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Was this appropriate?

(83 Posts)
Sallyann1 Sun 22-Jul-18 20:44:04

So, husband and I met with our 3 adult daughters this morning for coffee, with no grandchildren (there are 7). We haven’t seen them for a while - they’re teachers and have been busy, as indeed have we! So, lots of chat and then I caught the end of a conversation that eldest daughter was having “Oh no, T (14 yr old grandson) says B (his grandad / my husband) is a boobs man”. I kind of laughed along, as we all did, then we talked of different things. But later, I tried to talk to husband about the comment, asking what he’d said to grandson. He got very defensive and quite angry ( as he does when caught on the hop), talked of male family members being able to chat to young male relatives about girls, “as it’s a tricky area for them”. I feel he has probably said something slightly inappropriate to the lad, in an effort to be “down with the kids”, and to be liked as is his need.
Had a glass of wine there, read what I’d written and nearly deleted it - anticipating comments like “huh”, “mountain out of a molehill” etc, but it’s just I thought as liberal, 60s hippy folks we were past all that objectification of women. In the discussion with husband, he said that men do look at women and react to big boobs, short skirts etc.
Oh I don’t know, just feeling a bit low now, so don’t be too hard on me!

MamaCaz Tue 24-Jul-18 08:10:36

From what little we know, and indeed what little the OP overheard, I find it rather strange that the GF is taking so much flack - seems to me that the conversation between the daughters, which ended with the 'boobs man' comment, is equally likely to have been an 'inappropriate' conversation, especially in public.
Moreover, if I have understood correctly, the daughter who threw in the comment (the boy's mother?) didn't show any signs of having been upset by it, did she?
If I were you, OP, I would have light-heartedly raised the topic afterwards with your daughter, because she is probably in a much better position to know (from whatever her son had said to her) whether anything genuinely inappropriate had been said or not, instead of all this speculation.

pollyperkins Tue 24-Jul-18 09:48:42

Good past MamaCaz. I agree.

Telly Tue 24-Jul-18 12:07:05

I also think that an off the cuff comment, repeated 3 times which no else has taken offence at, should really be dismissed. I can understand you OH going off in a huff and feeling defensive, this is surely not worth having an argument about??

thecatgrandma Wed 25-Jul-18 11:17:14

If he’s said something to his daughter or grandson he’s a sleazy undignified pathetic old man. Ok, the grandsons heard far far worse from other lads, but for his grandfather to engage in such a conversation is inappropriate. I don’t think you are going overboard at all, I’d have gone mental!

ContraryMary88 Wed 25-Jul-18 12:19:06

80 posts and nobody knows what was said.......

And now it’s on Facebook, I hope the OP doesn’t get outed

janeainsworth Wed 25-Jul-18 16:28:26

The fact that it’s on Facebook is no different from it being on here, Mary.

Anyone can see the posts on here.

Anyone can see the posts on FB, but only if they already follow GN on FB or they search for GN on FB.

PECS Wed 25-Jul-18 16:43:40

As we are not sure what exactly was said, or in what context, to call the grandad a sleazeball is a bit harsh! Grandson may have heard talk about males fancying 'boobs' 'bums' 'legs' etc from other lads, on TV etc. & needed to check it out for authenticity. He may have asked his grandad what his preference was. Might be totally innocent! Poor grandad my have been caught on the hop and just answered honestly!
We can always be wise after an event or be judgemental when we are not directly involved. It is a shame if GD did not clarify the superficiality of physical attraction but we all miss golden opportunities.