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How private should a pm be?

(116 Posts)
kittylester Sun 04-Nov-18 08:33:02

Earlier in the week gilly mentioned that she had a nasty pm and, over the years, I have had a few passive aggressive ones too. I doubt we are the only ones.

My inclination is to 'call out' the sender on the threads - would that be wrong?

To my mind these are bullying messages and we should stand up to bullies but what does anyone else think?

Who does a pm belong to? The sender or the recipient?

petra Tue 06-Nov-18 22:17:23

Am I the only person who's reminded of the stoning scene in the 'Life of Brian'
"How bad can it get. Jehovah jehovah jehovah"

Jalima1108 Tue 06-Nov-18 21:03:01

um, I am not confessing on here

TerriBull Tue 06-Nov-18 19:55:18

When my son was in juniors, he had an essay on "The Battle of Bosworth" marked by his teacher, with the comment "too bloody" I think he got carried away with the gore, but then again they weren't setting about each other with pillows and cushions, so not quite sure what she expected. I suppose she could have always commented "Bloody hell, this is too bloody". Oops might get a censorious pm now. Perhaps we should have a collective thread where posters who have transgressed with their profanity, could write out a 100 times "I must not use bad language"

Imagine how long such a thread would be on MN grin

gillybob Tue 06-Nov-18 19:12:39

The thing is I’m no longer bothered about the nasty PM. I didn’t report it at the time so it’s totally pointless now. The person knows who she is and what she said to me so that’s that as far as I’m concerned . No point in causing trouble over a simple “bloody” word wink

gillybob Tue 06-Nov-18 19:09:39

My grandad used to say ”Bliddy Nora” I just assumed she must’ve been someone he knew ? So I said “Bliddy Xxxx” (the name of my sister) to my dad and he half throttled me ! grin

Jalima1108 Tue 06-Nov-18 18:55:32

One last message for gillybob

I was standing at the bus stop waiting for the school bus when I was about 7 and one of the boys (I won't name him in case he's on here grin) told me that saying 'bloody' was absolutely fine; saying it when it is spelt 'bluddy' is swearing.
I believed him for ages.

Jalima1108 Tue 06-Nov-18 18:31:45

Who does a pm belong to? The sender or the recipient?
The only thing is that we haven't answered that question.

I think reporting them to GNHQ is the right way to go, otherwise delete them and block the sender.

Bellanonna Tue 06-Nov-18 18:29:17

Maybe we should just leave this now. The point has been made. Nasty PMs are not acceptable. Just report them to GNHQ and let them deal with it. No doubt the poster who has been sending unpleasant PMs to Gilly will have read this thread, along with any other nasty posters contacting other members. Let’s hope it stops.

Jalima1108 Tue 06-Nov-18 17:24:03

Forget the snow Terribull, that was a red herring

annodomini Tue 06-Nov-18 17:22:51

Years ago, a number of us had unpleasant and spiteful pms from the same person. We all reported her and she was then banned. If pms are offensive, you should report the sender and leave it to HQ to deal with her (him).

petra Tue 06-Nov-18 17:04:37

TerriBull
I meant to say I've just searched grin

petra Tue 06-Nov-18 17:01:10

TerriBull
I know who this poster is. But I've just put in 2 words in your post and there it is.

TerriBull Tue 06-Nov-18 16:36:45

I'm trying to work out who this person is from all the cryptic postings, a pagan name, associations with snow and autumn leaves very, confused

TerriBull Tue 06-Nov-18 16:33:17

I've only ever received nice pms and I certainly wouldn't want to send one that would be anything other than friendly. I'm shocked that anyone would send a nasty pm it would imply to me that person has a spiteful streak. As for gilly being reprimanded for a "bloody" can't believe that, God forbid the sender should ever stray on to MN shock they would probably expire, even some of the user names incorporate a very rude word blush

petra Tue 06-Nov-18 15:41:20

jalima
its those autumn leaves that can be a problem
Nasty little critters ?

Maggiemaybe Tue 06-Nov-18 11:56:43

Last but one post, darn it!

Maggiemaybe Tue 06-Nov-18 11:55:59

I keep wondering if people are giving us clues. Jalima’s last post sounds very MI6.

And the sun will return with the cat in the Spring. grin

Jalima1108 Tue 06-Nov-18 11:52:37

gilly
Did you know it's a pagan word?
hence my post above
petra smile

Fennel Tue 06-Nov-18 11:51:05

"It's a bit worrying that some posters are barking up the wrong tree."
I realise that, Jalima.
TG I haven't had a nasty pm yet.
No-one has answered my question about the 'privacy' of pms?
As I said, posts on the open forum can be quoted elsewhere.

Jalima1108 Tue 06-Nov-18 11:39:36

It's a bit worrying that some posters are barking up the wrong tree hmm.

Snow can be annoying or it can be lovely but at least you can see it.

It's those autumn leaves that can be a problem.

Bellanonna Mon 05-Nov-18 23:45:54

I realise that jalima. I was just reminded of a thread some months ago.

merlotgran Mon 05-Nov-18 23:40:41

grin jalima

I think I'll invest in a sled and a few huskies.

Jalima1108 Mon 05-Nov-18 23:16:57

My post was in reply to merlotgran, nothing else.

Bellanonna Mon 05-Nov-18 22:54:41

Oh, now I’m surprised (I think) confused

Jalima1108 Mon 05-Nov-18 14:43:22

We'd better get the chains on our tyres soon!
Advice for the UK:
If you fit snow chains to your car, remove them once you reach a clear or gritted road – leaving them on can cause damage to the car and the road. This could mean you’ll be fitting and removing the snow chains several times throughout a journey, but it’s essential to lower the risk of damage.
www.autoexpress.co.uk/wheels-and-tyres/winter-special/89290/winter-driving-tips-snow-chains-in-the-uk

I thought I'd get in first