First dance after your wedding

paddyann you're right about the parents being in charge. Had 70 guests, lovely wedding but didn't have much say in it. At least I chose my music

Married in church in 1977, reception in hotel with a cold buffet, 55 guests. Afterwards in evening everyone decamped to DH's parents' house. Definitely no music or dancing.
We left after I'd changed out of my wedding dress for the next town and a posh hotel.
The next morning we left on honeymoon for an island in the sun - Anglesey.

No dance here either. Buffet reception after the wedding, then quick change, everyone waved us off about 5ish and that was it. Most close friends and family decamped to my parents house in the evening. We hadn't booked anywhere for our honeymoon, and just drove west! Ended up in Minehead where luckily we found a hotel with vacancies - which was a miracle as it was Easter Monday! (No, it wasn't Butlins!)

No dance , a room was booked in the hotel for me to change out of my gown after the reception , we said goodby and thank you to the guests and left .

When I got married, I went to work the next day, as usual.

On the morning of my wedding, I had been told I was not allowed to wear my white dress and veil, so had to make do with an old and ugly navy Crimplene suit. This was my father's ultimatum for coming to the wedding at all.

I had no flowers, no photos and certainly no happy reception afterwards. My crime was to marry a Catholic against my parents' wishes.

His parents were not so rigid but did not like the fact (any more than we did, especially as I was a regular church-goer) we'd been forced to choose a Registry Office.

The look on my husband's face (he was in his naval uniform) when I arrived in that awful navy suit nearly broke my heart.

It was probably the most miserable day of my life and to make matters worse, my husband and I were wedding photographers, going to other peoples joyful weddings and recording what we had so much wanted for ourselves.

It still hurts, all these years later.

I'll never know how people who are supposed to love you can be so cruelly insistent on hurting.

No evening do and certainly no dance at our wedding in 1967. We had a sit down meal and then went back to house to get changed and left for our honeymoon.

We got married in the register office, drove back to Mum & Dad’s with the 12 guests, had our tea & then drove to the Lake District for the weekend.

I don’t know if anybody I knew did “evening do’s “ in 1970, other than perhaps Scottish Country dancing at a Scottish wedding reception.
We had a buffet lunch, speeches and champagne then tea and cake , after which I changed into my “going away outfit “ including a huge black straw hat! and we set off on our honeymoon.
Do brides have “going away outfits” any more?
(The parents and respective families had dinner together I believe after we had gone )

Bradfordlass I was the Catholic in our marriage ,my FIL didn't want us to marry as he thought catholics were evil or scum depending on his mood.He wanted us to marry in a Church of Scotland we wanted a registry office and my Catholic parents just wanted a church so it was C OF S .I raised my children in C of S to please FIL too ,even though my husband didn't go to church.Many ,many years later the old boy told me he couldn't have asked for a better wife for his son...he even attended my GS's christening in a catholic church....took a wee bit of persuading though .Religion is at the root of so many problems in Scotland ,not as bad as it was but its still here .

We had a very small but classy wedding reception at a lovely restaurant, hired for the day (remember Egon Ronay ratings?) We asked a flautist friend to play gentle stuff for us as we ate. (I remember he played Annie's Song, but most of it was background music.) That night the small wedding group (18 of us) ended up at the pub and number one at that time in 1979 was "When you're in love with a beautiful woman" by Dr Hook. My new husband, who'd had a few too many sherries by then, sang it to me, loudly, much to the amusement of the crowd. Not appropriate for newly weds really as it's about not trusting her and other men chasing her!

Bradfordlass72
How cruel it would not happen today..
I am the youngest of 12 ..had a hotel wedding my dad said he would pay..he did not like my husband and he left us with the bill ( thankfully we had the money) still together 40 years later ..we had to drag him from the pub to walk me down the aisle..harsh times!!!!!

paddyann I was the Catholic in our marriage ,my FIL didn't want us to marry as he thought catholics were evil or scum

<sigh> Yes, awful isn't it?

My parents were prejudiced against everyone. They didn't know any Catholics and wouldn't even meet my in laws, who were lovely and very kind to me.

My parents were not religious and thought I was foolish for going to church, so it wasn't as if they had strong loyalties to any religion.

