Would you have a disco at your wake.

Starbox funerals aren't FOR the deceased ,they're for the living .Part of the grieving process.

Oh I’m SO glad you have written this post as that’s EXACTLY what I want when I croak , a real East End knees up right from starting in the crem when I ll be brought in a coffin covered in Tardis paper and carried shoulder high by 6 gorgeous hunks , stripped to the waist with little bow ties! Lots of Bon Jovi, Hey Jude with everyone singing and the Doirs , light my fire, finishing with Schooks Out by Alice Cooper as I’m an Art teacher! I intend to have a great big disco and dancing afterwards! If you’re gonna go, go with a bang!!!!

I would want everything to be joyous.
Dress code would be as colourful as you like. Eccentric would be fabulous.
I want family and friends to have a wonderful time, eating, drinking, dancing, singing, whatever they want to do.
For me, it is about a celebration of Life not death.
The epitome would be my ashes sent up in a Firework and exploding across the sky in a myriad of twinkling colours.

i seem to be very much in the minority here, if i had the choice i would not have a funeral at all, i just cant see the point of them, its just more grieving , and expensive grieving too, the opinion seems to be that you are giving the deceased a good send off, whatever that means, the deceased knows nothing of this because they are not there anymore, i am not religious either so wouldnt want a service anyway, i know when my mother died there was, obviously , so much sorrow and crying then you have to go through it all again a week later at the funeral

Gabriella
metro.co.uk/2018/05/28/britains-first-body-farm-looking-volunteer-corpses-7584053/

earnshaw, don't think you're at all in the minority. I see more and more of us planning a 'no funeral' departure. This is often fuelled by the high rip off costs of the ceremony itself and the 'grieving' done by many who had no contact with the deceased for ages before their demise. Those I care for are in touch pretty regularly and they know the score.

Hm999

Thanks I'd actually seen that article which prompted my interest.
I'm not on my last legs YET but being of some use after death is appealing.
That, or buried deep under ice in Antarctica.
I don't fancy being interred or burned.

Teetime have you heard of direct disposal? its cremation that doesnt go via undertakers.

Undertakers often "misssell" their basic packages to people who are essentially saying they want direct disposal and they imply that the simplest and cheapest funeral available is one of their basic ones. Its not true. You don't need an undertaker/funeral at all!

Look into it

also FAO earnshaw see my above post

I think its a great idea, saves the family money & they can still have a memorial geathering if they feel thats what they want to do.

Ashes are still returned and the body can be viewed at the mortuary.

its a great option

www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk/what-do-you-pay-for-2/

Yes I would. My family have been told that if my body is not accepted for medical science then I want a quick cremation and a party afterwards where alk my favourite songs will be player very loudly while everyone dances around their handbags (like we used to when clubbing) in 70s/80s. Both my kids have agreed and air have listed my very eclectic mix of music from the 50's mostly 70's and 80's and some current stuff that I like to dance/sing to. I shall be sorry to miss it

"Teatime", when my aunt died she had left instructions with her cousin for no flowers, no "wake', no words spoken etc. We're not a huge family but we travelled from all over for the funeral. We were all shocked when after standing in the crem for 2 mins with the coffin, we were directed to leave. It was devastating, when the poor cousin had to explain. She's also been told not to let any of us know her wishes. I'd always got on well with my aunt and had spent quite a few weekends with her, as had my brother. In fact the day before she died, I'd driven a few hours to visit her in the hospice. This totally changed the way I saw her. It felt spiteful. She knew we would all come and it felt like such a rejection. If this is your choice, please explain why to family and friends. I don't think I'll ever think of her in the same light. Fortunately her cousin ignored one of her wishes and we did have a very quiet get together afterwards. We were so stunned though it wasn't as though we could remember her fondly and tell stories of which there were many.

Bypassing the wake (and the ££££s going to funeral directors) doesn't usually mean no gathering for those left behind. It just frees up the format by bypassing the funeral directors!

IMO your cousin managed it badly by inviting you all tooyoungtobeagrandma - sounds like your aunt didn't want that!

she should have told you all that there was no "funeral" and you could have arranged get togethers to grieve/remember her together between yourselves if you wished