Calling round later.

Presuming you have a contact for this friend, ask him what time roughly, as you have things to do in the meantime.

It's not unreasonable to expect a time stated for a visit.

I no longer have friends that ‘drop in’ I used to when I was young and it didn’t bother me, but it hasn’t happened for a long time and it would bother me now, I like to know where I am and where I stand.

I should have done that at the time.

I’m afraid I’ve become very anxious and a bit annoyed with “non” plans and random drop-ins.

When younger, fitter and less grumpy, I used to love it, I just don’t feel the same now.

I’d text him.

drives me spare

Send a text as you might have to pop out

I don't like vague plans either. Sometimes people don't turn up at all and then arrive unexpectedly on another day.
I always want to know what later means. Could be 3pm or 10pm?

I am just grateful that most of my friends are still here and able to pop round as and when. If I have no other plans, friends are always welcome.

An excuse for a catch up, coffee, tea and/or wine 🍷☕️🫖

Me too GG13 😃

I don’t like it either I’ve stayed in two many days waiting. I can’t settle to anything if I know someone is coming.
I always ask now, and pin them down to at least morning or afternoon so at least the whole day isn’t wasted.

I like to know . Not that they wouldn’t be welcome but I can’t settle and am on edge , can’t get down to anything thinking they’ll be arriving. (Or not). 😤

Unless I was going out it wouldn’t bother me.

I need to know when, otherwise I can’t relax. Preferably after 1pm. 😃

Me to GG. My awful MIL wanted me to arrive spot on at a certain time - not easy with 2 little ones to get ready. Even saying ‘teatime’ didn’t suit her!! It wasn’t as if she had anything prepared anyway.

I agree. I just carry on as normal. If you happen to be home when and if he calls, then put the kettle on .

A neighbour called when I was out recently. She phoned to tell me she had called. I had not been expecting her so I tried explaining that I do go out sometimes 😉

Turned out she wanted to use my printer. It doesn't work so I sent her to the library.
None so strange as folk.

Just wish someone would pop in to see me.

Yes, beachcomber76- same here.

Today my GC opened some of her cards and gifts from last week (we only see her Sundays) I got her to write out two thankyou cards and then we went shopping.

One of the people to whom she's written the cards lives five minutes away so I said why don't we pop in and see...? and say thank-you and show what you bought with the money.

I then realised I'd left my phone behind so we called on speck although I wished I hadn't have bothered.

This person was miserable, making judgements and rude comments and made it clear she didn't really want us there.

I felt like saying don't bother with a card or present next year...

Yes keepingquiet it's a horrible feeling when you realise your friendliness is being seen as an intrusion. You just wish you could turn back the clock.

Here 2 friends are very unwell, one is falling out with everyone without explanation, my cousin has died and another relative is terminally ill. I'd love it if any of them could pop in.

I don’t mind as long as I am dressed in the morning & house is tidy.
Husbands friend from work, stands at the window which I hate & think it’s rude.
Another one use to turn up at bedtime & not leave until until after midnight. Talk about ‘winding up the clock up’ & putting the cat out 🤣 they never get the hint.

MT62

I don’t mind as long as I am dressed in the morning & house is tidy.
Husbands friend from work, stands at the window which I hate & think it’s rude.
Another one use to turn up at bedtime & not leave until until after midnight. Talk about ‘winding up the clock up’ & putting the cat out 🤣 they never get the hint.

😂
I used to have a neighbour who needed to be told it was time for her to leave.She didn’t seem to mind, in fact I think she may have been on the spectrum and didn’t know how to take her leave so liked to be told.

I welcome all visitors if I am at home.

If you had been going out surely you would have mentioned it?
If anyone comes to my house unexpectedly I invite them in and they have to take me as they find me.
If I was doing the ironing for example I make them a drink and they watch me! They don’t usually inconvenience me.

I find some people so vague about timings .

Last week a neighbour called on me twice with a brochure .
He waited for his wife to return from holiday and mentioned that he hadn't been able to contact me.
She's extremely remiss anyway .
Anytime we make a date I can add on an hour plus waiting for her .
Fine I thought ,but why not phone or text me or shove a note and /or the brochure through the letterbox.

I don’t mind short notice, but I think turning up with no notice is rude. It costs nothing to give a quick call to check that a visit isn’t going to be an inconvenience. We don’t just find ourselves at someone’s door - at some point we decide that that’s where we are going, so why not let them know?

In the case of the vague friend, it’s tricky for the OP as being caught off guard meant she didn’t ask for a time. All you can do in those circumstances is wait, I suppose.