By the time my elder son was christened in the Catholic church, my Dad was dead but Mum refused to come. No thought for me and husband at all.

If I had my time again I'd defy them and have the wedding we both wanted.

We didn't have a disco etc after a wedding when I got married in 1965. We had a wedding reception, often called a wedding breakfast., and the bride and groom left for their honeymoon from this. The guests may have stayed on to socialize. But there was no music for dancing. So we had no first dance .

In 1971 I was 17 and pregnant so our wedding was a registry office followed by a meal at my parents hotel. They then went away for the weekend leaving us to look after the place and the dog. No dancing and no songs. 48 years on and still together even though everyone said it wouldn't last!

I'm surprised by the contrast of some of your weddings and all the ones I've ever been to.
They all had receptions and dancing. The earliest one I remember attending was a cousin's in '67.

We had a church wedding in July 1965 at 11a.m. followed by a sit down lunch in a local hotel - paid for by my parents. I think there were about 50 of us.

One sister did all the flowers, another made and iced a three-tier cake, a friend's Mum made my dress, another friend did my hair and my elder brother took one roll of colour photographs. We left the reception to get changed and pick up our suitcases and my brother drove us to York station to catch the train to Edinburgh for a week's honeymoon. I was 21 and DH 22. There was no dancing involved!

My DH was Catholic, I had been brought up strict Methodist, but became an Anglican while at college. We married in a Methodist church to please my parents. My lovely PILs would have loved a Catholic wedding but were happy for us to marry anywhere and raised no objection. I think they were just relieved that their son was getting married at all, as in their eyes in those days, (1972), he was getting on a bit - nearly 30! Nearly all DMil 's friends' sons were married in their early 20s. Our children were christened in our local Anglican church. My mother's eyes were opened at our reception when she saw the Methodist minister happily imbibing sherry! Before then no alcohol ever crossed our doorstep; Methodists were mostly teetotal in those days. DH and I were together nearly 50 years.

Me to, nina!

We got married in 1970 with lots of our friends getting married around the same time.

Our wedding was at 1pm and then we went to a local hotel for a buffet lunch. After the speeches I got changed into my going away outfit (no hat much to my mother's shame!). Then we were driven to the train followed by lots of friends who came onto the platform to see us off and throw confetti.

None of our friends and relations had music and dancing.

As paddyann said, I had little choice in the day's events at all.

I’ve been married 3 times and no first dance (or any dance) at any of them.

Number 1 was a disaster waiting to happen. Service Bus to and from the register office.Pub meal for 6 people then back to my mums back bedroom to look after my baby son. New Husband went to watch the footy .

Number 2 very much on the rebound. We were friends and it seemed to be the right thing at the time. Again register office then a meal for a few family members.

Number 3 (we had lived together for years) register office, then nice meal for about 20 people.

We had our reception in a local hotel and booked their resident band. In 1975 I hadn’t heard of choosing the song for the first dance, we shuffled round to whatever the band struck up.

There was lots of dancing and no shortage of singers during the band’s break. We stayed till the last but my mother wouldn’t let us come back to her house with everyone else, spoilsport! That party went on till the small hours.

Snap katieK same wedding same year
Congratulations on our golden weddings didn’t we all put up with a lot....er I mean didn’t we do well ?

I don’t remember a first dance but I remember Maggie May being played lots (1971). We hired the church hall for the reception and mum’s friend did a sit down meal for 60 (cold chicken salad and tinned fruit and cream). We did have a disco in the evening but I don’t actually remember anyone dancing. I was scared to move too much in case my hair piece fell off. It had been fixed on with so many hair clips and was looped up on top in enormous curls which made me feel top heavy.

I remember Maggie May being played a lot too, Anannymous, often requested for me, so I’m sure it would have featured at my wedding. I was always expected to get up and dance when it came on and I hated it! The morning sun when it’s in your face really shows your age, indeed - not much of a tribute when you’re in your early 20s!

Oh yes silverlining congratulations to all celebrating this year. Unfortunately I think my DH has put up with more than I have had to. Poor man but he stuck with it

We have been together 30 years this year and have been blessed with six children and six beautiful grandchildren. We actually only got married three years ago though (at Gretna Green) and our first song was Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers.