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Would you have a disco at your wake.

(89 Posts)
Nanawind Fri 08-Jun-18 22:11:24

Have been to the funeral and wake of an old friend 12 noon start. After the buffet the music started and everyone started drinking and dancing, we left about an hour ago as couldn't drink anymore and it's still going strong it's a party atmosphere. He was always the life and soul of the party so I'm sure he'd of loved this.

How would you like your loved ones celebrate your life.

lollee Sun 10-Jun-18 11:08:55

For those who have mentioned leaving their bodies to anatomical research, please be aware that, for whatever reasons, they do not accept every single body offered so you will need a plan b. If they do accept they then undertake to present the body for burial/ cremation within 2 years at their expense. These were the rules when i retired in 2011 but i cannot 100% vouch that things have not changed since then.

Jane43 Sun 10-Jun-18 11:15:42

Same as us Teetime, as little fuss and expense as possible.

Nannan2 Sun 10-Jun-18 11:27:19

Hm.sadly we'l be gone so cant complain!?but in irish wakes yes they do get rowdy a bit ive heard.however would like to strike a midway between 'happy as larry'& morose!you could always write how you want your funeral in your will i suppose?

pollyperkins Sun 10-Jun-18 11:32:57

To be honest -no way!! I hate discos at the best of times and I think it would be totally inappropriate. I've never been to a funeral where that happens. It's usually a meal or a buffet where people can get together and chat, perhaps with some photos of the deceased and maybe a book to write memories in.

paddyann Sun 10-Jun-18 12:04:59

pollyperkins my granny used to tell amazing stories about Irish wakes where people played tricks on each other all while the corpse was laid out on the table in the centre of the room.They were including him/her in their fun before he left for good.Some of the "tricks" included a mourner having the corpses hand put in his pocket while he prayed ...he had owed the dear departed money and hadn't paid it back before the death.They didn't see anything wrong with having a laugh and neither did the debtor once he got over the shock .

Gillcro Sun 10-Jun-18 12:06:32

I would like people to celebrate my life. But just have a quiet drinkand some nice food with family and friends, so they can chat and enjoy meeting up.

gillyknits Sun 10-Jun-18 12:37:24

My husband’s auntie lived to be a hundred and at her cremation service there were lots of stories about her long life. We were all in tears,until the final piece of music which was ‘Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye’ ! We all left with smiles on our faces.

Pebbles77 Sun 10-Jun-18 13:10:14

Yes I would ;0) !! .... I want my children to have a break from all the grief .... I also want the mana mana song from the muppets ;9) .....

antheacarol55 Sun 10-Jun-18 13:25:55

I have planned mine no flowers bring a bottle for party afterwards

Stella14 Sun 10-Jun-18 13:32:46

Both hubby and I want to be burried in a natural burial ground (everything is biodegradable). There are shrouds now that are secure enough to carry with 8 tie handles. We’ll go for those, you can put them on a stand and do your own thing. There will be a buffet brought by those attending, Springstein, Queen and other favourites playing on a speaker, flowers from our garden and our dogs, if we still have dogs then.

Lyndylou Sun 10-Jun-18 13:39:16

I want my children to spend as little as possible on the cremation then come back to the house with friends and relatives and blast out Born To Run and Thunder Road. Then they can do what ever they like, I just like the idea of Bruce serenading my soul into the afterlife. Not that I believe in souls or afterlife really, I just find the idea vaguely comforting.

goldengirl Sun 10-Jun-18 13:56:32

I'd like my funeral to be a time of happy memories - no dirgy hymns but joyful songs of the family's choosing - ones they think I'd like. I want a basket coffin and a cremation with my ashes scattered somewhere in a place where I've had happy times - no grave as such. And I'd like everyone to have a good party. If they wish to do something particularly special I'd like 2 doves to be released

mimiro Sun 10-Jun-18 14:02:50

lyndylou
me too.and rosalita(was pretty much what happened and husband would sing it to me)

Lorelei Sun 10-Jun-18 14:12:34

No discos for me. I've discussed my wishes ... my better half and his business partner will make my coffin and transport me to the crematorium (in the truck if I don't fit in the car - I am very petite); they will carry me with help from a few others. I am grateful that they would do this for me. Short service with a few (hopefully quite kind) words and play a short tape I've made. My ashes will go in a woods, garden, or pot with either a tree or wildflowers that are good for pollinating insects - I trust they will find somewhere I'd approve of as they know me well. I don't want people to waste money on expensive flowers so they will make a small wreath or bouquet from whatever is around at the time of my death, and if people want to donate the money will go to a local animal charity we have supported for years. Each to their own, but personally I wouldn't want to make people feel they had to go to great lengths with bizarre requests.

