Really worried about 12 year old grandson

Are you a new member itsjo70?
Welcome!

Nope.

Hi yes I’m a new member just wondered if anyone else has had to deal with a similar situation ?

I’m really worried about my grandson after yesterday

sad sad story

When parents split it damages the children psychologically. This might be a one-off but should it happen again ask him why he did it.

Mmmm no I think the best thing would be, as happened to me, a massive policeman putting the fear of god into me and my friends after stealing sweets.

If this is real no he needs far more punishment than Granny and mommy wailing!

Both of you get a grip! March him down the local nick and get them to tell him what could happen.

Or maybe buy him a suit? That way he could probably get away with it and keep you all in style?

Welcome from me too!

I wish that parents would consider the children when separating/divorcing. It's something which sticks in my throat that most of the time there are no solid grounds for a split.
Sorry for being insincere but there are a lot of troubled children out there who are coping with just one parent and unless there's some explanation to the child when a separation occurs that child is left confused.

Hopefully this has scared him so much that maybe it’s a good job he was caught out. A lesson learned and all that. He isn’t be the first, nor will he be the last.
But he’s young enough to have cried about it so it’ll stay with him (and you) a while Itsjo - a short, sharp shock.
If he’d not been caught, he might’ve got cocky ....
Best wishes.

It's all about " the parents splitting "------never about how a child feels ! Selfish parents. I've got no time for them.

Another point I’m probably the one that has him most of the time now my daughter works 5-10 shifts Monday-Saturday so she only really sees him in the morning before he goes to school and an hour when he gets home the rest of the Time he’s in my care. He only sees his dad every other weekend aswell.

Not too dissimilar from a lot of parents who work full time Itsjo so don’t be blaming yourself.
It happens.
Hopefully he’ll have learnt a very valuable lesson, if he’s a nice boy.
Breathe.
And move on.

EV agree.

Totally agree EV

DS stole from my place of work when he was about 14. A few weeks later he was caught shoplifting. Two trips to the police station and one caution later I pointed out to him that he was obviously a rubbish thief and should give it up. His main fear was that his sister would find out so he stopped. Nearly 30 years later she still doesn't know and he is strictly law abiding.

Lovely story Deedaa thank you for sharing. x

Hello Itsjo70 I have the feeling your grandson has been scared enough not to risk this again.

My son was 11 when he was caught the same way, although he was stealing from a school friend.

No prosecution but it took its toll and a lot of love and reassurance, talking though how he felt (angry and ignored because of recent family trauma) and my promise to always listen and be supportive.

Like your boy, he was normally polite and respectful, very loving and thoughtful and went on to make a career in the army. He now owns his own business.

I completely disagree that one should blame parents. It has been my experience that children also suffer in a combative and distressed household where parents "stay for the sake of the kids" and fight all the time.

Frankly, I see no point in blaming anyone - this is life, do your best to make a situation better, not worse by apportioning blame. How does that help?

Be optimistic Jo70 and just keep loving him unconditionally.

His a good lad so hopefully it’s a one off me or his mum haven’t mentioned it today to give him a break from it. Me and his mum will probably sit him down at some point over the weekend for a long calm chat and see if anything is bothering him because he has been a bit quiet in the past few weeks but that could be me just overthinking.

I hope it's a one-off too. Would his dad speak to him about what he's done?

You have given him a break from it today. Perhaps raise it again in a very firm manner but without shouting and tell him where dishonesty leads.

You've probably thought of all this anyway. Good luck.

Good luck you sound like a caring family ☘️

We haven’t actually told his dad yet grandson didn’t want us to. He’s quite strict and harsh on grandson he used to be in the army.

My daughter may tell him but I think grandson will be to scared to tell him

Honestly Itsjo your grandson sounds like a lovely boy who did a daft thing and (thankfully) got caught.
I will think of you all at the weekend.

You sound very loving op.

I would persuade your grandson to tell his dad himself.

Dad may turn up trumps

I will suggest to him that it’s better that he tells his dad himself and it’s much better than him finding out from Simone Else.

He’s a quite shy kid anyway and he doesent have the best confidence so he could find it difficult to tell him ?