudeness and personal insults are not.

Well said flowers

Careen125 Sat 17-Oct-26 00:14:12

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Allsorts Sat 17-Oct-26 05:03:43

Careen, what a dreadful post. Did it make you feel better? You have serious issues that need addressing.

Bridey Sat 17-Oct-26 06:46:38

Whippersnapper, if there is one person and her posts you should avoid its violet sky...hence why she is banned from GN.

eddiecat78 Sat 17-Oct-26 08:03:33

Bridey

Whippersnapper, if there is one person and her posts you should avoid its violet sky...hence why she is banned from GN.

The only person who frequently mentioned neurodivegence was Violetsky herself - who used it as an explanation for having been highly offensive towards other posters (and it was her own offensive behaviour which led to her being banned - she did not choose to stop posting)

stillawipp Sat 17-Oct-26 08:05:48

Sorry….confused….who is Whippersnapper?

Bridey Sat 17-Oct-26 08:44:06

No she was banned for being ,cruel, offensive and nasty using her mental health as a defence is not right as she was warned many times and came back under false user names to continue her diatribe.

Bridey Sat 17-Oct-26 08:46:40

I think tne poster Careen125 was using the word Wippersnapper" as a joke???

Smileless2012 Sat 17-Oct-26 08:49:09

I think it's Beescrete Careen's referring too as Whippersnapper stillawipp.

The only person who frequently mentioned neurodivergent was Violetsky herself indeed eddiecat. she did not choose to stop posting and I suspect that once again has returned with another name so I'm reporting my suspicions regarding Careen to GNHQ.

The regular posters on this forum who are in the main EP's have always tried to maintain a place of safety, understanding and support for anyone who contributes regardless of whether they've been estranged or the one who has estranged.

EAC taking a cruel swipe at the EP's posting here is sadly 'power for the course^ and we've weathered many a storm here over the years. We've even had new threads being started with the sole purpose of EP bashing.

Those of us who've desired to do so have found a common purpose where we offer honest and genuine advice to each another without resorting to cruelty. There will always be some whose anger and bitterness due to their own situation and experiences means they are unwilling/unable to do so.

stillawipp Sat 17-Oct-26 09:21:37

👍🏼

Careen125 Sat 17-Oct-26 09:25:27

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Smileless2012 Sat 17-Oct-26 09:42:49

Well I'm not as nice that made me laugh because she wasn't nice at all and she was banned, banned twice, the second time as Violetsky and has been back numerous times over the past 2 years with the 'same old, same old'.

Strange that you have so many 'memories' of a poster who was banned for the second time 2 years ago and you only appeared on GN 2 days ago.

I have asked GNHQ to look this.

eddiecat78 Sat 17-Oct-26 10:09:44

Just to point out that you cannot find VioletSky's entire post history because Gransnet deleted a great deal of it (for breaching forum rules)

Careen125 Sat 17-Oct-26 12:54:58

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Smileless2012 Sat 17-Oct-26 13:02:44

Yes that's right eddiecat and a good job too.

eddiecat78 Sat 17-Oct-26 13:05:57

I can't decide if Careen125 is VioletSky or is just deluded. Either way I won't be engaging with her further

Smileless2012 Sat 17-Oct-26 13:15:28

I suspect she is VioletSky and have contacted GNHQ eddiecat. She just can't seem to stay away can she sad.

AGAA4 Sat 17-Oct-26 13:50:01

Whoever careen is her posts are very unpleasant.
I'm glad you have contacted GNHQ smileless .

Careen125 Sat 17-Oct-26 14:16:49

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Smileless2012 Sat 17-Oct-26 14:25:25

Her posts could be respectful, kind and considerate unfortunately they could be anything but, and it was those that got her banned twice.

As you've said, if anyone's curious they can view her posts for themselves but those of us who remember them all to well and were on the receiving end of her cruel, offensive and nasty behaviour don't need too; we remember.

Hithere Sat 17-Oct-26 14:33:31

Violetsky gave a very honest and from the heart apology, if anybody remembers.

Memory is selective, as usual.

This thread is a prime example why EPs and AE cannot talk in the same thread - sadly

It may start ok but it does not end well - personal attacks, insults, calling each other troll

It is a futile exercise.