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Do any of these resonate with you

(113 Posts)
OldMeg Thu 06-Sept-18 07:52:20

I’ve been taking GN too seriously of late. So thought I’d lighten up a bit.

I’m sure you can all think of more to add to the list....

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap
when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Google Maps eally needs to start their directions on # 5.
I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection, again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

17. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

18. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

19. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

20 Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1 .7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

jocork Fri 07-Sept-18 21:26:51

On children's remarks:
I was once having a meal in a large group, of varying ages, with friends with a 5 year old daughter. She was working round the table asking how old everyone was when she reached the eldest diner and changed the question to "When are you going to die?" Thankfully said 'old lady' was hard of hearing and her mum managed to gag her before she repeated the question!
When my mum was newly at secondary school she learnt a new word and a rough idea of what it meant. On the bus home with her mum she asked "Does dad f* you mum?" Apparently my grandmother calmly replied "Yes he does darling - we'll talk about it when we get home." So glad I rarely caught buses when mine were small!

jocork Fri 07-Sept-18 21:30:03

On journeys taking longer than the sat nav says:
I get tired driving long distances and have to stop at the services for a nap!

PenJK50 Fri 07-Sept-18 22:08:25

A wonderful thread! I’ve been smiling all the way through it and the responses too. Thank you all for entertaining me so well this evening.

minesaprosecco Fri 07-Sept-18 22:58:05

Similar to jocork's - a colleague of mine told the story of having his rather prudish PIL's round for dinner soon after his son had started school. His wife had cooked something which the little boy had not seen before -he took one look at it and (having obviously learned some very ripe language in the playground) asked crossly 'What the f**k is that?' The PIL's were not amused - my colleague on the other hand had to leave the room as his muffled laughter threatened to choke him! The little boy grew up to be a very polite young man.

garnet25 Fri 07-Sept-18 23:01:25

Wonderful thread, been sitting here giggling.

Why does other half decide he has something important to do the minute a meal is ready.

Nanna58 Fri 07-Sept-18 23:20:20

Why, when you want your car keys is it always your housekeys you find first in your bag, but when you want your house keys it’s the other way round? Also why , when you want to lower or raise a blind you always pull the opposite cord!

HillyN Fri 07-Sept-18 23:56:15

Why fold the fitted sheet? I always just put it back on the bed.
Why, when we are going anywhere, does my OH tut and sigh impatiently while I am putting on my shoes and getting my handbag, then when I'm ready to go decide he needs the loo! To add insult to injury, when we are finally sat in the car he spends 5 minutes fiddling with his sat nav, then drives round the corner before remembering he has left his phone on the coffee table and must go back for it! confused

Nanna58 Sat 08-Sept-18 06:59:14

Re the blind, ( on a roll here!) have often triad to trick the blind BY NOT GOING FOR MY FIRST choice of cord ( I know, I know -sad !) and it is still the wrong one!!!???

NfkDumpling Sat 08-Sept-18 07:35:49

Love this thread, it’s so nice to know I’m normal. smile

Rufus2 Sat 08-Sept-18 13:02:36

Any ideas for a title perhaps?

OldMeg;

Two titles spring to mind. 1) "Jokes" (or 50 shades of blue!) 2) "Humour"
I'm anxious to jump on this bandwagon and get it rolling, so I'll contact HQ on Monday to get them installed. They'll probably need to vet something or other, but there shouldn't be any objections. Let's see how we go ! smile

OldMeg Sat 08-Sept-18 20:59:07

Good on you Rufus ??

Peardrop50 Thu 13-Sept-18 18:22:35

Why do I find the inch long chin hair after I’ve been out not before I go?
Why do I put my hands in the pockets of my summer trousers when I’m miles from home to discover they’re not at the front where they should be?
Why just as I’ve decided to give Gransnet a miss for being too depressing do some funny intelligent people remind me why I like it?