You know its just as likely that the OP's GS is the one egging on/pressuring his friend as the other way round. Also possible they were both equally up for it no peer pressure involved at all!
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Really worried about 12 year old grandson
(90 Posts)Hi I’m really worried about my 12 year old grand son he got caught shoplifting?
Yesterday evening my grandson went to the local supermarket for me to get a few things for the dinner I forgot but it turned out to be a disaster.
He walked down on his own it’s only a 5 minute walk. He was wearing his cheap grey Tracksuit and his black converse style trainers which I admit arnt in the best condition so he attracted security’s attention when he walked into the store especially with him being on his own.
He picked up a dvd and put it under his hoodie not realising security were watching his every move. On the way out he paid for the items he got for me as he only had enough money for them then he started to walk to the exit that’s where security and the store manager stopped grandson and took him to one of the offices.
The store rang me as his mum was at work When I got there he was so upset and distraught. I’ve never seen him so upset ?
Thankfully the manager and security guard were really helpful and understanding and they talked to grandson about why he tried to do it and what the consequences should be thankfully they won’t be taking any more action against him but I think him being so coprarive and not back chatting helped and I think they Liked that they even said he was the most respectful and behaved teen shoplifter they have caught in a long time I think if grandson was rude he would of probably been arrested.
I’m just really worried about him because it was so out of character he’s a good kid never gets into trouble at home or at school.
Both my daughter and grandson live with me after my daughter split up with her long term boyfriend last October since then they have been living with me.
I don’t see any need to tell his father as long as it does not happen again. Let him know in no uncertain terms that it must not happen again and dad will be told if it does. At least now he knows that it is not so easy to get away with it.
Does he get pocket money? Does he have to do anything to earn it? eg some job around the house
If it happens again, no hugs. Let him see it is unacceptable to you regardless of if he is caught.
The father has ever right to know what is going on with his 12 year old! Would the OP and her daughter be impressed if they found out this wasnt the first (2)time(s) and it had happened before with his dad? But he didnt tell them? I very much doubt it.
notanan2 I guess you’re right.
Also worth bearing in mind that the best conmen can be very charming. Hopefully this does not apply to this lad, but he might need some tough love. Obviously as we do not know him we cannot judge.
They were both up for it grandson has admitted that. ?
What a worry for you, OP.
However it may (in a way) be a good thing that he was caught, since it will presumably have put the fear of God into him.
I had a few friends (early teens) at school who regularly shoplifted, and they weren't from broken homes or anything. I think they just enjoyed the danger/thrill side of it, not to mention getting things for free.
Quite apart from moral issues, I was always too chicken anyway, especially after meeting one of them in a shopping centre one Saturday. She looked so dreadfully pale and panicky - blurted out that she'd just nicked a jumper from M&S - and scarpered.
If I'd ever contemplated it, that sight of her panicked face - fear that she was about to be stopped - would have been quite enough to cure me.
Alfred Hitchcock said he was sent aged 6 by his father to the police station with a note. The duty officer locked him in a cell for several minutes saying this is what we do with bad little boys. This was enough to put him off a life of crime - he just made films about it instead.
Eldest Dd nicked some blackjack from her pushchair but was rumbled withing yards of the shop by me - I expect you can guess how! Roll on 13 years; caught nicking makeup from supermarket in France. Shop rang me and asked did I want to come in and pay for it (she was with a friend who actually wore the stuff, DD didn't as was egged on) or let the cops deal with it. I voted for the cops - she was taken off in Police car and it was several hours before I went to rescue her from the cell. As far as I know she never did it again...
Yes, itsjo70 I had that situation with son same age. It was a one-off. Don't worry unless he's in with a bad crowd.
Just finished With the police both grandson and his friend had interviews but were not charged / arrested thankfully. But they both are on final warnings and have had there pictures and details taken so if it does happen again they will be able to see it’s them instantly.
Could genuinly see both were really scared hopefully this is a life lesson to grandson and his friend.
if Grandson does get caught again he would defintaly get a caution maybe charged And arrested.
That's a good outcome Itsjo70
Do try to encourage him to get some activities outside school and encourage him to meet other children too. Scouts and woodcraft folk are both brilliant organisations if he isn't already in a youth group.
I was a light fingered teenager. Never got caught though, so never stopped until I was earning a legitimate income of my own at 16. I could blame my difficult home environment, but the truth is drugs are not free and I was nicking and reselling stuff to afford ecstasy at the weekends. Once I had wages and student loan coming in, I could afford drugs easily and had no need to steal.
But shoplifting is a very, very easy way for a kid to start getting a low level criminal record that then starts escalating. Youth offending gets a lot of attention and funding in this country, and getting known as a "offender" gets you an awful lot of negative attention from the coppers and the local community.
Give that he's been caught twice, his face is now well known and it would be an excellent idea for him to stop. It would also be an excellent idea for him not to go to the shops unaccompanied for a couple years until the urge to nick has worn off.
You don't want a teenage criminal record following you into adulthood, and yes, there are ways in which it can.
He already does a couple of things outside of school already to be fair he’s in a football team and he goes to the local youth club once a week
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