Ruler Of The World (lighthearted)

This has instantly brought to memory Harry Seacombe’s If I Ruled the World, which if I were ruler would have me waving my wand and hoping that the lyrics would come true, banishing all that’s scary along with all the annoyances too

Other than political things, I would ban whingeing about how bad things are in the UK, and I’d ban idiots who drive massive high vehicles with main beam on from driving anything bigger or more upmarket than a Fiat Panda. I would also impose a ban on all spiders and flying insects coming into peoples homes.

Galaxy

We better not be in charge foxie, we would end up in a cycle of banning. We are probably secret authoritarians.

If I was going to be "Ruler of the world" I'd need to be an obvious authoritarian or no one would do as I said, so it's very unlikely I'd succeed in getting anything banned.

Too late. The buffoon has claimed the title.

I would ban Elvis impersonators. Some fat bloke thinks if he puts on a white jump suit, a black wig and some comedy black sideburns and suddenly he looks like Elvis? I think not! Let's see you try and impersonate him in his prime! Honestly, hangings too good for them!

I would banish Putin to desolate Siberia.

I would ban hands free mobile phones. I really hate having to listen to everyone else's conversations.
Im wearing a tin hat to say I'd also ban artificial grass. Looks dreadful in my opinion.

I would degree that iced doughnuts would henceforth contain no calories.
That half the population of the world were sent to colonise another planet.
That every town and city centre contained a beautiful sculpture and fountain ( as in other European countries)
Plus plentiful benches.
That dog owners and their pooches must only sit outside pubs cafes and restaurants.Living dangerously on here now aren’t I?😁

@Gracie. You get my vote!

I agree with lots of these. I’d add that all TV’s, cars and tech should operate in the same way, so you didn’t have to remember exactly how each item worked. We’ll have the same plugs & sockets all round the world, while I’m at it. And tablets that pop instantly out of their packaging, instead of needing to wield a knife and ending up with slash injuries on your hand while trying to liberate them.

And all showers would work the same way, so I need never get scalded/frozen in one again.

I think I would ban almost all avances in computer technology that have taken place since about 2010.

Going further 'just because we can' isn't necessarily a good thing on any level, from personal to global. In fact, quite the opposite!

Sorry about the typo.

And on reflexion, I might have slightly overlooked your "lighthearted" intention, Cossy, as I genuinely would like to put the brakes on this sector!!! 😊

I'd ban dogs from beaches and town centres and parks and everywhere else that they irritate me. Actually I'd ban dogs full stop (ok, except for assistance dogs) but I know that would probably get me banned from Gransnet.

I'd ban anyone making poor quality copies of Cornish pasties. How very dare they!

Also I'd ban ageing.

Shysal, I agree with you completely. That would make everything else come right.

Cossy Brilliant! I totally agree with all your choices.

I would ban AI. It's scary I would ban the last 50 years, because things are a lot worse than they used to be when I was in my early 20s. I would ban mobile phones because they are like Pandora's box. They have become too powerful and often used for horrible purposes. I would ban cars that go over 70 miles an hour. There are far too many accidents, especially caused by show off boy racers

I’d also like to ban car park apps. No two car parks seem to use the same app so you pop into a nearby town and spend the first goodness knows how long downloading the relevant app so you can pay.

I would pass a law that all toys had to be made of natural materials, that parents get to parent, and not work full time, that January be totally canceled,and if anybody says "Can I get a Latte" a huge claxon goes off and everybody laughs.

This is a fun one.
I would ban everybody who thinks l love their dog slobbering over me from ever being in slobbering distance.
I would ban people talking on their mobiles loudly in public places especially on speakerphone.
Christmas in September banned and Easter in January.
Parents ignoring children to talk inanely on mobiles.
Children being allowed their own seat on buses whilst elderly have to stand.

I would like to ban all power tools, or make it mandatory for them to have a silencer. House next door being completely re-built, we are in month 7 of 10 and its hell. Power tools all day, every day. Why are they so noisy? Motorbikes nearly as bad. I swear people in this neighbourhood were riding round and round in circles most of the night all summer. Fireworks will be allowed, but only if they dont make a loud noise. No giant rockets, or things that sound like World War 3. As you can see I long for a bit of peace and quiet.

Cossy must continually think of things to contribute to, on all subjects. She always has ideas.

I would like to ban bad health of any kind especially really bad illnesses. Ban protest marches of any ilk! Ban trouble making dictators of any country. I would also like to ban my nasty trouble causing neighbour from being able to see into my garden spying each time I go to feed my small birds. Sure she is just waiting for me to drop one crumb of food near a pigeon so she can complain again! Lots of other things need banning but then we would have nothing to moan about would we?

I would ban any male authority over females and children, in all aspects of life and work.

Nanny27

I’d also like to ban car park apps. No two car parks seem to use the same app so you pop into a nearby town and spend the first goodness knows how long downloading the relevant app so you can pay.

I agree with that 100%