Was this appropriate?

Teenaged boys don't just start having sexual feelings at the age of consent and often don't want to talk about those things with their Mum's. My son was 11 when he started to take notice of girls and I found out by an innocent remark he made about females with natural breasts. I was quite shocked at the time but pointed out that maybe ogling them was not the thing to do. He pointed out that most of them were at his eye level so they were difficult to miss. We laughed about that but also talked about how females felt, the emotions he might feel, etc. I was lucky because he was always open with me but had he been with my Dad at the time, I would have accepted that he was equally capable of having that chat.
We are programmed to notice the bits that attract us to the opposite sex which is what keeps us interested in keeping the human race going. I am particularly attracted to men's eyes and comment on it to a friend. Does that mean I am objectifying men? I don't do it in a lewd way or make those men feel uncomfortable about it and that if it were an area of the body which was considered more sexual, I'd be exactly the same.

I may be on my own here, but I think it is a good thing if a granddad can talk to his 14 year old grandson about the opposite sex and what men look at!

Obviously, not knowing the details of the OP's husband's conversation with his grandson, I can't comment on it, but in general it's fine if the grandparent and parent of the same sex as a 14 year old can discuss sex with them without embarrassment.

We all know teenagers are curious about sex, and believe me, some of the things they hear from their school friends are just as far from the truth as the things we picked up that way at their age.

Surely, it is a fact of life that men look at women and women look at men, unless their sexual preference is for their own sex?

I don't see anything demeaning in that, though I would have asked my DH not to use the word "boobs", which happens to be my pet hate.

Remember the anecdote from our young days of the Englishwoman in Paris who complained to a gendarme that men were passing remarks about her in the street.
His reply was, "Mais, que voulez- vous? Surely Madame, you will be sad the day no-one any longer finds you attractive, n'est-pas?"

I think open dialogue is far more healthy than treating children as toddlers until they're 52!
Very different if grandad talked about little else, but having sensible family to chat to is important.

I think talking openly about sexual attraction is healthy. It is a fact that people are attracted to others , initially, by different physical appearance. The fact that grandad & grandson discussed this is not in itself a bad thing! Context is everything. If grandson had asked grandad directly about this I understand why grandad may have answered as is suggested in OP. It might be less appropriate for the adult to have initiated the conversation and not guided grandson to think of women as more than just different sexual component parts! He may have done..but what made daughters laugh was maybe thought of their old dad even having a sexual side to him! Ageist!

It's very unkind to call men boobs men just because they can grow boobs in older age.

Reminds me of a time, ages ago, we were having a chicken meal with my parents and two old widowed aunties. Aunty P. was carving the chicken and asked my husband "are you a breast or a legs man?"
I was rather surprised, but she was always very outspoken.
Our teenage children were there too.
I would try to make light of it, SallyAnn.

I agree with mountain out of a molehill remarks mentioned previously,it's good to have open conversations about all topics( for example TV programmes as well as everyday occurences)
My DH is a boob man, and I like men with brown eyes!

I wouldn’t make anything from this, OP, it was perhaps just a bit of man talk, maybe DGS had confided something to his Grandad?
At 14 he probably knows it all anyway.You should forget this.
Your DD was certainly at fault though, for bringing this up over coffee!

Interesting topic. I wonder how the DD furthered the conversation with her son? I wonder why she brought it up with her siblings in front of their parents? Three daughters talking about an inappropriate objectification from their father passed down to one of their sons? I hope that the DD (mother) didn't only laugh it off. I hope that the GF gets over his tantrum and learns some sensitivity. Sorry you had to overhear that Sallyann1. I am sick of Trump-like behaviour and speech from older men who should know better.

Just verbal banter between guy's, may even have been initiated by DGS so unless you know the whole story I'd let it go. I've seen women behave appallingly towards men, verbally and physically and if the boot were on the other foot the guy would be up for assault but when confronted the women will say, we were just having a bit of fun. Six and half a dozen.

Sallyannl, think you hit the nail on the head when you said dh wanted to be "down there with the kids " my husband
used to be a bit silly like that untill I suggested he should speak to gs like a grown up if he was having grown up conversations.

ps to my post - I hope I haven't offended any widowed aunties on here. They were sisters, both great fun, full of 'gan on'. I miss them.

I detest the use of the word banter when used in this context.
Trump/pussy-grabbing/ locker room banter??

A comment like that probably wouldn't have even registered with me let alone be bothered by it. It's great that they have a relaxed and jokey relationship and it's a shame that you don't understand it but feel the need to interfere with it.

kooklafan glad mu GC dont have you around."verbal banter between guys" if I found some old sleaze bag talking about my daughter or grandaughters "boobs" or any other part of her anatomy I would be far from amused .Sleazy old men shouldn't be left alone with young boys who look up to them and their antiquated views .

I don't see anything sleezy about a man (any age) saying that he is a 'boob man', or a leg man, or anything similar to describe the part of the female body that he particularly likes.
Unless I have missed something, there is no reason to believe he said any more than that, nothing to suggest that he has mentioned any specific woman's boobs, is there?.

Fennel, don't get it, didn't she just mean the chicken,
or am I being naive?

muddynails, I took it to mean that the aunt who asked the question knew exactly what she was saying - a deliberate bit of cheeky innuendo on her part
I could be wrong though (though according to DH, I'm never wrong )!

To me it sounds like a remark in bad taste from anyone to anyone, but worse from an older man to a boy. It’s setting a bad example. I’d have said so, though not at the time.

My last comment was about the OP, not the aunt and the chicken!

We all find different parts of the body of opposite sex attractive. No problem with that. But this was an inappropriate conversation between a man and his fourteen year old grandson. I would let my husband know that.

MamaCaz is right
TG her daughter, my cousin, is still in this life, (in Canada) and just like her Mum.

I'd have been unhappy that my husband said this to a 14 year old boy and very unhappy that my daughter found it amusing.
It sleazy and in bad taste as others have said. How on earth something to sleazy could be called "banter" I just don't know.
Yes, it's good to have open conversations about sex - it's also good to demonstrate what's appropriate and what isn't. It's called being a good role model.

I think it is totally inappropriate for your husband to have said that to his grandson. It is a sexual comment, totally out of place within the context of grandparent/grandchild relationship

Things have changed a lot around the world in this area. It is hard to say as you only got the tail end. Maybe it was all very innocent, but, it is very important that young men growing up are aware that its natural to admire a woman and what she has got. But, it is not appropriate to laugh at or mock women.
Can lead to an undercurrent of disrespect. Just keep an eye out, probably nothing at all.