Really worried about 12 year old grandson

He already does a couple of things outside of school already to be fair he’s in a football team and he goes to the local youth club once a week

I was a light fingered teenager. Never got caught though, so never stopped until I was earning a legitimate income of my own at 16. I could blame my difficult home environment, but the truth is drugs are not free and I was nicking and reselling stuff to afford ecstasy at the weekends. Once I had wages and student loan coming in, I could afford drugs easily and had no need to steal.

But shoplifting is a very, very easy way for a kid to start getting a low level criminal record that then starts escalating. Youth offending gets a lot of attention and funding in this country, and getting known as a "offender" gets you an awful lot of negative attention from the coppers and the local community.

Give that he's been caught twice, his face is now well known and it would be an excellent idea for him to stop. It would also be an excellent idea for him not to go to the shops unaccompanied for a couple years until the urge to nick has worn off.

You don't want a teenage criminal record following you into adulthood, and yes, there are ways in which it can.

That's a good outcome Itsjo70
Do try to encourage him to get some activities outside school and encourage him to meet other children too. Scouts and woodcraft folk are both brilliant organisations if he isn't already in a youth group.

if Grandson does get caught again he would defintaly get a caution maybe charged And arrested.

Just finished With the police both grandson and his friend had interviews but were not charged / arrested thankfully. But they both are on final warnings and have had there pictures and details taken so if it does happen again they will be able to see it’s them instantly.

Could genuinly see both were really scared hopefully this is a life lesson to grandson and his friend.

Yes, itsjo70 I had that situation with son same age. It was a one-off. Don't worry unless he's in with a bad crowd.

Eldest Dd nicked some blackjack from her pushchair but was rumbled withing yards of the shop by me - I expect you can guess how! Roll on 13 years; caught nicking makeup from supermarket in France. Shop rang me and asked did I want to come in and pay for it (she was with a friend who actually wore the stuff, DD didn't as was egged on) or let the cops deal with it. I voted for the cops - she was taken off in Police car and it was several hours before I went to rescue her from the cell. As far as I know she never did it again...

Alfred Hitchcock said he was sent aged 6 by his father to the police station with a note. The duty officer locked him in a cell for several minutes saying this is what we do with bad little boys. This was enough to put him off a life of crime - he just made films about it instead.

What a worry for you, OP.
However it may (in a way) be a good thing that he was caught, since it will presumably have put the fear of God into him.

I had a few friends (early teens) at school who regularly shoplifted, and they weren't from broken homes or anything. I think they just enjoyed the danger/thrill side of it, not to mention getting things for free.

Quite apart from moral issues, I was always too chicken anyway, especially after meeting one of them in a shopping centre one Saturday. She looked so dreadfully pale and panicky - blurted out that she'd just nicked a jumper from M&S - and scarpered.
If I'd ever contemplated it, that sight of her panicked face - fear that she was about to be stopped - would have been quite enough to cure me.

They were both up for it grandson has admitted that. ?

notanan2 I guess you’re right.
Also worth bearing in mind that the best conmen can be very charming. Hopefully this does not apply to this lad, but he might need some tough love. Obviously as we do not know him we cannot judge.

The father has ever right to know what is going on with his 12 year old! Would the OP and her daughter be impressed if they found out this wasnt the first (2)time(s) and it had happened before with his dad? But he didnt tell them? I very much doubt it.

I don’t see any need to tell his father as long as it does not happen again. Let him know in no uncertain terms that it must not happen again and dad will be told if it does. At least now he knows that it is not so easy to get away with it.

Does he get pocket money? Does he have to do anything to earn it? eg some job around the house

If it happens again, no hugs. Let him see it is unacceptable to you regardless of if he is caught.

You know its just as likely that the OP's GS is the one egging on/pressuring his friend as the other way round. Also possible they were both equally up for it no peer pressure involved at all!

Grandson admitted he agreed to put them in his bag so it isn’t all his friends fault.

I’m just praying everything goes ok tomorrow

www.inbrief.co.uk/offences/shoplifting/

If the goods stolen are worth less than £200 the police are very unlikely to pursue a prosecution and the suspect will at worst be issued with a caution.
Some sweets or a £16 DVD art hardly in that category but given the youth of the offenders, the principle is what matters.

Itsjo70 - If the friend was putting sweets in your grandson's bag he was trying to make sure that your grandson, not him, would be the one caught with stolen goods. Not a good friend.
You need to ensure that your grandson realises he is still loved in spite of his behaviour but he must stop it right now.
The police will make it clear to him what the consequences will be if he carries on shoplifting.

My DD nicked sweets once.
She was only 2 at the time and in a pushchair.
I didn't find them until we were halfway home - they really shouldn't put the sweets near the checkout where little children can reach them.

I didn't take them back
(well, they were Smarties and we both like them)

He was with his friend when they nicked sweets and didn’t get caught on the day.

The 2nd time grandson was on his own when he stole the dvd but security managed to stop him.

I think they both will be in trouble be fearing grandson will be in a lot more trouble the dvd he tried to steal cost £16 aswell not a cheap one.

At first I thought DD was too hard on DGS but I'm glad she did now.

Itsjo70 I had not realised that he was with another child. Exactly why shops (smaller ones) don’t encourage children shopping together, as they dare each other. From experience I also know, that part of the bullying culture, demands children to shoplift to order, so they can join a certain group. Put his ‘crime’ in perspective, he will not be arrested or charged or given any other punishment. But encourage him to talk about his school and friends always, so you can spot the vulnerable moments.

Itsjo70 Do not fret please, it is such a shock to the system, and your grandson did exactly the right thing by being respectful. If he had been taken to the Police Station, he would have had a caution. Please believe me when I say this is not the big slide to him becoming a delinquent, a jolly good thing he was caught straight off, it will make him stop and think. He must have been punished already, no need for dad to be told as well. Please trust him to do other jobs, and explain that cameras are every where for our safety, and see everything, even in the streets and towns.

Well it wasn't that bad. A pounds-worth of sweets.

I can see that he’s really scared and nervous he knows he done something really bad and knows he is in a lot of trouble

Just before Christmas my DGS and his mates went to the shop across the road from where he lives for sweets. All 4 had also put sweets in their pockets not paid for. Fortunately a friend of my DGD saw my grandson and told his sister who told my DD.
DD took DGS back to the shop and he owned up to the manager, he had to pay for the sweets from his pocket money. The manager banned him from going in the shop without an adult. And he was grounded for 5 weeks. (Sweets cost £1). At the time they were talking to the manager a PSCO walked into the shop. DD asked him to have a word with DGS which he did very carefully and explained that it's not good stealing.
He's 10 and hopefully this has scared him.