Was this appropriate?

I agree with JaneAinsworth too.

Like you, I would be upset if my husband had this conversation with our Grandson. But now you just need to let it go. Our husbands do say and do things we don’t like sometimes but (unfortunately sometimes!) I don’t control him.

Don’t let it get you down. It’s just a comment and it sounds as though he’ll think twice about saying something similar in future x

I clearly remember, as a 19 yr old, walking past the local library in my old home town, when an unknown male passed in the opposite direction.
As he did so, he put out his right index finger and poked it straight into my right breast saying ' the t**s' on you' without breaking stride.
I wasn't that shocked and certainly didn't tell mum.
Men can be weird re women's bodies. They're either a leg, bum or boob kinda guy. I've always liked a certain kind of neck/throat area on men.
The comments made between GP and GS can't have been very inappropriate as I'm sure the OPs DH wouldn't really overstep the mark. Forget about it. It's what males call bants (banter).

Inapropriate stuff happens, despite the best efforts of the pc brigade. Nothing to get worked up about, in this case. I agree with M0nica and others who would take a more laid back approach.

We are not allowed to say that kind of thing anymore.

I understand the new Mamma Mia film had to change some song lyrics too.

I would be enjoying the fact that my gc was happy to chat to an older male member of the family and to be honest unless he was degrading men or women I don't get upset by the comments as I work with women who are just as bad when chatting about some male they find attractive. Leave as "male chat" just as I suspect you have "girlie chats" with your female friends. I'm in my 60s and love the fact my kids who are in early 20s and their mates chat openly to me about stuff and have done even in their teens. (Good jobs non of the men in my life were boob men

I don’t think we can possibly judge without knowing the context. What if grandson started the conversation and asked his grandad if he was a boobs or bum man? Boys of his age are probably talking about girls and sex all the time, I think it’s great that he feels he can talk to his grandad as well. If he ever needs real advice on the subject he will know his grandad is approachable.

Unfortunately the fact that we don’t want men to see us as sex objects is somewhat negated by the way young girls and so called celebs flaunt their bodies, and I wonder how many 14 year olds and younger, watch Love Island? I have never watched it but it from headlines in the rags it seems to emphasize the body rather than the mind.

I agree with M0nica and MamaCaz.

In the nicest possible way, this was a conversation between grandad and grandson, nothing to do with anyone else. It is not up to you to censor your husbands conversations, you are not responsible for him.

I'm with Eloethan. It's sleazy. Old man and adolescent? Grandad wanting to be down with the kids forgetting to act his age and with some maturity. Men can be very silly. We can all objectify but in adult company and awareness of those present.

Vilifying a chap without knowing the full story isn’t a very nice thing to do.

I’m sure the OP knows her husband and surely knows that he wouldn’t do or say anything sleazy to her GS?

Monica: agree totally. To think males and females do not find particular physical attributes attractive is burying heads in sand. It's nature.

I"m thinking that maybe you are as concerned/upset by the fact your daughter saw fit to bring this up in the first place, and treated it as funny along with your other daughters, while you felt embarrassed that your husband had overstepped the mark with your grandson. It has left a bad taste in your mouth in the fact that not only does your grandson know that grandad is "a boobs man" but your daughters know it too.! You have said your relationship with this daughter is a bit brittle so I am wondering if this just slipped out unintentionally or was it for effect and attention.
Some men and women as they get older find it quite difficult to accept the ageing process and say and do things which can come across as quite inappropriate in the eyes of others. Your husband will probably be more wary now what he says....least said now...soonest mended.

To be quite honest - I wouldn't have batted an eyelid! Also - being attracted to a particular body type is biology - not objectification.

I agree with starbird - it could well have been your grandson who initiated the conversation, and your husband simply responded without really thinking. Grandson is obviously at ease with mentioning 'boobs' to your daughter - perhaps you should be happy that grandson and grandfather have such a good relationship. It would be quite a different matter if grandson was 12 or under. I don't think or feel 'degraded' by hearing of men's preferences when it comes to being attracted to women, I have certainly voiced my preferences regarding the opposite sex: dark eyebrows, strong thumbs and no knock-knees!. I don' t think I'm demeaning men by that.

However I would be worried if my husband were in the habit of secretly ogling page 3 models or worse (surprised to see recently in the local fish and chips shop that page 3 still exists!). In our house we talk quite freely about sexual attraction, and no - we're not 'swingers'.
Re. your husband, I think you are being too hard on him for what was probably a silly and jokey remark.
Vive la difference!

I'm with M0nica. At the very least, if your DD thought your DH was objectifying women, this sort of conversation gives her the opportunity to discuss how important it was to avoid this.

Yes, you are absolutely right, this is highly inappropriate on several levels. The young lad is at an impressionable age and may be taking what a possibly revered grandad has said totally on board. As a liberated 60's chick (!) I find the progress towards equality is depressingly slow. It's not helped by suggesting women be objectified in some way.

As for discussing sexual preferences in this manner with a young person under the age of consent - that's not on. Totally different if there are gender issues of course, but suspect that wouldn't have been brought up at a family do.

No.

Maybe the 14 year old simply asked his grandad if he was a boob or legs man.
14 year olds do know about these things.

Why is it appropriate for women to make comments on men's anatomy but not vice-versa? Both sexes are attracted by the physical attributes of the other sex! It happens throughout the animal kingdom!

The comments were probably repeated out of context and your husband was probably annoyed that you were making a fuss about it, as I would too!

There's no evidence that your husband did anything inappropriate, your daughters don't have a problem, nor should you!

Personally, I don't have a particular preference but still admire a pretty girl when I see one!

If your husband started the conversation that led to this remark then that does feel wrong on all kinds of levels, however, I have noticed on a few occasions over the years that the older males in a family feel quite anxious as to whether the young males of the family are going to like girls or not. Your husband grew up when attitudes were entirely different to today and from the little we know it sounds as if he got it wrong and is cross with himself, unlikely he will do it again.

Then G'dad points out that this is a disrespectful way to discuss women!
Query if he'd ask the question in the company of Mum or G'ma and if not then surely he /they can see that it's inappropriate!

I would say most men are either boob, bum or ankle men. No harm in that. To me the problem lies in intergenerational talk about sex etc. Should be limited to one's own peer group.

I might talk about sex or off colour jokes to my friends maybe, or talk about the opp sex, but not to my parents or children.

I think fluttERBY is right the comment was inappropriate to a young grandson. Don't get it out of proportion though, just an off the cuff remark. Perhaps Mum now has the opportunity to discuss why this was inappropriate with her son.
I'm sure the grandson will understand how things have changed. Don't cause a rift over
this, you need to pick your battles.

I've spoken in passing to my grandson about his preferences. No disrespect, not inappropriate, just conversation.
I now know that he doesn't like girls covered in make up or too skinny.

Pity that you have nothing else to worry about.
Mountain out of a molehill.

Oh for heavens sake forget it! No big deal, probably just a light hearted comment. Without listening to the whole conversation though it's hard to know the context. You've told him you diapprove. Now move on.