Do any of these resonate with you

Why do I find the inch long chin hair after I’ve been out not before I go?
Why do I put my hands in the pockets of my summer trousers when I’m miles from home to discover they’re not at the front where they should be?
Why just as I’ve decided to give Gransnet a miss for being too depressing do some funny intelligent people remind me why I like it?

Good on you Rufus ??

Any ideas for a title perhaps?

OldMeg;

Two titles spring to mind. 1) "Jokes" (or 50 shades of blue!) 2) "Humour"
I'm anxious to jump on this bandwagon and get it rolling, so I'll contact HQ on Monday to get them installed. They'll probably need to vet something or other, but there shouldn't be any objections. Let's see how we go !

Love this thread, it’s so nice to know I’m normal.

Re the blind, ( on a roll here!) have often triad to trick the blind BY NOT GOING FOR MY FIRST choice of cord ( I know, I know -sad !) and it is still the wrong one!!!???

Why fold the fitted sheet? I always just put it back on the bed.
Why, when we are going anywhere, does my OH tut and sigh impatiently while I am putting on my shoes and getting my handbag, then when I'm ready to go decide he needs the loo! To add insult to injury, when we are finally sat in the car he spends 5 minutes fiddling with his sat nav, then drives round the corner before remembering he has left his phone on the coffee table and must go back for it!

Why, when you want your car keys is it always your housekeys you find first in your bag, but when you want your house keys it’s the other way round? Also why , when you want to lower or raise a blind you always pull the opposite cord!

Wonderful thread, been sitting here giggling.

Why does other half decide he has something important to do the minute a meal is ready.

Similar to jocork's - a colleague of mine told the story of having his rather prudish PIL's round for dinner soon after his son had started school. His wife had cooked something which the little boy had not seen before -he took one look at it and (having obviously learned some very ripe language in the playground) asked crossly 'What the f**k is that?' The PIL's were not amused - my colleague on the other hand had to leave the room as his muffled laughter threatened to choke him! The little boy grew up to be a very polite young man.

A wonderful thread! I’ve been smiling all the way through it and the responses too. Thank you all for entertaining me so well this evening.

On journeys taking longer than the sat nav says:
I get tired driving long distances and have to stop at the services for a nap!

On children's remarks:
I was once having a meal in a large group, of varying ages, with friends with a 5 year old daughter. She was working round the table asking how old everyone was when she reached the eldest diner and changed the question to "When are you going to die?" Thankfully said 'old lady' was hard of hearing and her mum managed to gag her before she repeated the question!
When my mum was newly at secondary school she learnt a new word and a rough idea of what it meant. On the bus home with her mum she asked "Does dad f* you mum?" Apparently my grandmother calmly replied "Yes he does darling - we'll talk about it when we get home." So glad I rarely caught buses when mine were small!

^7. Google Maps really needs to start their directions on # 5.
I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood^

How can it take nearly two hours to get somewhere which should only take 27 minutes according to the sat nav?

Jan66 I am crying here! Sooo many Tupperware lids that don’t fit!

I'll definitely be trying the quilt cover tip.
It seems to take an age these days to put a clean cover on.
I sometimes have to rest and go back to it!

Why, when you've lost one earring, and wait for weeks/months/years before you throw the odd earring out, does the original lost earring suddenly turn up? So now you're back to having only 1 earring again.

When you lose something in the house; you search everywhere for it. No cushion, drawer, cupboard or pocket is left unsearched. You finally give up. Only to find it exactly where you looked the previous day * and it wasn't there*!

^Sprouts. Why?
Because, because, because

1 they are good for you
2 they taste good
3 they make you f**t

Blinko it sounds like magic!!

Great thread, this! Thanks, Old Meg.

Duvet covers, replacing of: again you tube has the answer.
Essentially, place the duvet cover on the bed inside out.
Place the duvet on top of it
Roll the two together like a swiss roll, down to the open end
Flip inside out at the open end.
Unroll, et voila!

You're welcome....

No Elegran not finding it too serious. I find the competition very amusing.

Greta I splashed out on a box of organic veg two weeks ago. A few carrots are still left to eat, and they are almost as good as they were a fortnight ago. The ones in supermarkets have been washed clean - to do that they must bung them in an enormous container of water and bash them around until all the dirt is off. Then they pack them still damp, so they have been transported wet and bruised. No wonder they are limp and weary, and go black and mouldy before you can eat them.

Well done OldMeg! And everyone else too, you are all quite clever!

Thanks OldMeg, this thread could go on for ever:

Why is it that younger shop assistants can't look me in the eye? Am I really that hideous?

Why do I seem unable to remember more than one thing at a time?

Why has my vacuum cleaner put on weight?

Why do I spend hours composing a shopping list, then leave it on the kitchen table?

Why do I look at young strong men and think ” I could do with one of those”? There are umpteen things that need fixing in my house.

Why is it almost impossible to find shoes in size 3? One assistant told me ”size 3 isn't very popular”. OK then, I'll go home and shrink my feet.

Why do I wake up so early in the morning? When the children were young and early risers I decided that when I was retired I would have a lie-in every morning.

Why do carrots go limp after a couple of days? They used to last for ages.

I wondered whether you meant it for a diffferent thread too, ginny. It did seem as though you, too had been taking Gransnet posts a bit too seriously, as the original poster said that she had, and as if you were still being too serious about old people (Gransnet posters?) and aches and pains.

It is nice to get a humorous thread, Oldmeg It gets a bit solemn on here sometimes.

Just logged back on to read all these lovely and funny comments. Your kind remarks made me smile and your examples made me laugh.

Thank you ??❤️