HillyN Sun 10-Jun-18 14:13:27

I wouldn't want a disco and dancing at my wake because I think relatives and friends should be able to chat without struggling to hear each other. At my (church) funeral I want religious music, some traditional hymns and some modern ones, but I think it would be nice to play some of my favourite non-religious songs at the wake, quietly in the background while people eat and drink. They did this at a funeral I went to recently and I thought how nice it was, especially as his favourite singers/music had been mentioned during the service.

Elrel Sun 10-Jun-18 14:33:55

A loved and respected headteacher died, far too young, from cancer. She left instructions for her funeral including 'Let them dance'. And they did!

Lyndylou Sun 10-Jun-18 14:41:26

Hi mimiro, I love Rosalita especially that long (11 mins) live version. If I gave my kids a list of all the Bruce songs I think they should play they would be there for hours. Human Touch is the one I would want at the actual cremation if they needed anything at all. Luckily my daughter is as big a fan as me, she comes to his gigs with me when he comes to UK, my partner's taste is a bit more towards AC/DC but he tolerates Bruce.

Catterygirl Sun 10-Jun-18 15:08:29

I would want it over a.s.a.p. To avoid my only son pain. A bit of Faithless and Craig David would be OK and food would hopefully curry. Not planning on moving to Planet Zu Tu just yet. For those unaware Planet Zu Tu is a book I am writing about what happens to us after we die.

starbox Sun 10-Jun-18 15:23:41

Gosh, how tacky...doesnt suggest the departed is missed much if their nearest & dearest are boogeying on down! No, something quiet, lovely music, and a nice lunch after. (But then I shant be there to see so guess it's less for the benefit of the deceased than that it just leaves a chavvy feel in their wake...)

patriciageegee Sun 10-Jun-18 16:02:58

Yes yes and yes! Our family have always loved to dance from my great grandmothers down to my ballerina DGD and I can't think of anything better to send me on my merry way than some wonderful soul and motown. I want everyone crying and laughing and dancing and remembering the best times we've shared smile! And we're definitely NOT chavvy or tacky in any way - don't know what kind of a life you've led starbox if you equate the sheer joy of music and dance as such.

tiggers Sun 10-Jun-18 16:19:09

I am with you "patriciageegee". Motown and Soul for me too. My mother was a dancer. I met my husband at a disco. Our granddaughter loves to dance.

Hubby and I still love dancing but these days it's ballroom, Latin and sequence so it would be fitting that goodbyes were said with more of the same.

NannyC2 Sun 10-Jun-18 16:37:11

So sad to read some of the comments.....

A person's life should be celebrated, and its not for me to say how that may be done. However, I promise you it is not the end and you will be aware of what has taken place in the spirit.
God loves us all and I just pray more people will ask him into their hearts.
Blessings to you all

patriciageegee Sun 10-Jun-18 16:39:02

I know tiggers - I appreciate it is each to their own but loving to dance is our own. I couldn't imagine a life without it and think it is a big part of the essence of me which is surely what our loved ones want to cherish. My dear dear mum is quite close now to the end of her thankfully long life and she wants sending off with a few good tunes with the only hymn being 'oh Mary we crown thee with blossoms today' as her name's Mary and it's quite lovely, upbeat and tuneful as hymns go.

Blue45Sapphire Sun 10-Jun-18 18:05:53

I'd want them to have a good time on me, lovely food, a bar and music. Preferably my favourite pianist playing tunes from the great American Songbook.

wellingtonpie Sun 10-Jun-18 19:01:36

I'd love it.