How private should a pm be?

I seem to be lucky I have never had an unpleasant PM and am sorry that some others have. Anniebach is right there is a lot of trust involved in private messages and it's a pity some people try to spoil that

I’m agog at all this PM activity! I’ve sent and received the odd one when thanks or apologies are due on either side, but have never had a nasty one. It’s worrying that people get away with it.

I too am agog Maggiemaybe (great name)

There is always going to be someone on a thread we disagree with, but I cannot see the point of taking it to PM and being nasty! What is the point?

Its a horrible thing to do.
Nobody knows others' state of mind; certainly not by reading forums.
I would be really upset if someone did it to me.
Its the kind of thing I would find hard to put out of my mind, and I'm quite 'fragile' at times.

The reason I started this thread was because I think that if these nasty pms are 'publicised' it night put people off sending them.

I am astonished that anyone would send you a nasty pm kittylester as you are not a combative poster at all!

I assume you are talking about the PM I received following my use of the word “bloody” kitty which was 3 months ago.
gillybob I remember that - you posted about it and I think I said 'Bloody Hell, gillybob, that's awful'.
(will I get a pm now?)

Delete and block - but if it is really offensive then you could report it to GNHQ.
And MissA - you're right, no-one knows another's state of mind so it is a very unkind thing to do.

I think GN would fear all hell breaking loose, kitty. PMers often copy others into their message to keep them onside. Exposing the pm will unleash the fury of his/her supporters.

Personally, I would name them because people will at least have a chance to see the post before it gets deleted but then I don't mind living dangerously

Monica, I was one of the others who received a PM from the ubiquitous 'Tom'. I think he rather fancied himself as everyone's Tom, Dick and Harry but ended up as an international joke on a website of vigilant Grans

Not so much of the Tom or Harry, just a bit of a D*ck?

Maw

I'm feeling left out now, Tom didn't pm me. Nor did Dick or Harry

I have only received lovely helpful PMs !

It amazed me that the word “bloody” could warrant such an abusive PM when plenty other posters use some much fruitier language than that. Maybe she just doesn’t like me ?

I would certainly delete & block the sender and try to not worry about it,upsetting as it may be you don't know this person from Adam so what right should they be able to have you upset.
I pm GNers who I have read asking for information on a personal issue and keep in touch with a few GNers who have become friends over the years as they don't post very often now.

Gosh Merlot how do you know people copy PM their supporters? I would never have thought of that.

I think it was MissA who said post the PM and don't name the sender, I agree for two reasons: 1, you will soon find out if others agree it is unpleasant and 2, they will see the reaction of other Gns.

I had a couple of pretty nasty messages some years back from someone no longer here. When I replied, perhaps a bit hastily, she reported me and hers was much worse than mine! Apart from that the only PM which was not lovely was from a Gn who was very patronising, I think she has left.

I think most PMs are from people who want to be helpful.

The person who sent me the nasty PM only dips in and out of the forums and rarely (if ever) has a nice word to say to anyone .

I’ve had some lovely and very helpful PM’s over the years .

I think it was MissA who said post the PM and don't name the sender,

You could drop a couple of heavy hints though

I once posted the contents of a not very pleasant pm which I deliberately exaggerated and misquoted.

Bingo! A full salvo of outrage from the no longer anonymous PMer.

PMers often copy others into their message to keep them onside. Exposing the pm will unleash the fury of his/her supporters

This is totally weird.

I ve never had a nasty PM thankfully
I have made a few friends and had lovely pms I too had the wonderful Tom write lovingly to me ?
When you say I m sure you have all worked out who it is No I haven’t a clue who you’re talking about ?

Me neither BlueBelle. As for copying others into their message, I didn't know this was possible (or why it is).

As usual I am mostly in blissful ignorance of all these "underground" activities. And feeling left out, as I didn't hear from Tom. Or his mates.

Oh,gilly I'm soooo close to printing the name. But I won't.

I have received lovely PMs from people, mainly thanking me for extra help I had given them.

One was extremely rude to me talking about a medical subject she knew zilch about, which I have, but many others took my side so she backed off. She appears for a few weeks and then vanishes again for a good length of time. I had better not mention where she lives or she may be identifiable.

This is getting more cryptic by each post (scratches head)

Me too Petra but please don’t . You might get into trouble and quite honestly she’s not worth it. She will probably shoot her self in the foot eventually as she NEVER EVER posts anything nice .

We could always start a new games thread.....anagrams of dodgy pm usernames?