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vaginal steam clean anyone?-lighthearted

(130 Posts)
petunia Tue 18-Jun-19 15:54:59

i read today that clelbs are flocking to have their vaginas steamcleaned
three things occured to me.

are staff in A+E geared up to treating internal third degree burns

how do you run the area in cold water on the burnt bits

and i wonder what the nozzle looks like

ps-dont think ill be doing this. i dont get mucky enough for a steam clean

Willow10 Wed 19-Jun-19 14:06:50

Maybe a feather duster on a stick would be better - or even a chimney sweep? Those cobwebs get everywhere! grinwink

agnurse Wed 19-Jun-19 14:24:17

If your privates smell of fish that usually means you have bacterial vaginosis. This is an infection, but it's not an STI. It's treated with antibiotics.

The vagina does have a natural smell to it, but it shouldn't be fishy. That indicates a problem.

Megs36 Wed 19-Jun-19 14:56:20

Are lady gardens the same as front bottoms???

Pix5 Wed 19-Jun-19 15:20:27

Oh dear, aren't they self cleaning, like ovens. Reminds me of the time I dated a Doctor, many moons ago. I told him, I had my period, and couldn't go stay with him, he was disgusted by it. He said ladies periods are revolting????. Needless to say we didn't go too far in our relationship. Men like him encourage woman to do daft things like steam clean.

Pix5 Wed 19-Jun-19 15:22:10

Megs36 yes, apparently.

Forestflame Wed 19-Jun-19 15:33:00

This is one of the -- fanniest-- - sorry funniest threads I have seen on here.

Thank you ladies -and Gynneth Paltrow for giving me a much needed chuckle grin

grandtanteJE65 Wed 19-Jun-19 15:49:21

Actually, it is only funny because we all know better!

I shudder to think what teenage girls who are too shy to ask their mothers about personal hygiene might get up to.

agnurse Wed 19-Jun-19 15:51:32

They are self-cleaning. If you're that worried about it, a little water (no soap, no douche, no perfumes) should suffice.

Megs36 Wed 19-Jun-19 16:10:58

Thanks to ag nurse for her superior knowledge.??

123kitty Wed 19-Jun-19 17:10:58

In Paris maybe not with steam, but certainly internal clean considered essential.

Charleygirl5 Wed 19-Jun-19 18:00:24

Surely a good hoovering prior to a steam clean, but not too warm!

DanniRae Wed 19-Jun-19 18:20:28

Yes, Joanna Lumley did something similar but, if I remember correctly, she sat on a stool with a hole in the seat and a fire was lit beneath her. Her expression during this procedure was so amusing. (I am guessing when this was done for real no underwear was worn!) shock

Glammy57 Wed 19-Jun-19 18:43:38

Merlot. - you rock! ?

Glammy57 Wed 19-Jun-19 18:46:51

Megs36. Pretty much the same, but to me “Lady garden” is more to do with trimming and growth, eg. Hollywood or Landing Strip! ?

LollieLove Wed 19-Jun-19 19:54:30

HAHAHAHA!

LollieLove Wed 19-Jun-19 20:03:17

Ok ladies....let's share some "duh" moments with each other...for a laugh...and perhaps help each other realize we're not the only dumb a**! Here's one for ya....I sat down on the toilet to pee, and was thinking about something else, wiped myself and then realized I hadn't even gone pee yet!!?

NfkDumpling Wed 19-Jun-19 20:14:29

I’m trying to imagine how the process works. Do you sit on a sort of loo seat with a bowl of water with a fire under it? Sort of ear candling only down there?

Glammy57 Wed 19-Jun-19 20:25:19

LollieLove. So, did you pee on your hand?

Patticake123 Wed 19-Jun-19 21:21:06

They used to say that snorting cocaine was God’s way of telling you that you had too much money ........!

TwinLolly Wed 19-Jun-19 22:08:37

dragonfly46 You mentioned "I expect it goes with the colonic irrigation - it all sounds far too painful for me!"

Here is one person's experience with it.

www.theguardian.com/travel/2002/mar/09/restandrelaxation.shopping

Read it to the end. Life will never be the same again.

I wonder if anyone can write an article on vaginal steam cleaning too! grin

tallulahbelle Wed 19-Jun-19 23:23:43

I think Gwyneth Paltrow ain't "The full shilling"...what is she gonna come up with next...steam cleaning your vagina....she is just an attention seeker coming up with more and more rubbish all the time. She should stick to acting.

Menopaws Thu 20-Jun-19 03:23:38

I don't think stones up there is a good idea, one sneeze and I'd shoot myself in the foot!

Glammy57 Thu 20-Jun-19 09:44:37

Tallulahbelle. She can’t act, either!

Menopaws. ?

bikergran Thu 20-Jun-19 11:05:55

I think soon Hoovers/Steam clean mops will be coming with lots of Extra attachments..."Bush Trimming" maybe..!

" the tool that does everything bar hoover your carpets"

reminds me of the first Black n Decker Drill I bought many years ago, it had various attachments for sawing/drilling /sanding it was a right fag to keep swapping them about.

Yvon Thu 20-Jun-19 11:10:48

Oh what a laugh I have had reading these posts- really cheered me up