Calling all adult children

Allsorts

Sometimes a loving parent has to estrange, in the case of financial and elderly abuse, gambling and addiction, mental health issues. What Diamond Lil described is a reason to estrange. No one should be abused. I haven't experienced it but I can see why some parents need to protect themselves. Sometimes only one is to blame, its ridiculous suggesting that
parents are responsible for life choices adult children make.
Do not judge a situation until you know the facts.

I work in the addiction treatment field, back of the house not client work, and I've met so many families that had no choice but to cut off their children. ACs stealing from their younger siblings to supply their habit is not uncommon. It is so painful to see these parents put in the position to cut off their loved child.

An update on my no longer estranged but often regretting it situation:
Being sick was a huge challenge. While there is a caretaker who comes for 3-4 hours, 3 days a week to chat and help with cleaning tasks, my mom was frustrated by my lack of engagement. I was lacking in patience because I felt like sh**, and didn't want to go to her apartment to potentially give her the flu before she's had her shot. She had no concern for my health and discomfort and was just annoyed that I wasn't there for her. I was again asking myself why did I restart this relationship.

Today I'm feeling better and we watched two episodes of Love is Blind together in her apartment. I left on a high note before anything could turn sour. A win in my book!

I meant to post this on my estrangement thread but I'll leave it because I don't think it's too of topic and deleting here is hard😂

A definite win Beescrete .

Unfortunately with those who cannot see beyond their own needs and desires, even when the one whose there for them and helps them the most is ill, they can only see how this impacts on them.

Did you tell her that you'd felt like sh** and the reason you hadn't been round was because she hadn't had her flu vaccination and you were concerned about her catching it from you? I hope so because even though she maybe incapable to taking it on board, I'm sure you'd have felt better for saying so.

I had a friend many years ago who eventually kicked her eldest son out because his drug addiction meant he was stealing from her and his younger siblings, as well as frightening them with his outbursts of rage.

It was heartbreaking to witness her heart ache and the guilt she had for being unable to help him.

You have to carry on with your life, whoevever suffers estrangement, keep busy and keep the door open, people sometimes do bad things but with time and distance realise that and are open to reuniting. Many do not and its permanent. It takes both sides to be honest with each other and re evalue expectations. I would find it very hard to forgive my parents if they had abused me I know that.
Glad Beescrete you have reconciled with your mother, she is lonely, old and crotchety at times, but you seem to negotiate that well and that's to your credit.