Am I expecting too much?

Our girls don’t bother with our anniversaries. And to be honest we don’t much fuss ourselves. When it was our 35th (many years ago now) I remember we were in Spain and we were mooching around some shops on the marina and I bought myself a coral nail polish to honour the event!
🤣
Everyone is different. Some folk like a fuss or a celebration. x

Wedding anniversaries are for the couple not the children . My ac rarely remember our anniversary and certainly wouldn’t send a card which they do for birthdays , mothers / Father’s Day . I’d be more upset that my dh hadn’t organised something. It sounds like you were expecting your dh to plan something. We don’t do much for an ordinary anniversary, maybe a meal out , but plan something special for a big one .

Doodledog

It's different strokes, I think. To me, anniversaries are for the couple to celebrate, not for other people to mark. Birthdays are different - I would be hurt if my children forgot mine - but all families are different.

Totally agree. We exchange anniversary cards with 2 sets of friends but only because we played a part at their weddings. I don’t expect my son or others to remember or care.

Doodledog

It's different strokes, I think. To me, anniversaries are for the couple to celebrate, not for other people to mark. Birthdays are different - I would be hurt if my children forgot mine - but all families are different.

That is how I see it too, that wedding anniversaries are something for the couple to remember and celebrate, and generally of little or no significance to anyone else unless they are specifically invited to celebrate the event with the couple.

In fact, I don't think for one minute that either of my adult children would even know the exact date of our anniversary if asked, in the same way that I have never remembered the date of my parents'.

I don't think children expect to remember or celebrate Anniversary celebrations apart from 25th and 50th ones; sorry but I don't think a thirtieth anniversary is special except to you and your husband, and I hope you celebrated accordingly.

We've never celebrated wedding anniversaries so our children didn't realise some couples did. Our daughter and husband don't now, though our son's wife soon explained the correct procedure!

Other people's anniversaries - are for them, not the rest of us. It's bad enough remembering birthdays, isn't it?

I don’t expect my children to remember or mark our wedding anniversary at all. Why should they? They weren’t at our wedding, it’s an occasion special for me and DH but meaningless to anyone else, especially now our parents have died. Maybe when we hit our 40th or 50th we might have a family meal, but 30th isn’t a big one as far as I am concerned.
My children just about remember our birthdays but they are busy and have their own lives. Younger people don’t really send cards anymore, they mark friends birthdays with a post on Instagram or sending a text. It think Christmas cards will gradually die out over the next decade, and tbh I will find it a bit of a relief not to spend an afternoon writing cards to cousins I haven’t seen for years. I think they would struggle to understand anyone getting upset at not being sent an anniversary card.

Next Anniversary why not invite some friends to go out with you for a meal, day out, spa, infact anything you fancy.

We wouldn't have expected our AC to remember our anniversary unless they had been invited to a party or slap-up meal! We couldn't afford to do anything for our 25th (children still expensive) but for 30th, 40th and 50th we did have parties.
My DM used to remind us in the early days!
Now, it's time for the AC to give 25th anniversary parties. One has done, the other might invite me (now widowed) to something I suppose, if I remind them.

It was only when my Mum and Dad got to big anniversaries like 40, 50, 60 etc that i realised what a big achievement it was so I always marked it in some way.

I will never forget their Diamond Wedding Party when I arranged a surprise party with relatives from abroad, neighbours, family. Etc. And the card from the Queen of course.

I never remembered my own wedding anniversary, marrying v quietly, neither did my DH and generally don’t remember dates.
This comes in handy, as I try not to remember ‘death days’ or other sad events.
Probably also stems from no one taking any notice of birthdays etc as a child.

Our DC remember birthdays, Mother & Father's days, Christmas etc. They also check in if one of us is ill or whatever. There is an annual event in our family which they all keep the date free for and make a big effort with.

But I don't think they are particularly aware of our wedding anniversary unless we do something in particular and it gets mentioned in passing. We don't send a card to the married one either. I

Anon9, I hope this cheers you up: I will relate my husband's 30th wedding anniversary gift to me.....

30 years is a pearl anniversary so I secretly wondered if he would know and even act on that fact.

To prove that he did both, he gave me quite a heavy, beautifully wrapped parcel in which was ..... a bag of pearl barley.

He thought it uproariously funny, me rather less so!

Never mind your children, if you do better than I did, you have been successful!

My wedding anniversary is for my husband and I to celebrate, not anyone else, imo. The kids still at home acknowledge it, simply because they see their dad and I saying happy anniversary and exchanging a gift or whatever.

I honestly can’t remember if my AC who’s living on their own mentioned it or not.

I remember my husband putting our wedding song on and dancing together in the living room, though.

I’m sorry you were disappointed on your anniversary and hope that the rawness has settled a bit now.
To be honest, I’ve never understood why people mark someone else’s anniversary, a big one maybe, but otherwise not. I regard them as a personal thing between the couple.

Exactly that!

I expect nothing anymore so I don't get disappointed. I celebrate my children's wedding anniversaries and always will. Mine went unnoticed. I guess they are just for the couple to celebrate.

It all depends on how much your family usually celebrate events and how much this date was flagged up in advance as being special and worthy of remark.

We are not celebraters of minor anniversaries, and I would classify 30th as a minor anniversary, we did little or nothing until our 50th and then talked and planned celebrations for a year ahead of the event and DC had no excuse for not sending cards and flowers.

Congratulations! Your anniversary is special to you but to our children it’s just another day ,and as long as mum and dad are ok they just get on with their busy lives. 30 is just a number.

I've always thought that anniversaries are for the couple. We've just celebrated 42 years and although I bought a card I didn't give it to DH as he hadn't got me one. DD did wish us happy anniversary but both DSs didn't but I'm not upset. We did go out for dinner, which DH had booked so all in all a good day

All families are different. My parents always celebrated their anniversary together, usually with a meal out, but my brother and I didn't recognise it. I guess we would have celebrated their silver wedding if they had reached it but my dad sadly died after 24 years of marriage. They didn't generally make a big deal out of 'occasions'.

I usually forget my DS and DiL's anniversary, then feel guilty when I remember later. Hopefully I'll remember when it is a significant milestone, but I do remember all their birthdays.

Try not to take it personally. If your AC don't normally mark these occasions they may not have realised the significance especially if you didn't talk about it beforehand.

I feel like you do on the day as my two DS don't do anything for our birthdays and definitely not anniversaries. But I also don't say anything/send hints or reminders and don't organise anything so kind of my own fault .
Sometimes this comes from us the parents who often mirror our own family events or lack of from growing up. Both myself and my DH had extremely low key birthday celebrations so never been used to celebrating in a big way.
Here's to many more happy years for you and your DH 🎉😃 Happy Anniversary!